to think the childminder should not be making arrangements with the school over my head?

[kawliga]

Here's the situation which is making me feel really angry: the childminder picks up a few children from different schools nearby. She has to park the car, walk to the school gate (not easy to park directly outside but sometimes she does this which is just wrong in itself) pick up DD, then do the same at some nearby schools. She doesn't really need to be doing it in a car but heyho. Anyway she waited for DD's teacher after school and told the teacher that she has to pick DD about 15 minutes or 20 minutes early from school (before the end of school) to give her time to get to the next school gate in time for the next DC to come out there. I am livid. There are so many things wrong with this situation I don't even know where to begin. I have never told the childminder not to approach DD's teacher to make arrangements about DD because I honestly never thought any childminder would consider this a reasonable thing to do. Surely that's always the role of the parent? AIBU? Obviously the teacher did not say she could do that (not even sure the teacher is authorised to do that, but I'm not sure since I would never try to pick up a child early just for my convenience who does that?? Is that acceptable in any way?

[thebody]

no school would. attendance stats are very important now.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Moldingsunbeams - I would be very surprised indeed if any school allowed a child to be taken out early every day by their parent (or with the parents' permission), and I cannot believe a school would allow a child to be taken out early every day just on the childminder's say-so!

[halcyondays]

yanbu, it should have been pretty obvious to her that she wasn't going to be able to pick them all up at the right times, so she shouldn't have agreed to collect children from another school if it didn't fit in with the arrangements for the kids she was already minding.

she didnt tell you about it because of course nobody would be happy with their child being picked up 20 mins early every day. I'm sure the school would take a very dim view of a child leaving early every day unless there were really exceptional circumstances.

[thebody]

I ran a childminding setting and i obviously only took on school runs/nursery runs I could cope with safely so children were dropped off/ picked up in time with no rushing.

it cms be hard to say no to parents and some have no idea just how organised you need to be with a group of children BUT that's the job. safety comes first of course.

totally unacceptable and as a TA now I can assure you she is very wrong and EVERY minute of the school day is important.

I would also worry that she was rushing from school to school which might compromise children's safety and well being.

get rid. she's either a cynical money grabber or disorganised.

both are unacceptable and unprofessional.

[PresidentServalan]

WTAF??? that is shocking behaviour!! She's well overstepped the mark

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Kawliga - maybe the teacher looked unconcerned because there is no way that the school would agree to this request from the CM, so she didn't see it as a worrying problem, just as something you needed to know about.

And it really is a good thing that she told you. If the school and the CM were in the sort of cahoots that you are fearing, she wouldn't have bothered telling you, she would simply have released your child to the CM half an hour early every day. But she didn't - she told you, so you know that this is in the CM's mind, and you can now deal with it - as you have done, by emailing the school.

Take a step back, and look at things, and you will see that the school have acted in the best interests of your child, they have prioritised communicating with you about the CM's request, and you have been able to sort out the immediate issue, and will, I am sure make the best decisions going forward for your child's care. Apart from the CM's rather daft and thoughtless approach (and her frankly terrible idea of depriving your child of half an hour's education every day, for her own convenience) everyone in this situation has done the right thing.

[mrsjay]

yanbu get another minder asap she is being unprofessional

[OnIlkelyMoorBahtat]

OP Yes do get a new CM. The problem here is not that she considered this earlier pick-up to be a viable solution to the problem which is the issue I think - the problem is that she has made unilateral decisions about how much schooling your child should receive, and took it upon herself to "rearrange" her school times with her teacher - without discussing this with you, the child's parent, first. And in fact she never did raise it with you did she? It was the school that did.
Then, when you raised this with her, she compounded this problem, by not taking your position seriously and failing to see that your desire as to how your child be schooled takes precedence over hers.
In a nutshell, you need to be able to be confident that all your CM's decisions regarding your child are aligned with what you would do. I'd be worried what other cockermamie capers she was up to.

[Goldmandra]

Leaving mindees in the car is totally unacceptable unless the car is in her sight at all times.

This woman's methods are rather concerning.

She shouldn't be reported for asking to take a child early but someone will probably report her for leaving children in the car. This isn't a parenting judgement call. It's against the rules, pure and simple.

[tinyturtletim]

The cm does not need reporting to ofsted. If she had taken the child early then yes maybe.

op how do you know she leaves the mindees in the car? Are they all school age?

[ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee]

Kawliga - No, your explanation was very clear. There isn't another parent to watch DD's back and that is hard, but you know what, there are other people in your DD's life that are watching out for her and that does include the school - they said 'No'. Try not to let it upset you anymore

[ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee]

floggingmolly - try reading the OP's posts and show me one where she has a problem with any of my posts - then you might have a point, until then I suggest you mind your own business about what I post, to the OP - not you.

[Floggingmolly]

God, chipping, would you leave the op alone
It is not over reacting to feel unsettled by finding out your childminder had such a ridiculous notion at all ; never mind high handedly approaching the school without a word to you.
It makes you wonder what other nonsense may be yet to come.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

To be fair the cm asked the teacher - silly that she did though - no normal cm would suggest picking up early every day

But the teacher didn't give permission so try and stop worrying that cm has more authority then you

Cm obv has blatant disregard for the school and safety of children if parks on yellow lines and leaves children in the car alone

That should be reported to ofsted

Any reason why you won't use the after school club on a perm basis?

[maddening]

so you can't take dc out of school for holidays but 2.5 hours per week for 33 weeks a year is over a week's education - how can she authorise that!

[cory]

CM was massively disrespectful of the teacher suggesting that she should have her whole class disrupted half way through the last lesson of every day. (there is just no way it wouldn't have this effect). So I think you are completely safe from any risk that the school will be making arrangements over your head. She's just sold herself to the school as an inconsiderate loon.

[kawliga]

Thanks Captain for all the different cups of tea

[MidniteScribbler]

The school didn't make any plans over your head. They said no to her request.

You do need to calm down a bit. I know you're concerned for your child, we all are, but the school has not put your child at risk. By all means, write a letter stating that you have sole parental responsibility and that any changes to her schedule must be authorised through you, but that's already what the school has done. They're not going to take the word of a childminder without having something from the parent first. And no school is going to allow a child to miss any part of the school day every day without a damned good medically certified reason for doing so. It's just not going to happen.

[kawliga]

Chipping you are right I do feel as if being a single parent is different, like I have to have more control over such things because there's no other parent watching dd's back? Just me. I feel like if I don't pay close attention next thing I know something will have happened. There's no other parent to catch any oversight on my part. I felt as if this was some kind of risk, that somebody can go into the school and make plans about dd like that. I don't mean that this CM is a risk, I mean the risk is the situation that the school could make plans over my head. Ugh, I'm not explaining that very well. Just agreeing with what you said about the deeper issue.

[pigletmania]

I think there up is a major overreaction on here. Yes what she did was not good but nt a sackable offence! If she is otherwise a good CM, I would have just told her that I did not agree with her approaching dd teacher to pick her up early, tat she should have discussed this with me first and eave it at that.

[ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee]

Iwish - that's UTTERLY barking

Captain

[HesMyLobster]

That a childminder would even think about requesting that is ridiculous!
To speak to the teacher before speaking to you is even more so!
There is no way any school that I know would agree to that, even with the parents! Even if it was just 5 minutes early! Or even 2! Just crazy - I've never heard anything like it (I've worked in schools for 14 years!)

I think it was probably sensible for your peace of mind to put it in writing to the school, and to be honest they will probably not think you're being unreasonable, and that the CM is loopy!

If you are going to do an apology gift though, can I suggest chocolates or biscuits for the staffroom just in case it's my school

[CaptainSweatPants]

[ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee]

Lila - no, there was no harm in the CM asking, other than making her look incredibly stupid, it did no damage. I'm not sure you have read the whole thread though, as you only seem to have picked up on one comment and taken it out of context. The school haven't 'gone along' with anything - what are you on about? It was 15/20 mins, not half an hour.