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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to turn down this free car and offend the giver?

184 replies

tygertygerburningbright · 20/10/2013 18:12

I genuinely have no idea if I'm being a spoilt brat about this or not, so I welcome opinions!

I have taken about 20 driving lessons, I'm in my late twenties, and I'm fairly confident I'll pass my test before Christmas. I'm a lone parent and a student so don't have much money. My grandmother is paying for my driving lessons. Today she told me she would give me her car when I pass my test. Which of course is lovely! And I am most grateful for the offer. But... I'll try to list my hesitations..

It's a petrol, and I have learned in a diesel (had a few lessons in a petrol and honestly drove crap because I couldn't really get the hang of the whole needing the gas pedal to do manouvers etc when in a diesel its loads easier because you can just lift the clutch and go.) I know I may very well get used to a petrol in no time, but I am worried about it.

It's teeny tiny, like smaller than a Micra, smaller than any car other than a smart car I think. And I am 6 foot. There will be zero leg room in the back seat behind me. And I am training to work in a trade so I need a fair amount of room for tools etc, which there is none in this car.

It's not very nice... This is the crappiest reason ever not to want it, but basically I hate it and would never choose it in a million years.

All that said, I know it's very very nice of her to offer, and I do think maybe I'm being a bit ungrateful about it. A free car is a free car, and I don't think many people's first car is their dream car really. Also, she would be hugely offended if I said no.

I haven't said anything to my grandmother of course, because I think deep down even I know I'm being horrible...

OP posts:
LunaticFringe · 20/10/2013 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rockybalBOOOOa · 20/10/2013 22:20

Do you need a car? How else would you get a car? I have never in almost 20 years of driving never noticed any difference between driving petrol or diesel. Have you explained to her that's it's too small really due to your height/tools etc?

ErmagherdPerngwens · 20/10/2013 22:20

You will get used to petrol in time and I think it's well worth getting experience in different sorts of cars, I drive 3 cars on a semi-regular basis (2 petrol, 1 diesel), the diesel took some getting used to as I'd only driven petrol since passing my test (over 10 years).

When I first passed my test I only ever drove 1 car and it made me really nervous changing, so I do sympathise, but it will make your life much easier if you can be more adaptable. When I swap I always over-rev the diesel and stall the petrol for the first couple of minutes, so I think they are different, you get used to it though.

trixymalixy · 20/10/2013 22:22

All cars are different to drive. I used to have to switch between two diesel cars, one where the clutch sprang back up and was very easy to stall until you were used to it and the other where you barely had to lift your foot off the floor before you found the biting point. One where you barely had to touch the brakes and you were practically through the windscreen and the other where you had to be a lot firmer on the brakes.

Its more likely just that you have only driven two cars and are assuming the difference is due to one being petrol the other diesel whereas it's just that all cars are different. And you very quickly get used to a new car.

ProphetOfDoom · 20/10/2013 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RenterNomad · 20/10/2013 22:31

LunaticFringe - shhh about the Style&Beauty lacuna! I prefer to think of MNers as Renaissance Women! Grin

BTW, our diesel estate does stall (it's a heavy car), but then reignites!! Shock A little gasp, and we're running again, which I still find disconcerting, but have got used to surprisingly easily (unlike the BLOODY parking sensors).

Runwayqueen · 20/10/2013 22:33

I would take the car, it's very lovely of your grandmother to finance your lessons and car.

I learnt in a Clio diesel sport, once I passed my parents gave me a fiat sentio (sp) petrol and it was the perfect just passed my test car for me. I now drive a matiz, it's lovely and surprisingly nippy and very spacious. Dp is over 6ft and he happily fits in it. All dd's car seats have too. Dp drives a diesel passat sport and I'm forever stalling that.

expatinscotland · 20/10/2013 22:36

Free lessons, free tests, free car, free insurance. Can she come and be my grandmother? I'll take whatever it is, it's better than the bus!

devilcakes · 20/10/2013 22:48

Fuck me ill take it if you dont want it! I've got my test in three weeks, single parent so saving hard, free car bring it on!!

GreenShadow · 20/10/2013 23:00

My DH has a diesel.
I have a petrol.
I've never noticed any difference when driving them, so please don't use this as a reason not to accept her offer.

Bogeyface · 21/10/2013 00:27

Take the car and then if its size does become an issue then talk it over with her about part exing for something else. But tbh for £1k you wont get anything worth having, never mind the insurance costs, getting it through it MOT will cost a fortune and it will be far more likely to break down than a run around with one careful lady owner!

gasman · 21/10/2013 00:49

Hmm. I used to think it was really hard to stall diesels until I got my current car. Diesel. Set up for fuel efficiency. I stall fairly frequently as you really have to rev to pull off esp if cold/ up hill. I've also been driving for almost (gulp) 20 years.

I think driving multiple cars is really great. As a family we tend to swap cars about quite a bit. This week I drove my car (boring hatchback), my Dad's (boring hatchback) and my brothers (beloved landrover) as at various points their car was more suitable then mine (or the other way around... ) Only being comfortable driving one car is really limiting (I know my Mother was like that for her entire driving life) so embrace the change and take the free car.

I'm a relatively high earning professional and I don't drive my dream car. In fact the older I get the less I spend on cars....

BadztMaru · 21/10/2013 07:37

To all the people snorting about the fact the op has £1000 to spend,You can get a perfectly adequate car for under a grand and you can pay insurance monthly. You do not need a couple if grand up front.
Although I'd take the free car.

ZillionChocolate · 21/10/2013 07:51

But if the £1000 budget is scraped together, how likely is it that you have much spare each month for new driver insurance and a repairs fund?

OP, you could get used to a new car. Spend an hour or so driving around somewhere quiet like a supermarket car park before they open.

expatinscotland · 21/10/2013 08:36

My dad is like that when it comes to cars, gasman. I thought it was because he is (well, retired now), an engineer.

Mouserama · 21/10/2013 09:06

I really don't understand what you mean about petrol v diesel! I've had both, and the only difference I've noticed is that the rev counter doesn't go as high on a diesel and to get optimum accelaration in a diesel, you have to be between 2000 and 4000 revs or you get nothing (whereas petrol cars will accelerate at a much wider range of revs)

GhostsInSnow · 21/10/2013 09:17

Also never found a difference between petrol and diesel. As others have said I've found a difference in every car I've driven in clutch bite. I have a small old petrol clio, DH has a diesel focus. I can drive that as easily as my own.
I also own a 1982 TR7. There is a huge difference between driving that and the clio, clutch bite is different, brakes aren't as responsive, steering isn't power steering etc. There can be just as big a difference in driving 2 petrol cars as there is a petrol vs a diesel.
And for the record, I passed my test in 1991.

As for OP. YABU. It's a car, a free car. Snap her hand off.

ChipAndSpud · 21/10/2013 09:19

I've recently passed my driving test and I learnt to drive in the same make and model car as my husbands car but the two cars felt totally different to drive. The only thing that was the same was the size of the car so I knew my 'reference points' for parking already once I started driving Dh's car.

Unless your head is touching the ceiling on your Nan's car, I'd take it and be grateful! She sounds lovely and it's very sweet of her to be helping you to get on the road.

HelloLA · 21/10/2013 09:22

@ BadztMaru, even monthly insurance can be unaffordable. Mine is £80/month (I have a clean license, but it's bumped up by living in London/onstreet parking/no UK no-claims history etc). Plus I had to make an initial payment of £160.

My car is only worth £700! Luckily I got it from a family member, so I know it's been well maintained and is in decent shape; there's a lot to be said for that if you're buying a cheap old car and you're not mechanically minded. I don't think England has a 'lemon law' on private sales, does it?

flowery · 21/10/2013 09:27

I find this difficult to comprehend tbh. This very generous offer would save you at least a couple of grand, quite possibly more.

You are in a financial position where you could probably scrape together a grand for a car, and you are thinking of turning down a couple of grand because you don't like the car you are being offered?

Take up her generous offer, make do with it as your first car for a year or two, as most people have to with their first and often subsequent cars. Use the year or two with no insurance costs to save up so you can buy a car you prefer in a year or two.

MardyBra · 21/10/2013 09:46

Haven't read the whole thread, but like you suspect, yabu.

I started off with some really uncool cars 30 years ago when I started driving. It's just a vehicle. Are you really that worried that people are going to judge you because you don't have a posh car?

And the difference between a petrol and diesel is so minimal that you should be able to get over it really quickly. It's a bit like grown women refusing to drive on motorways or at night. You might be a little nervous the first time, but JFDI. You'll be fine.

The height thing may be an issue in the long run, but people have put up with more inconvenience. Really.

MardyBra · 21/10/2013 09:48

Oh and I started this thread for you so you could see what lots of us had to start off with back in the old days when some of us lived in a paper bag in the street... Wink

WMittens · 21/10/2013 12:44

MardyBra

when some of us lived in a paper bag in the street.

Twattyzombiebollocks · 21/10/2013 13:19

I've driven loads of cars over the years, petrol and diesel alike. There is usually a big difference between the bite point on the clutch and the bite point (and responsiveness) of the accelerator between each car, regardless of whether petrol or diesel, so swapping between two different cars will mean you have a few days where you will have to adjust your driving style until the bite point on the new car becomes your "norm"
If you buy your own car for 1k you will have to compromise on style, size and age/mileage and will likely not get a larger car that's worth putting fuel in for the money you are talking about spending. If you need room for tools, put the back seats down and use the space. Ok so you are tall, well the sort of car you are talking about (supermini hatchback) are generally higher roof wise than the saloon equivalent just because of the shape of them. I'm 5ft 10 and have happily driven an old style micra and a c3 for several years, I just have to put the seat back a bit further to get my legs in under the steering wheel.
You do sound a bit spoiled and naive about cars, they are expensive to buy, expensive to maintain and run, and the Insurance as a new driver will be eye watering. My advice would be don't look a gift horse in the mouth, take the free car, use it for a year and then if you really can't get on with it, explain to your gran the issues and ask if she would mind if you part ex it for something a bit bigger, your insurance will be cheaper with a years no claims, you will have a nice px sum for your next car, its a win win situation really.

missuswife · 21/10/2013 13:29

Take the car. You will encounter maintenance costs with any car you buy, especially a £1000 one. I just spent $600 on new brakes, thermostat and a tune up and still have to get new tires next month for another $700-800. Plus fuel and insurance. Take it, you can always replace it later.

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