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AIBU?

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Original poster

regarding MIL and DS's party

374 replies

catgirl1976 · 18/10/2013 14:35

MIL is a massive PITA in general. Total narcissist PITA. I could fill a whole board with tales of her shennanigans. However.........

DS is going to be 2 in a few weeks time. A big deal for me, he is my only PFB and this is the first birthday he will be really interactive IYSWIM. We are having a party for him at my DPs. Buffet, bouncy castle, music etc.

MIL lives 300 miles away and has only been to see DS once.

I asked her if she would like to come up for his birthday (more fool me but a) she is is GM and b) thought it might get me out of any Xmas obligations to go down to her.

She would love to.

She then decided she would come up on the train. The mainline station is a good 45 minutes drive away from my DP's so 1.5 hours round trip to get and get her.

Then she decided she would stay in a B&B in a near by town, rather than "put anybody out". Fair enough, but the 1.5 hour round trip now incorporates going to this town, getting her checked etc. So lets call it minimum 2 hours.

Then she decides, instead of coming up on the Friday, she will come up on the Saturday. On DS's actual birthday. I was not happy as obviously we will be doing things with him, getting ready for the party and enjoying the day so a 2 hour hole in that was annoying.

I told her the party was starting at half past two so she needed to be at the station for around 11am ideally.

She has texted me today to say she has got her tickets. ARRIVING AT 13:50.

So, DH will have to go and pick her up and miss DS's entire party? I don't fecking think so.

I am just so angry. I am certain it is deliberate.

I don't know whether to

a)change his party to the Sunday to accomodate her or

b) tell her to change her effing tickets or

c) tell her "That's fine but we won't be able to pick you up from XX at that time and you will have to get 2 connecting trains to where my parents live. Oh. And you will probably miss his party."

I am sorry that's long. I just want to scream

OP posts:
DorothyBastard · 20/10/2013 20:30

It's rotten. His family are never there for him

Actually his family are there for him as you and DS are his family now. She sounds... A bit of a handful? Well done both of you for standing your ground.

fluffyraggies · 20/10/2013 20:31

Well of course it's all about the party! HmmAngry

That's why she's coming over isn't it?? Lord.

SauvignonBlanche · 20/10/2013 20:32

She's actually just said she feels it's all revolving around DS's party

No! Shock

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 20/10/2013 20:34
Angry

DH has given her the option of getting an earlier train or getting a connecting train to near DMs.

She's crying and saying we don't want her there

DH is not giving in but I can tell this is upsetting him

OP posts:
fluffyraggies · 20/10/2013 20:34

There is something quite stupidly funny about any random sentence with the word bishop in it - yes Grin

Quality time with the bishop?

RandomMess · 20/10/2013 20:34

She's actually just said she feels it's all revolving around DS's party

That made me laugh out loud - OMG total narc

BooHissy · 20/10/2013 20:35

Ah, you see, this is why I said for him to leave it.

Sounds like he's fighting the good fight though.

COME ON MRCAT!

fluffyraggies · 20/10/2013 20:35

:(

Poor DH.

So hard for him not to engage in all this though.

KittiesInsane · 20/10/2013 20:35

Does he need the power of MN dictating handy phrases for him to use in return?

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 20/10/2013 20:36

She's going to think about the two options as they are both very, very hard for her.

Regardless, when she does arrive she will be disrupting DS's party and going on about how hard^ it has all been.

I am normally fairly resonable but if she ruins things for my gorgeous little PFB I will not be held responsible for where I shove a party sausage roll

OP posts:
Original poster
catgirl1976 · 20/10/2013 20:37

Ooh yes please Kitties Grin

Am so proud of him standing his ground

OP posts:
Strumpetron · 20/10/2013 20:37

Poor Mr Cat. Tell him the MNers have his back Wink

Strumpetron · 20/10/2013 20:38

Feck the sausage roll, I'd go for a cheese and pickle on a cocktail stick

CaptainSweatPants · 20/10/2013 20:39

Well done op's dh for sticking to his guns

And op have a well deserved medal for being the best updating op ever!!

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 20/10/2013 20:39

Spikey :)

OP posts:
Mckayz · 20/10/2013 20:39

Good on your DH!!

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 20/10/2013 20:40

It's winding up now

From the sounds of it she is going to have a think about whether it is too much trouble to come at all

Poor DH :(

OP posts:
BooHissy · 20/10/2013 20:41

I'd go for the whole fecking cheese and pineapple hedgehog!

Love, know know she'll ruin the party if she swoops in...

Something is going to have to be said, or it will be her last party invitation.

BooHissy · 20/10/2013 20:42

If she doesn't come, that's her decision.

Remember that?

edam · 20/10/2013 20:42

oh poor dh, that is rotten. What a cow to delight in making her son so miserable.

Well done that man though, would it cheer him up to know MNers are right behind both of you?

Ivanapoo · 20/10/2013 20:43

What a manipulative douchebag she is.

At this rate I'd probably tell her not to come...

olympicsrock · 20/10/2013 20:43

Come on Mr Cat we're all rooting for you!

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 20/10/2013 20:43

It would :)

I will tell him

As soon as he is off the phone he is getting a huge hug and a huge Wine and I will tell him MN were proud of him

OP posts:
petalsandstars · 20/10/2013 20:44

That may be a blessing in disguise - as at least you can both focus on having a good party without the extra stress you know would occur.

But Sad that MIL can't put anyone else first

Lots of Wine for you and MrCat

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 20/10/2013 20:45

Have just heard him say

"The only person making this difficult is you"

Am proud of him but sad for him

OP posts: