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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be concerned about my friend giving birth in the USA?

802 replies

YoniGetAnOohWithTyphoo · 17/10/2013 22:16

My friend 'P' got pregnant by an american citizen (unplanned, on holiday kind of thing...) anyway, cut a long story short: he has said that whilst he isn't interested in her (and much less in coming over to the UK to play happy families), he, and moreover his mother, seem very keen for P to come over and give birth in the US, all expenses paid.

Whilst this seems like a nice gesture on the face of it, i'm a bit worried. Notwithstanding the fact that P seems to honestly think she's gonna fly to the USA alone at about 35 weeks pregnant (don't they have rules about this sort of thing?) with all the suitcases in tow, if a baby is born in the USA i'm worried it will be an 'american citizen' and as such, won't just be allowed to fly back to the UK. Do any mumsnetters know about this?

I'm haven't said much yet because I don't want to hurt her feelings or scare her, I know at the end of the day it's her choice... but I can't help thinking she hasn't thought this through. What do you guys think?

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 09/02/2014 01:59

This reply has been deleted

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princessalbert · 09/02/2014 20:12

Good news.
Thanks for updating op.

paddyclampo · 09/02/2014 20:56

If the baby's father has said the mother can have full custody then she might not have to return. But surely that's not going to be the case after all the fuss he made? If he wants any sort of access she will have to return the the US. I know because it happened to my mum when she tried to bring us to England!

paddyclampo · 09/02/2014 20:57

Sorry if I've missed this but is she not just in the UK for a visit?

Runwayqueen · 09/02/2014 21:40

Such good news Smile

Thank you for updating us

SomewhatSilly · 09/02/2014 21:44

Great news.

DipMeInChocolate · 10/02/2014 22:23

That's goods news. I've been thinking a lot about this thread.

CarefullyAirbrushedPotato · 13/02/2014 15:14

are they really safe home then? I need the update. this tread was giving me nightmares!

Original poster
YoniGetAnOohWithTyphoo · 13/02/2014 16:06

Sorry I've been away for a while guys, (my own life has got a bit hectic lately) and thanks to my sister for updating you all (even though she is massively maligning me re: the hangover, I didn't even drink that night and was in bed by 11pm!).

P has not been telling me much and i'm beginning to wonder if this thread has been outed -or whether i'm just being paranoid. I asked her 3 weeks ago when she was coming back and got no reply (I was beginning to worry she was going to overstay her visa and that possibly play right into babydaddy's hands), but then her sister posted a picture on facebook of her holding the baby last week, so that's how I knew she was back. So I said 'I see you're back, how's things?' and she babbled a load of stuff about being jetlagged and rushed and that's why she didn't tell me (fair enough, could be true i suppose).

Like many of you, the next question is how long the baby can stay for. It is over here on a passport, not a visa. So I am guessing the baby will have to go back to the USA at some point. I asked her about it and surprise surprise, no reply. However, if babydaddy has let her come to the UK with the baby once, i'm taking this as a sign of good things to come for the future.

Thanks for everything guys, I really appreciate the hep and concern this thread has generated, in fact I am quite overwhelmed at how big it has become! I will try and keep you posted if and when P volunteers any information to me.

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 13/02/2014 17:08

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DCexpat · 13/02/2014 18:12

Would the UKBA really deport the baby?

kansasmum · 13/02/2014 18:24

My son was born in the US while we were living there. We all had British passports and visas but my son only had a US passport because we moved back to the UK when he was 5 weeks old and only had time yo get a US passport which was required for him to leave the country. Because I had a British passport there was no issue when he came I to the UK. They did ask if he was staying(!!!) and I just said yes and we will be getting him a British passport. He has a US birth certificate, US social security card and we never registered him with any British embassy although I know other expat families who had a baby in US did this.

My son is considered American by birth as he was born on US soil and British by descent - ie I am British. My Dh is British too but just cos your friends baby's father is American this doesn't mean the baby isn't a UK citizen. She should be able to get a UK passport for him.

RudolphtheRedknowsraindear · 13/02/2014 18:38

I'm so pleased for everyone - it's not often we get a Happy Ending, great news!

VegetariansTasteLikeChicken · 13/02/2014 18:56

My son was also born in the states came over on a US passport.. We were told we had 6 months (think it was 6 months) to sort out his British citizenship (because that's when his "visa" ran out.) The citizenship is just a formality though as he because dh is English he is automatically British by birth..just needs the passport to prove it!

But then I haven't got an American daddy back home..custody etc is whole nother thing

NatashaBee · 13/02/2014 19:23

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rightsaidfrederick · 13/02/2014 20:23

Blimey, I've just read [most of] this thread, and, erm, wow.

Just to check though, are you sure that the sister hasn't gone to visit P in the US, and took photos there? She's been a bit fast and loose with the truth in the past, so I'm not sure I'd trust her tales of jetlag...

mumminio · 13/02/2014 21:12

DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

We have a baby, born in Seattle. Recently tried to go up to Canada, just over the border.

Babies aren't allowed to leave the country unless they have a passport or you have the birth certificate plus consent from BOTH parents. To get a passport, BOTH parents have to turn up in person and sign the documents.

In other words, the baby will not be able to leave the country without daddy's explicit permission. Meanwhile, your friend doesn't have a work visa and will be forced to leave the country.

I am not a lawyer. But check it out first. Getting a lawyer now would probably be a waste of money. Call the embassy/commission first, and if they say it's not a problem, then get a lawyer to confirm.

Best bet would be to give birth in the UK. I feel awfully sorry for the child. The child should be entitled to a US passport and can visit when he's older.

NatashaBee · 13/02/2014 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sharaluck · 13/02/2014 21:26

I think it would be good for P to read this thread now that she is back. Just to wake her up a bit and then hopefully she will seek some legal advice so she has a clear picture of the situation.

mumminio · 13/02/2014 21:38

Oh thank goodness they are ok!! Very happy outcome :) Can't help but think that the friend has been a rather silly girl!

frugalfuzzpig · 13/02/2014 21:51

Only just read this thread. Glad to see the latest news... I just hope she can stay :(

Lalaloopsydaisy · 13/02/2014 22:09

Not followed this thread but I would be pretty cheesed off if someone was posting about me on mumsnet. No wonder she isn't talking to you.

brokenhearted55a · 13/02/2014 22:16

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Lighthousekeeping · 14/02/2014 09:05

I never really thought there was anything sinister either. They may have come to some arrangement that suits them both.

LuckyDayInHell · 14/02/2014 09:52

she has family etc and if she runs the risk of being deported so be it

Wow. You sound a dear, sweet thing that anybody would be lucky to have as a friend! Hmm

I think I would sooner be patronised by a worried friend than run the risk of losing my PFB.

Don't worry though lalaloopsy and Brokenhearted chances are nobody cares about you enough to voice concerns on Mumsnet or anywhere else. Wink

Glad everything is well with P Grin