to think that some parents just don't care?

[SarahAJ]

Firstly, I know it sounds bad to judge other parents but just as a GENERAL impression of what other parents reckon.The situation is thus.....My DD (reception) is due to start the Read, Write, Inc programme at school. As such, the teachers arranged a great meeting/presentation to help the parents understand the system and show how they can help their children learn to read/write/spell. It was only 45 minutes, starting after drop-off. Out of 50 pupils, less than twenty parents turned up. Its not the first meeting that hardly anyone has attended (we have been to them ALL)and I find it disrespectful to the teachers and quite disgusted that some parents just don't bother.Before anyone mentions the "some parents have to work..... " stuff at me, I fully understand this as both myself and DP work but isn't your childs education important enough to get half a morning off?! My biggest priority right now is my DD's early education. Rant over. Don't get your knickers in a twist too much. Its just a general thing I was wondering. Ta muchly.

If I took time off for every event related to DS's education, there would be less time to spend with him in the holidays and more time he would have to spend in holiday club. The only things not scheduled in working hours are a very small chunk of time on one of the parent's evenings and I have to send a friend into battle to baggsy the late slot for me.

Wow, you are totally a better parent than me. Than everyone else, in fact!

Not all employers will give you the time off! Busy periods, staff shortages or amount of people allowed off is full. I tried to book a week off a year in advance and was denied!
Does not mean these parents dont care at all.

I missed my daughters first school play - was gutted , her education is important .. but so is food and rent !

Yabvu I dont attened meetings like this at school and neither does dp due to work.

Im an early years teacher and dp is a peadeatric surgeon. To make us care more for our children do i cancel my class for the morning or does dp cancel operations! Sorry op you really need to get over yourself.

i never went to meetings like this as i knew they would be full of judgemental sanctimonious fuckers.
Besides my son could already read as I had spent the previous five years reading to him.
HTH

YABU. I am agoraphobic and getting DS to school and back on a daily basis is tough enough. Sitting in a room for 45 mins is impossible most days.

Also, I am fully capable of teaching my child to read write and spell.

Oh I'm even worse.

I clearly do not care about my ds1 education at all

I was the talk of the fucking playground when I did not go to the year 6 SATS meeting and the secondary transfer meeting.

I didn't go because the meetings were at 9:45. I start work at 8:45.
And because I did not want to go. At all.

Because I am quite able to find out the information myself. And because I have a child who is a year older than ds1
And because, like most people I would imagine, I do not only rely on the school to give me important information about significant events in my children's lives.

I know they transfer to a secondary school at the end of year 6. Clearly, I am quite capable of finding out when open evenings are, information about schools, application deadlines etc by myself without taking a half day from work.
But I was constantly asked "but what are you going to do? How will you know what to do if you didn't go to the meeting?"

Really? Are people that simple that they think if you miss a meeting there are no other sources of information?

The parents at ds2 school think I am very uncaring because they do not see me at parents evening. That's because I cannot get there by 6:00. This is the last available appointment.
They don't know that I go in the day before, or the day after at 3.30.

When I saw your post title I thought it was going to be along the lines of:

"I've recently found out that some children in DCs class have been turning up to school without lunches and aren't signed up to school dinners. My DC also tell me that they don't get breakfast at home and frequently asked to have some of their lunches. I'm worried about the children and noticed that they are often unwashed and in dirty clothes and have shared my concerns with the teacher. I feel really upset that they might not be being fed properly and that their parents just don't care"

THAT is a situation where you could believe a child isn't being cared for, a parent not being able to take time off work is NOT. The average person is entitled to 28 days off a year including bank holidays. With 2 parents you still can't cover the 13 weeks school holidays with that, never mind take off mornings to attend non vital meetings. Be grateful you have the ability to go to thse meetings and stop judging others who can't.

Are people that simple that they think if you miss a meeting there are no other sources of information?

Especially as, in the cases you cite (KS2 SATS and secondary transfer) there's a strong chance that the information obtained from the council's website and other official sources will be right, while the information given in a primary school meeting will be utter bollocks. Primary school gatherings are the best places to be told that SATS are used by your local school for setting, that you should put down your local secondary first to be sure of a place because they'll have allocated the places to the first preferences before you get to the second, and all the rest of the utter nonsense that parents of 10 year olds are told by teachers who should, but don't, know better.

Did you attend, Op?

That's all that should concern you.

Sarah you sound very young and immature.

There is a myriad of reasons why parents cannot attend these things, one might be that their DC can already read, and read very well! Therefore it would serve no purpose to that parent to go!

Again, whilst some DC may not write or read well some parents do an awful lot with them at home and again, feel they do not need to further back this up.

Some parents do also have many jobs where no, time off, a morning off is not ok, not with other children as well, sickness, covering parent when they are also sick and again a host of reasons why they can not get to the school gate.

I agree with you in that right now, my DD's education is the most important thing but you would I am afraid call me a bad parent too, as I was laid up with post operative issues when DD's class thing came in for the reading support and my DH was too busy helping with me and the baby.

It sounds like this is your first child in reception.

I think if I were you I would save the judge rants until I had more than one half term of school juggling under my belt.

I dont give a shit how they teach them I have looked around the school, its great, all the children in the school seem to be able to read and write judging by the ofsted reports, I am not a teacher, I have no patience for teaching, and I did not want to go to the meetings to see how they do it. She has to go to school by law, its out of my hands , now they can get on with it, shes reasonably bright I am sure she will do ok, if not the teacher will let me know. I will sit and read with her at home and help with homework but I am afraid that is the extent of involvement I want in the world of education.
also was not disrespectful as I opted out with the reply slip so I was not expectedand they actually fell on the days I was doing my induction training for a new job after months of unemployment (bit irrelevant though as I still wouldnt have gone if they hadnt)

They usually give a handout after the event at our school.

We have quite a lot of these things in a year - we can't take time off work (at ridiculously short notice usually) for all of them.

So I tend to prioritise. If I can get a handout, I don't need to be there. If dc is saying a line in a play, they'll get upset if I'm not there. So I'll try and make that one.

It's really nothing to do with how much people care, just their availability.

Maybe parents don't go because they've heard its full of smug perfect parents and can't bear to be in their presence....

I'll let you in on a little secret...

Teachers don't actually give a toss whether you show up or not. We really don't care. We would much prefer to just get on with the job we are trained to do rather than having to waste hours holding 'information sessions' to explain to parents why we are capable of doing our jobs.

Wow bully for you and a old star for your services to perfect parenting. Personally my first priority is working to keep a roof over the kids heads. Reading workshops don't pay the bills sadly.

I can never recall my parents ever being expected to attend such "events" IIRC Parents were only ever summoned to school for parents evening once a year.

My oldest DS is now 27, and again,the only time we were ever invited into school was for parents evening and the nativity play.

Guess what we all learnt to read and write.

My DS is in Reception. I've missed all three info sessions on this sort of thing, and I'm a SAHM. Somebody slap me!

Session 1: forgot
Session 2: DS had been sent home from school that afternoon with croup
Session 3: DD had been to A&E the night before with croup

I expect we'll muddle through

Oh, and when I opened this thread I thought it was going to be about the mum who was walking ahead of me on the school run this afternoon, who blanked her toddler's repeated efforts to get her attention until he was screaming, then yelled 'shut up! just shut up! no you can't have it! no I'm not carrying it, SHUT UP!' and threw the stick he'd been carrying over her shoulder so it hit a stranger's car. And then gave him a clip round the ear before going back to ignoring him.

I can't just take time off at my work. If someone else is off then I can't take it off simple as that. What would you expert me to do?

TheBitches - she was probably late for her phonics meeting.