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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to turn down this free car and offend the giver?

184 replies

tygertygerburningbright · 20/10/2013 18:12

I genuinely have no idea if I'm being a spoilt brat about this or not, so I welcome opinions!

I have taken about 20 driving lessons, I'm in my late twenties, and I'm fairly confident I'll pass my test before Christmas. I'm a lone parent and a student so don't have much money. My grandmother is paying for my driving lessons. Today she told me she would give me her car when I pass my test. Which of course is lovely! And I am most grateful for the offer. But... I'll try to list my hesitations..

It's a petrol, and I have learned in a diesel (had a few lessons in a petrol and honestly drove crap because I couldn't really get the hang of the whole needing the gas pedal to do manouvers etc when in a diesel its loads easier because you can just lift the clutch and go.) I know I may very well get used to a petrol in no time, but I am worried about it.

It's teeny tiny, like smaller than a Micra, smaller than any car other than a smart car I think. And I am 6 foot. There will be zero leg room in the back seat behind me. And I am training to work in a trade so I need a fair amount of room for tools etc, which there is none in this car.

It's not very nice... This is the crappiest reason ever not to want it, but basically I hate it and would never choose it in a million years.

All that said, I know it's very very nice of her to offer, and I do think maybe I'm being a bit ungrateful about it. A free car is a free car, and I don't think many people's first car is their dream car really. Also, she would be hugely offended if I said no.

I haven't said anything to my grandmother of course, because I think deep down even I know I'm being horrible...

OP posts:
ThankGodItsTuesday · 20/10/2013 18:15

Can you afford to turn it down though?
Also I had no idea it was vastly different to drive petrol or diesel.
I've owned both and not noticed any difference.

RandomMess · 20/10/2013 18:16

YABU think of your insurance!

TippiShagpile · 20/10/2013 18:16

Can you afford to buy a car yourself?

TBH, I'd take it and see it for what is - a means of getting from a to b.

A car is a car is a car.

Original poster
tygertygerburningbright · 20/10/2013 18:17

I have a feeling if I take the car she will pay my insurance for the first year at least anyway...

I could probably save a grand for a car of my own. But then of course she definitely not pay my insurance..

OP posts:
TippiShagpile · 20/10/2013 18:19

A grand for a car?.

Good luck with that. Have a look on line and see what you get for a grand.

RandomMess · 20/10/2013 18:19

I don't think you can afford to turn it down!

Stop being a spoilt brat Smile

Sirzy · 20/10/2013 18:21

Seems rather daft to turn it down to me. So what if its not the perfect car, it's a free car and with possible free insurance which sounds pretty perfect to me!

cardibach · 20/10/2013 18:21

I have a diesel and have always had petrol before. I think diesel is marginally harder to manage, clutch pedal wise.
Take the car! WIth only you in it there will be room for tools etc.

Isabelonatricycle · 20/10/2013 18:22

I think the height issue is your only valid (as in acceptable to her) reason to turn it down. Petrol v diesel you will get used to, and the fact you don't like it is I think minor compared to it being free, and as you say, dream car for a first car is unlikely.

Perhaps if you show her the height issue (ie get in the driving seat, move it to where you need it to be and demonstrate) and also talk about room for tools etc, she might see the problem? Especially if you make sure you thank her very much for the offer.

To be honest, though, unless the height issue is clearly restrictive, I think you say thank you very much, very kind of you, etc and then in due course buy your own car when this one has died.

ilovecolinfirth · 20/10/2013 18:22

It's not difficult to get the hang of a petrol car. It's a lovely offer, accept graciously :)

5Foot5 · 20/10/2013 18:22

Take it! Especially if you think she will throw in the first year's insurance.

I really don't think you will notice much difference between petrol and diesel for long. We have had an hired both and I can't say I have noticed.

So it's not your dream car? So what! It will keep you going for a bit and enable you to save up and afford something more suitable in time. She sounds like a very, very generous lady.

duckyfuzz · 20/10/2013 18:23

YABVU, never look a gift horse in the mouth! No difference between diesel/petrol to drive as far as I've ever noticed, have driven both over the 25 years since passing test

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 20/10/2013 18:23

I would take the car.

When I passed my test 10 years ago I went on DP insurance it cost me around £1700 on insurance ( it was a 2.0 rover vitesse)

frustratedashell · 20/10/2013 18:23

Can I have it then please? Lol
You do sound pretty ungrateful. I would be thrilled to bits. I think you should accept it. You can always get something more to your liking in the future

Sunshinenow · 20/10/2013 18:24

There's hardly any difference in driving a diesel and petrol.

Do you mean an automatic? If so ypu would be better learning in a manual so you aren't limited.

Diesel used to be the cheaper fuel. It isn't any more.

LaurieFairyCake · 20/10/2013 18:25

If it's a Citroen C1 my 6ft 2 inch dh drives one. Loads of head room Wink

You won't be driving anyone else (98% of journeys are made by a lone driver) so you can use the back seat for your tools - therefore it doesn't matter about leg room behind you.

You can always claim it's stopped working/become uneconomical after a few months if you really hate it

As you're a new driver you probably don't know how quickly you will become used to a new car - everyone who first learns always wants to buy the same car they learned in. It's an irrational fear that quickly passes. It really will take you a day to get used to it.

holidaysarenice · 20/10/2013 18:25

Never look a gift horse in the mouth. Even if u keep it 6 months and then sell it for a better one with her permission.

Also a pro or con might be the insurance. As an old car it cud be more expensive than u expect. Conversely as a small car it cud be less than excpected and so get you over that expensive first year.

DragonMamma · 20/10/2013 18:26

YABU and a bit childish. Take the car and ve grateful. Oh and a grand for insurance?? Mine was £1200 for TPFT on a Clio 14 years ago...

Heymacarena · 20/10/2013 18:26

I have driven petrol and diesel cars and not noticed any difference in driving.

I would accept graciously - and drive it . When you have saved up enough to buy something larger then you can do so. Until then you will be without anyway if you don't have ready cash.

holidaysarenice · 20/10/2013 18:27

My first years insurance in my dads name was 2200 pounds on a ford focus.

Good luck with your grand!!

Tuppenceinred · 20/10/2013 18:28

You need to learn to be able to drive different cars anyway, and the difference between petrol and diesel shouldn't be an obstacle. After you pass your test why not see if you can borrow the car and go and drive a shedload of miles in it? You need to do a couple of 100 miles to get used to any car.
Bear in mind that you could buy exactly the same make and model car that you did your lessons in, and it could still feel very different in the clutch etc. Also - you won't be able to afford the same car as your driving school car will you? So you'll need to adapt.
Why not explain your reservations to your gran, particularly re your height, and ask if you can have that test period before making a final decision. But also go and do your homework re what you can get for £1k, and how much insurance will cost on various cars. If you buy a car for £1k take the advice of my OH who is a car mechanic - he says you'll need a reserve of at least £500 in your "bin" to be ready for repairs in the first 6 - 12 months.
I don't think you're being a spoiled brat, you're just very inexperienced when it comes to driving and owning cars.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 20/10/2013 18:28

I've been driving a long time - probably since about the time you were taking your first steps!! Grin

There is very very very little difference in driving a diesel and a petrol fuelled car. The major difference is between manual & automatic - are you sure this isn't what you are talking about??

If you can only just scrape together £1k for a car you would be an absolute idiot to turn down this very kind offer. Stop behaving like a spoilt twat or let your lovely Gran give it to someone who will appreciate it.

itsametaphordaddy · 20/10/2013 18:28

Very ungrateful.

TippiShagpile · 20/10/2013 18:28

The grand is for the car, not the insurance...!

DontmindifIdo · 20/10/2013 18:30

Take the car, you can't afford a dream car with only a grand saved!

It might not be your long term car, but it's a start. Take it, if after say, 12 months it's still hard to drive and you are finding the lack of space an issue, trade it in for something larger, you can explain to her that you needed a bigger car for your tools, but by that point it has been yours long enough for it not be offensive to trade it in.