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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fucked off that parents not vaccinating their child is risking my childs life?

347 replies

TheGlovesAreOrf · 15/10/2013 20:51

I never judged them before. I never cared, if they chose not to vaccinate their child I always thought it was their choice and its not for me to have an opinion.
I never used to give it much more thought that that. I vaccinate mu children and what others do with theirs is none of my business.

Until I have a child who's immune system is often (but not always, steroid use) compramised. He is more likely to pick up bugs, and not deal with them very well.

He is also allergic to many things. I know tha egg allergy isnt usually an issue, but the MMR is cultivated on egg albumin. He is allergic to egg (anaphylactic) chicken meat, and feathers. The whole caboodle. Im pretty sure his tiny body wont like egg albumin either.

He's due to have this vaccine very very soon in hospital and Im absolutely shitting myself. Every time I remember it my stomach drops and my heart races.

Im genuinely thinking, what if he dies?

I cant get the vaccines done individually because the private clinics wont touch me with a barge pole.

I cant risk leaving it (Ive left it 18 months so far) because the area I live in has a very low MMR rate.

And that really, really angers me. Probably irrationally so.

I should be able to leave it. My son should be protected by societies use of the MMR.

Instead I either have to risk him getting an illness, or risk giving him this injection.

As if he hasnt been enough already.

I know IABU, but I just feel very resentful and angry towards those who choose not to vaccine right now.

More than prepared to be flamed for this.

OP posts:
FortyDoorsToNowhere · 15/10/2013 22:39

I read some where that MMR contains gelatine so people who lead a vegan diet will not vaccinate due to that reason.

bumbleymummy · 15/10/2013 22:39

Some GPs will bring in the single measles vaccine for a named patient. Have you approached any private clinics? There is an egg-free measles vaccine available so I'm not sure why you think they would turn you away.

Alisvolatpropiis · 15/10/2013 22:42

Forty I have read that too. I struggle to support non vaccination based on life style choices the parents have made given it could well risk their child's health.

Original poster
TheGlovesAreOrf · 15/10/2013 22:42

Bowler yes it was, wasnt it?

I havent been rude to anyone else.

But then, no one but cote has been rude to me. Repetatively.

OP posts:
dementedma · 15/10/2013 22:43

I agree with cote
My child, my choice.

Original poster
TheGlovesAreOrf · 15/10/2013 22:44

there is an egg free measles vaccine

Really? Ive asked countless GP's and paeditricians, they all say the same thing, they simply arent available on the NHS....

OP posts:
Original poster
TheGlovesAreOrf · 15/10/2013 22:44

How do I find out for sure that it is? We are seeing them on wednesday.....

OP posts:
bumbleymummy · 15/10/2013 22:46

Just on another note - most people don't realise that their child is at risk from having the vaccine until after they've had the vaccine and had a reaction so saying that people should have it unless they know it is contraindicated for their child doesn't really make sense. It would be nice if we could determine the children who are more likely to have a reaction but at the moment you are telling people that they should all take a risk so your child doesn't have to. I think that's a bit unreasonable.

CoteDAzur · 15/10/2013 22:48

"I think healthy children not at risk should be vaccinated to protect those at risk."

And I said that is an ethically indefensible position: Arguing that a tiny baby should take a risk (albeit very small) for the sake of someone else.

I am sorry for your DS, but YABU to think you can tell parents of the world what to do about their DC's healthcare.

AgadorSpartacus · 15/10/2013 22:48

The OP isn't actually telling anybody anything though isshe?

Talk about running with the bloody ball.

She is venting on here and desperately wishing it was different for the sake of her child.

Let's not let a bit of empathy (and actually reading the words) (all of them) get in the way of good snarl.

bumbleymummy · 15/10/2013 22:50

Try the private clinics. I'm not sure where you are in the country but there's bound to be one near you. It's the SII vaccine that is egg free rather than Rouvax (the other single measles vaccine). I've been told that GPs can bring them in for individual patients but I'm guessing that they don't advertise it too readily!

AgadorSpartacus · 15/10/2013 22:50

Who are these parents of the world she's telling?

Exaggeration.

Bogeyface · 15/10/2013 22:50

I can understand your anger, the whole point of the immunisation program was to provide herd immunity that protected those that couldnt have the injections. My DD reacted so badly to her first ever injection that we were told she should not have any more. My other children have had their administered by doctors (and none of them have had MMR) and all have had bad (although not as bad) reactions. For that reason, my youngest hasnt had any. We are lucky we have 93% take up here which is only 2% off herd immunity in the Polio/Diptheria etc one.

But the MMR is below 80% and now we have to find a way to get DD immunised against Ruebella. My SIL has a profound disability because MIL got Ruebella during her pregnancy so I am terrified for DD. She almost died of Chicken Pox too, so the thought of what could happen to her if she got measles etc, well I cant think about it.

BUt....we do live in a country where these things are not a legal requirement and I have to accept that yes, some people are selfish and lazy and we have to find workarounds for that.

Original poster
TheGlovesAreOrf · 15/10/2013 22:50

I am absolutely not arguing that a tiny baby should be vaccinated.

They arent vaccinated until 14 months (or there abouts) if all healthy children (although I get your point there bumble) got vaccinated, the children at risk and the babies (as I mentioned above) would be at much, much less risk. Eventually the diseases would hopefully be eradicated altogether.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheGlovesAreOrf · 15/10/2013 22:51

Bumble please, please read my posts. Or even my OP. Ive tried private clinics.

OP posts:
AnaisHellWitch · 15/10/2013 22:52

Absolutely. DS had a very bad reaction (D&V for weeks, couldn't keep water down, permanent bowel damage) but at the time we didn't know enough about autism to realise that he was autistic and at risk.

Second MMR was delayed a year or two. I would be wary of giving it so early (if at all) to another DC with DS' traits.

Good luck finding a way to keep your child safe, OP. I know how worrying it must be.

Original poster
TheGlovesAreOrf · 15/10/2013 22:53

Argh sorry bumble its ME who should read YOUR posts properly!

I whole heartedly apologise! I will ask the hospital again. And ring the private practice that I havent tried.

OP posts:
bumbleymummy · 15/10/2013 22:53

Bogeyface, there is a single rubella vaccine available. Might be worth having a blood test though. I'm not sure how old your DD is but rubella is very mild and she may have already had it without you knowing what it was.

Bogeyface · 15/10/2013 22:58

THanks BUmble I know but my worry is that (like the OP) a private clinic wont want to do it for the risk of a major reaction. Tbh I would probably rather she had it in an NHS hospital as there are more specialists on the the premises than in a private clinic.

Will get her the blood test. She had her cervical cancer jabs ok (but dont get me started on the school nurse who insisted if she didnt have them at school she wouldnt get them at all........Angry)

bumbleymummy · 15/10/2013 22:59

That's ok gloves - lots of posting going on! I hope you can track one down. They seem to be quite widely available and I know a few people who decided to get them for their children even though they had much milder egg allergies than your little boy seems to have! If you can track one down then your GP/paediatrician might agree to administer it for you. Could be tricky though Confused

bumbleymummy · 15/10/2013 23:01

That's awful bogey. :-/

ArgyMargy · 15/10/2013 23:02

YABU. You can't make the world revolve around you and your own particular circumstances. Although of course you are entitled to be cross about it.

CoteDAzur · 15/10/2013 23:04

"What right do these people have to not to vaccinate their healthy children so that these diseases can eradicated?"

(1) It is almost impossible to eradicate a disease through a voluntary vaccination program

(2) Parents have all the right not to vaccinate their children.

Bogeyface · 15/10/2013 23:04

Stupid cow! She scared DD stupid after DD gave her the letter that I had written explaining that yes of course we wanted her to have it (I was having 6 monthly smears at the time due to nasty cells, so of course I did!). She said that DD must have it at school at the GP wasnt allowed to give it to her!

It took a very snotty letter from me followed by a phone call to the deputy head saying that if they were happy to accept the responsibilty of DD having a major seizure in their care, when they knew the risks, then of course she could have it at school.

They werent that keen........funny that Hmm

80sMum · 15/10/2013 23:05

I'm another oldie who, along with my sisters and pretty well every child in my school (and every other school, for that matter) caught measles, mumps, rubella and chickenpox in early childhood. We had all had all of them by the age of 10.
My mother had managed to escape mumps as a child, but she caught it from my sister and me. My sister agotnd I got better within days; my mother got worse. Complications set in and she then had encephalitis, which resulted in a six-week stay in isolation hospital and very nearly killed her.
So, I agree that these diseases are far more dangerous for adults than for children.