to think the childminder should not be making arrangements with the school over my head?

[kawliga]

Here's the situation which is making me feel really angry: the childminder picks up a few children from different schools nearby. She has to park the car, walk to the school gate (not easy to park directly outside but sometimes she does this which is just wrong in itself) pick up DD, then do the same at some nearby schools. She doesn't really need to be doing it in a car but heyho. Anyway she waited for DD's teacher after school and told the teacher that she has to pick DD about 15 minutes or 20 minutes early from school (before the end of school) to give her time to get to the next school gate in time for the next DC to come out there. I am livid. There are so many things wrong with this situation I don't even know where to begin. I have never told the childminder not to approach DD's teacher to make arrangements about DD because I honestly never thought any childminder would consider this a reasonable thing to do. Surely that's always the role of the parent? AIBU? Obviously the teacher did not say she could do that (not even sure the teacher is authorised to do that, but I'm not sure since I would never try to pick up a child early just for my convenience who does that?? Is that acceptable in any way?

There IS harm in asking if a child can leave school every day 30 mins early! It's a crazy request, even if it's for you own child! OP feels uncomfortable because the CM has overstepped the mark and the school went along with it. That is worrying, not the end of the world but it is concerning.

YANBU, give yourself a break.

You were not to know that your CM was going to do this, and now that you now you are going to organise something more suitable for your dd.

Is there and after school or local,out of school club that might work for you?

As an aside, we were once looking for a new CM and I'd gone to meet a few. Imagine my surprise one morning when I took ds2 into nursery (he was in half days) one morning and his teacher as poked when he would be swapping to afternoons? I was flummoxed until I had a call from one of the CM's that I had met who sounded pleased as punch with herself that she's found out that it would ok for ds2 to swap to afternoon nursery so that he didn't miss out on any morning activities that she did [cross]. Needless to say, we did not choose her to look after our ds's.

Don't be embarrassed
Go in tomorrow & ask if there is any spaces at asc
Tell cm that you'll give notice if she can't pick up on time

Have more [tea] &
xxx

Oops [cuppa]

Gah!

Lila - no, there was no harm in the CM asking, other than making her look incredibly stupid, it did no damage. I'm not sure you have read the whole thread though, as you only seem to have picked up on one comment and taken it out of context. The school haven't 'gone along' with anything - what are you on about? It was 15/20 mins, not half an hour.

That a childminder would even think about requesting that is ridiculous!
To speak to the teacher before speaking to you is even more so!
There is no way any school that I know would agree to that, even with the parents! Even if it was just 5 minutes early! Or even 2! Just crazy - I've never heard anything like it (I've worked in schools for 14 years!)

I think it was probably sensible for your peace of mind to put it in writing to the school, and to be honest they will probably not think you're being unreasonable, and that the CM is loopy!

If you are going to do an apology gift though, can I suggest chocolates or biscuits for the staffroom just in case it's my school

Iwish - that's UTTERLY barking

Captain

I think there up is a major overreaction on here. Yes what she did was not good but nt a sackable offence! If she is otherwise a good CM, I would have just told her that I did not agree with her approaching dd teacher to pick her up early, tat she should have discussed this with me first and eave it at that.

Chipping you are right I do feel as if being a single parent is different, like I have to have more control over such things because there's no other parent watching dd's back? Just me. I feel like if I don't pay close attention next thing I know something will have happened. There's no other parent to catch any oversight on my part. I felt as if this was some kind of risk, that somebody can go into the school and make plans about dd like that. I don't mean that this CM is a risk, I mean the risk is the situation that the school could make plans over my head. Ugh, I'm not explaining that very well. Just agreeing with what you said about the deeper issue.

The school didn't make any plans over your head. They said no to her request.

You do need to calm down a bit. I know you're concerned for your child, we all are, but the school has not put your child at risk. By all means, write a letter stating that you have sole parental responsibility and that any changes to her schedule must be authorised through you, but that's already what the school has done. They're not going to take the word of a childminder without having something from the parent first. And no school is going to allow a child to miss any part of the school day every day without a damned good medically certified reason for doing so. It's just not going to happen.

Thanks Captain for all the different cups of tea

CM was massively disrespectful of the teacher suggesting that she should have her whole class disrupted half way through the last lesson of every day. (there is just no way it wouldn't have this effect). So I think you are completely safe from any risk that the school will be making arrangements over your head. She's just sold herself to the school as an inconsiderate loon.

so you can't take dc out of school for holidays but 2.5 hours per week for 33 weeks a year is over a week's education - how can she authorise that!

To be fair the cm asked the teacher - silly that she did though - no normal cm would suggest picking up early every day

But the teacher didn't give permission so try and stop worrying that cm has more authority then you

Cm obv has blatant disregard for the school and safety of children if parks on yellow lines and leaves children in the car alone

That should be reported to ofsted

Any reason why you won't use the after school club on a perm basis?

God, chipping, would you leave the op alone
It is not over reacting to feel unsettled by finding out your childminder had such a ridiculous notion at all ; never mind high handedly approaching the school without a word to you.
It makes you wonder what other nonsense may be yet to come.

floggingmolly - try reading the OP's posts and show me one where she has a problem with any of my posts - then you might have a point, until then I suggest you mind your own business about what I post, to the OP - not you.

Kawliga - No, your explanation was very clear. There isn't another parent to watch DD's back and that is hard, but you know what, there are other people in your DD's life that are watching out for her and that does include the school - they said 'No'. Try not to let it upset you anymore

The cm does not need reporting to ofsted. If she had taken the child early then yes maybe.

op how do you know she leaves the mindees in the car? Are they all school age?

Leaving mindees in the car is totally unacceptable unless the car is in her sight at all times.

This woman's methods are rather concerning.

She shouldn't be reported for asking to take a child early but someone will probably report her for leaving children in the car. This isn't a parenting judgement call. It's against the rules, pure and simple.

OP Yes do get a new CM. The problem here is not that she considered this earlier pick-up to be a viable solution to the problem which is the issue I think - the problem is that she has made unilateral decisions about how much schooling your child should receive, and took it upon herself to "rearrange" her school times with her teacher - without discussing this with you, the child's parent, first. And in fact she never did raise it with you did she? It was the school that did.
Then, when you raised this with her, she compounded this problem, by not taking your position seriously and failing to see that your desire as to how your child be schooled takes precedence over hers.
In a nutshell, you need to be able to be confident that all your CM's decisions regarding your child are aligned with what you would do. I'd be worried what other cockermamie capers she was up to.

yanbu get another minder asap she is being unprofessional

Kawliga - maybe the teacher looked unconcerned because there is no way that the school would agree to this request from the CM, so she didn't see it as a worrying problem, just as something you needed to know about.

And it really is a good thing that she told you. If the school and the CM were in the sort of cahoots that you are fearing, she wouldn't have bothered telling you, she would simply have released your child to the CM half an hour early every day. But she didn't - she told you, so you know that this is in the CM's mind, and you can now deal with it - as you have done, by emailing the school.

Take a step back, and look at things, and you will see that the school have acted in the best interests of your child, they have prioritised communicating with you about the CM's request, and you have been able to sort out the immediate issue, and will, I am sure make the best decisions going forward for your child's care. Apart from the CM's rather daft and thoughtless approach (and her frankly terrible idea of depriving your child of half an hour's education every day, for her own convenience) everyone in this situation has done the right thing.

WTAF??? that is shocking behaviour!! She's well overstepped the mark