DH leaving 10 & 7 yr old in sweet shop while shopping

[anotherglass]

We live in smallish town where everyone is fairly friendly and there is only one high street where everyone shops. However, we are knew in the town so don't know many people.

Today, while out shopping, my DH left two DS 10 & 7 in a sweet shop while he walked to Sainsburys which is about 70 metres away. He arranged for them to meet him at Sainsbury once they had chosen their sweets.

I was slightly freaked out by this as though we have been talking about letting DS1 be more independent, by walking to local shop, we have never let them be unsupervised in this way.

I said he should not have let me be unsupervised in this way because:

1. Boys don't know our mobile numbers
2. Did not have a mobile phone
3. Area is very bustling
4. Had to cross a busy road to get to Sainsbury's
5. DH did not discuss this with me beforehand

DH says I am being over-protective because the boys walked to pre-arranged meeting point with their dad after the sweet shop, about 15 minutes later.

AIBU to think he took too many risks this afternoon and should have discussed with me beforehand?

Bowler one difference is that in the shop other people, especially adults, are all around. So if something bizarre or dangerous happens the odds are very high that local adults would manage the emergency (most people are good people). At home alone the 7yo or 10yo would have to cope by themselves.

I totally agree that MN is schizophrenic, though :).

It sounds fine to me.
Your 10 year old will go to secondary next year? and get the bus/cycle so its better to start getting him used to managing independent trips .
Your DH sounds quite sensible to me and is helping your DC to learn the skills they need.

Should be OK-well, it was!

But how sensible is the 7yr old & was the 10yr old expected to be responsible for him?

Apart from crossing the road, I think it's fine.

I make zillions of big decisions about the DC without consulting DH first, and would allow him the same respect. Sometimes I'm a bit but if the DC are still alive, I let it pass. (I'm more annoyed when DM lets the DC do things I wouldn't allow, but that's a different thread).

Your DH was not unreasonable.

At 10 and 7 I think you are being a little neurotic .

YANBU

Chipping and lljkk - both posts noted.

I do think MN varies in it's replies - whoever is around at the time makes a massive difference in the replies. It could vary day to day.

YABU, dd1, 8yrs (well9 tomorrow), and I were at the hairdressers today. She had finished and I was still being done so I let her walk home on her own, about a 5 min walk, 2 quiet roads to cross. I told her to ask dh to text me when she got there.

You're not just being unreasonable you are being totally ridiculous.

They can't walk 70 metres because they do not have a mobile phone???

Ffs I have actually heard it all now. And that's from someone who gets accused of being neurotic over leaving children alone at home on here frequently.

This is not just about a 10-year-old as I but the fact he was left in charge of his 7-year-old brother.

Despite all my efforts to instill traffic awareness, they do not have great road sense.

Bowlersarm - for me, the difference would lie in the fact that this was a populated area, that the children could have asked a shop assistant for help if they were unsure, that there would have been other people waiting to cross the road who the children could have copied if they weren't confident and that if they had obviously been in distress, then the chances are that someone would have helped them. At home, they are behind closed doors and in a familiar environment so much more likely to be off their guard/try to do something silly that is not normally allowed or similar, although personally I am not sure I would have completely ruled the idea out depending on the children and the circumstances.

I wouldn't have been happy if this was my 10yo and nearly 7 yo. The younger one would panic and I don't think it's fair to make the 10yo responsible for the younger one.

It's not unreasonable to expect to discuss with the other parent how you plan to introduce more independence, and how to coach the children to deal with unexpected problems.

I think that replies are different on a Saturday night. Not sure why.

I would let my 7 yr old do it with a 10 year old (and we live in London), slightly more nervous about a busy road but a 10 year old should absolutely be able to cross one.

My issue would be why a 10 yr old a year off going to secondary school can;t cross a road with a sibling safely.

And presumably they did do it safely.

Are you going to introduce the boys having SN in a minute??

why would a 7 year old panic at walking 70 yards down a street and crossing a road.

Was there a crossing or traffic lights for them to cross at?

Totally ridiculous for being concerned about my kids. I don't think so.

Another classic:

OP - AIBU

Majority of MN - Yes

OP - No, I'm not!

I think its fine have done the same with mine at that age. They didn't have mobiles as long as they know to go to the meeting place and stay there. I would make them memorize your mobile number is a good skill to have being able to remember phone numbers, especially when the reach teenage years and lose/forget to charge their phone and want to call you.

There were no traffic lights or pedestrian crossing at the road which is busy.

I let DS (7yrs) walk through a busy retail park today about 70 m with no roads to cross from the shop I was in to the cafe my mother was waiting for us in.

It made me nervous, but you have to start somewhere.

Surely 8/9year olds are going to the local shop if there is one without difficult roads to cross.

I was accused of being totally ridiculous. Bit different from being unreasonable.

Depends totally on the children and the road. If it was my 7yr old dd with her 10 yr old friend id trust them. At a shop a few metres away. Only you know your area and the kids though.

Yabu.

The 10 year old will be going to secondary school when he is 11.