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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that some parents just don't care?

162 replies

SarahAJ · 23/10/2013 19:06

Firstly, I know it sounds bad to judge other parents but just as a GENERAL impression of what other parents reckon.The situation is thus.....My DD (reception) is due to start the Read, Write, Inc programme at school. As such, the teachers arranged a great meeting/presentation to help the parents understand the system and show how they can help their children learn to read/write/spell. It was only 45 minutes, starting after drop-off. Out of 50 pupils, less than twenty parents turned up. Its not the first meeting that hardly anyone has attended (we have been to them ALL)and I find it disrespectful to the teachers and quite disgusted that some parents just don't bother.Before anyone mentions the "some parents have to work..... " stuff at me, I fully understand this as both myself and DP work but isn't your childs education important enough to get half a morning off?! My biggest priority right now is my DD's early education. Rant over. Don't get your knickers in a twist too much. Its just a general thing I was wondering. Ta muchly.

OP posts:
ToucanBlack · 23/10/2013 20:01

Honestly? At my school we would be celebrating if 20 out of 50 turned up!
Grin

Out of about 90 pupils in a year group, the average meeting will have maybe 10-15 parents.

But anyway YABU.

Haribojoe · 23/10/2013 20:02

When DS1 started reception I wasn't able to attend any meetings like these as I was nursing my terminal ill Mum.

I'm not a bad parent but my situation at the time meant something had to give.

YABVU as you have no idea of what reasons other parents may have for not attending.

pianodoodle · 23/10/2013 20:04

P.s yes I think it's very unreasonable to draw the conclusion that the parents just don't care.

jamaisjedors · 23/10/2013 20:04

"My DSs education is FAR more important to me than my job, yes"

You know what, my job is more important to US ALL than one teeny tiny bit of DS's education, and as multiple posters have pointed out, plenty of people interested in their children's education will already have this info or be able to find it out without actually attending.

Plus my job happens to be looking after several hundred young adults' education, so no, I can't take a morning off to go to the DSs' school.

Xmasbaby11 · 23/10/2013 20:05

YABU. Many parents work and there are a million other events to try to get time off for. I don't think it means they don't value education.

littlebillie · 23/10/2013 20:08

Our school does this sort of thing after7 in the evening greatly appreciate the way the accommodate those who work

HeadfirstForHalos · 23/10/2013 20:13

I wonder if the other parents were thinking me a bad mother for not staying for the reading meeting last month? Quite frankly I would rather spend the time reading with my children. I couldn't be arsed to stay for a lecture on the importance of daily reading (which we do anyway) and I know the other stuff already.

I hope your judgy pants aren't chafing too much.

HeadfirstForHalos · 23/10/2013 20:15

It was for DC4 I should add! Plenty of other people have made the point that many have older children and know the score.

29chapel · 23/10/2013 20:17

YABU and judgmental. I am freelance as is my OH so if we don't work we don't get paid. I would never not take on a project because of a presentation on phonics - if it were considered important enough that all parents attend, the school would ensure it took place outside normal working hours. Some parents have to balance out their responsibilities. Assuming people 'don't care' is frankly, ridiculous.

needaholidaynow · 23/10/2013 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JerseySpud · 23/10/2013 20:20

YABVU.

I can't make half of the school things for DD1 because im not allowed to take DD2 and she is a menace to the other kids

Caitycat · 23/10/2013 20:22

Well I spend a lot of time feeling like an inadequate mum and am therefore looking forward to being judged on this sort of thing when dc are old enough. I am also a teacher so no chance of time off during the school day (don't imagine op would be very impressed if I were her dc's teacher and took a morning off for this!) and also wouldn't have any childcare if it just happened to fall on my day off. Yes some parents don't care but I imagine the vast majority of non-attenders had a perfectly good reason for not attending. No doubt they will forever have a black mark against their name in your opinion though.

May09Bump · 23/10/2013 20:23

Good for you, your perfect. I'm one of the mums who didn't turn up. Doesn't mean I don't give a shit - I have turned up for everything else and missed it for a good reason. What you don't know is I've been through the website, teachers advisory guidance notes and various you tube tutorials - taking a lot longer than 45 minutes.

And as to being disrespectful to the teachers, I notified them I wasn't attending, asked if above research would be enough and said I would available for an appointment at another time if needed.

Finally, my DS (reception) can already read, so maybe I look at people attending these events thinking they haven't put in the effort to teach their LO to read before school. But then I'd be as much as an idiot as someone who thinks people can always get time off when they want, as I know kids progress at different rates.

HerrenaHarridan · 23/10/2013 20:27

Maybe the other 30 were computer literate enough to google it Grin

Mumsyblouse · 23/10/2013 20:28

YABU to think that attending a very pedestrian meeting about a new reading and writing scheme is any kind of litmus test for a caring parents.

It's a litmus test for who has flexible working, not got other little ones to care for, isn't busy teaching other children/adults, know about the scheme or similar already, know their kids are reading/writing already, etc.

I can't get a half a morning off work for anything except an emergency in term-time. However, even if I could I've been round the block reading/writing wise and probably wouldn't attend. I've attended similar ones and found them pretty useless (esp. maths) so it's not for me.

Ghostsgowoooh · 23/10/2013 20:43

I missed something similar for dd3 earlier on in the year. However seeing as I was attending a hospital appointment which was session 1 of a 2 part assessment for ds autism that we had been waiting years for I had to unfortunately miss the school thing

But of course you are right op. I clearly dont give a shit about my dc education. Angry

TheFabulousIdiot · 23/10/2013 20:46

Perhaps rail agains the fact that everything is arranged for weekdays when they should be arranged in the evenings.

QueFonda · 23/10/2013 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Canthisonebeused · 23/10/2013 20:55

Just to add this week alone I have supported my dd who is in y3 to make a large numeracy poster. Along side usual home work of spelling, story writing and numeracy and daily reading. This is a normal home work week. On top of that I have had to make a gas mask box, print out instructions for gas mask, an id badge, find a family photograph, come up with a a WW11 costume, sponsored readathon, fireworks colouring competition £1, fork out a further £6 for a book signing. Create a story box (have not done this one yet, hope to tomorrow evening). Come up with yet another book costume for Friday and an additional £1 for this. There is also fashion show my dd isn't involved in but had I had another child I would need to have done all the above as well as make a fashion show outfit. I wouldn't have made any meetings as all weeks lunch breaks and time off has been dedicated to organising all of the above.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 23/10/2013 20:58

Don't you just hate the smug perfect parent....

ATailOfTwoKitties · 23/10/2013 20:58

Mine could read before school.

Just saying...

lisad123everybodydancenow · 23/10/2013 21:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/10/2013 21:03

So, in my last few jobs, I have had to be there because; I was in SS and there were Court dates and meetings and Care Plans and criminal matters; I teach so there is no room to move (I am the only facilitator so no one can cover); I was part of a team that had to have certain numbers or the shelter had to close so if I left 100+ homeless people were on the street.

I know you now know YWBU so sorry to rant on. Grin

kungfupannda · 23/10/2013 21:10

I didn't go to ours.

Was this because:

a) I had no childcare, and I'm not a complete idiot who is incapable of figuring it out for myself.
b) I just don't care.

I'm going with a) myself, but nice to know there were some parents sat there smugly assuming it was b)

TigOldBitties · 23/10/2013 21:13

I care and I could get out of work because I work from home, but I still wouldn't have gone. It sounds like a load of old bollocks that I doesn't necessitate time off.

You'll soon learn what you need to go to and what you don't.

I have a computer and internet access, I have 5 DC who I taught to read at home and my hourly rate means that I only stop working for emergencies or enjoyment.