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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pretty uncomfortable with home circumcision

578 replies

EastofEast · 20/10/2013 20:31

We get on very well with our neighbours and are pretty close but I was a bit shocked today, one of those moments where you find you really have opposing views on something quite fundamental.

Neighbour has a (gorgeous) two week old boy. She knocked on the door earlier to return my car keys (went to get a new battery for hers in my car) and I mentioned her new ds was unsettled for the first time ever; joking maybe he wasn't the perfect baby after all. My baby is demanding much more vocal about her needs. She said it was because he was circumcised today. I must have looked a little put off, I don't agree with it at all, as she then said 'oh he's doing really well. We were lucky the doctor came to house to do this one, all the others had to go to a clinic'. I was stunned, I'm amazed you're allowed to do such a thing at home in such an unregulated way. Frankly I wouldn't allow any deliberate harm to come to a child that wasn't medically necessary, but considering some people do do it I thought the rules would be tighter. We're both from (different) backgrounds which circumcise, although I refused to change my son, and I knew she'd do it after a related chat about whether fgm was that bad over a coffee one day but it's still upset me a bit the way it's done. The poor little thing is grumpy with loads of adults around to celebrate the event passing him round and round at 8.30pm.

I know the circumcision vs no circumcision has been done already, and not everyone shares my strong views, but at home? Should this be ok? I can't think of other similar procedures happening in a similar environment.

OP posts:
curlew · 24/10/2013 14:15

"The reasons are cultural and religious (ie they wanted to be circumcised men)"

But that's a daft argument,if they wanted to be circumcised men for religious reasons,then of course they were glad they were circumcised!

MajorieDawes · 24/10/2013 14:16

It might be daft for you but it's not for them - and they are the owners of said penises.

BackOnlyBriefly · 24/10/2013 14:17

MajorieDawes This was my comment.

Could it be that some Jewish people have cynically decided that claiming anti-semitism gives them an added advantage?

Note the 'some'. Check the meaning in a dictionary if you are not familiar with it.

I have personal experience of being accused of being anti-semitic by some people who simply didn't like me holding a different opinion to them.

Therefore that is a valid comment and if you don't like it then tough.

CoteDAzur · 24/10/2013 14:17

"of course I can (figure it out by myself). I'm trying to draw the attention of others to inconsistencies"

You can easily say "I think x is inconsistent with y" then people would know what you mean.

When you ask a question, people are spending time and effort answering you. If you know the answer already, please spare us the trouble.

HazleNutt · 24/10/2013 14:17

No it's not as easy to circumcise an adult. Guess what's even harder - uncircumcise one.

FoxMulder · 24/10/2013 14:18

I've checked with DH. He likes his foreskin and he wants to keep it. Now to just find some other men to ask...

curlew · 24/10/2013 14:18

It's not daft for them to be please, it's daft for you to use it as an argument in favour of circumcision.

MajorieDawes · 24/10/2013 14:18

Or perhaps you are insensitive in your comments.

curlew · 24/10/2013 14:19

Somebody on this thread said that objecting to infant circumcision was anti Semitic.

crescentmoon · 24/10/2013 14:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MajorieDawes · 24/10/2013 14:20

I'm not arguing in favour of anything. You asked the reasons why the owners of circumcised penises that I know are glad that they were circumcised as newborns. I'm not religious myself so it doesn't mean much to me. Sorry you find their reasons daft, guess you know best what's good for them.

BackOnlyBriefly · 24/10/2013 14:21

Cote if you don't like my posting style you have a number of options including leaving the thread or saying to MNHQ "I don't like his posting style please ban him".

Why you think I should care that you don't like it is a mystery to me.

MajorieDawes · 24/10/2013 14:21

Curlew

I personally think the histrionics and pearl clutching about male circumcision (child abuse!!) to be tinged with a touch of xenophobia (not just anti semitism)

MajorieDawes · 24/10/2013 14:24

I've checked with DH. He likes his foreskin and he wants to keep it. Now to just find some other men to ask...

So we can probably conclude that when it comes to male circumcision, most parents are managing to guess right these days about whether they should circumcise or not in the best interests of their child.

Your DH is happy with his foreskin, mine is very happy without his.

I think there are way bigger problems in the world for people to get worked up about...

curlew · 24/10/2013 14:24

See? Measured, well constructed arguments reduced to anti Semitic hysteria. If that's not an attempt to silence opposition I don't know what is!

MajorieDawes · 24/10/2013 14:25

^Cote if you don't like my posting style you have a number of options including leaving the thread or saying to MNHQ "I don't like his posting style please ban him".

Why you think I should care that you don't like it is a mystery to me.^

Or you could try being a bit less offensive? Just a suggestion.

MajorieDawes · 24/10/2013 14:27

I wouldn't call saying that male circumcision is child abuse and that those who do it don't have a shred of humanity a measured or well constructed argument personally.

I think there are valid arguments for and against. But there is hysteria and quite a bit of silliness on this thread and I do think it's xenophobia that drives some of it.

crescentmoon · 24/10/2013 14:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

curlew · 24/10/2013 14:31

The English upper classes have always been fans of circumcision. It was supposed to prevent masturbation.

MajorieDawes · 24/10/2013 14:32

As I said before, sexualising circumcision is a western thing.

crescentmoon · 24/10/2013 14:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BackOnlyBriefly · 24/10/2013 14:35

Or you could try being a bit less offensive? Just a suggestion.

Cote is complaining that I did maliciously and with malice aforethought ask a rhetorical question. If you want to claim that is offensive that is fine - run with it.

MajorieDawes · 24/10/2013 14:36

Well, I also found your comments offensive for different reasons. I know you don't care but that is probably part of the reason why you are being offensive (ie maybe consider how your comments might sound to others)

jellybeans · 24/10/2013 14:40

There are Bris Shalom as an alternative for Jewish baby boys.

www.jewsagainstcircumcision.org/brisshalom.htm

Should be no reason to cut body parts off unless medical. What if someone has a different/new religion where they decide they should cutoff another body part? Where would it end. Lots of things in the bible are not done today.

jellybeans · 24/10/2013 14:41

I think before long it will be outlawed anyway as most outdated practices are.