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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think if DH needs to get up early sleep in the spare room?

102 replies

RigglinJigglin · 15/10/2013 06:39

Currently rageful so am posting here to see if I'm am.

DH travels for work, quite often leaving early or home late. This morning he had to be on the road for 5.30am. His alarm (which was like a siren in our room) went off at 5am waking our 5month old and me.

Cue baby screaming and me being on the point of tears. I've had weeks of shitty sleep due to baby having a cold and then me having a cold, and the 4month sleep regression being like hell on wheels. I am frigging tired. And he's not home til Thursday now.

AIBU in asking DH to sleep in the spare room on future nights / mornings? Saving all our our sanity. He seems to think so Hmm

OP posts:
livinginwonderland · 15/10/2013 06:41

YABU. Just tell him to put his alarm on vibrate and keep it under his pillow, and then to get dressed/changed in the spare room. I don't think he should be kicked out of his bed because of a 5am start.

PrimalLass · 15/10/2013 06:43

YANBU. He should of course do that. Or could you move you and the baby?

KatAndKit · 15/10/2013 06:43

No you are not being unreasonable especially if you have a baby in the room with you. Even if baby is in own room, waking you up at 5 when you have been doing the night wakings is not considerate. Spare room if getting up before six, and use nice pleasant quiet phone alarm not a siren

Bowlersarm · 15/10/2013 06:44

It seems quite cold heated sending your partner off to the spare room simply because he has to fulfil his working role. Try and get him to lower the sound of his alarm.

ArabellaBeaumaris · 15/10/2013 06:45

YANBU. Not like he's being kicked out permanently, & the baby in the room makes a big difference.

stillenacht · 15/10/2013 06:47

Yanbu

Urgh i would be pissed off too!

Finola1step · 15/10/2013 06:49

We sometimes do it esp if I have an early start. Sleep is vv important. YANBU. Sleeping apart every now and then will do no harm.

schnockles · 15/10/2013 06:50

YANBU. If he's anything like my DH a vibrate or pleasant tinkly alarm won't wake him, just me instead! Yes it's a bit crap but seeing as your baby will be in their own room soon (hopefully!) this is only temporary.

Littlefish · 15/10/2013 06:51

YANBU. DH always sleeps in the spare room if he is getting up before me. I get up earlier than him most days (6.00am), and absolutely hate being woken up any earlier. Twice a month he gets up at 5am and packs off to the spare room the night before so he doesn't disturb me.

GertBySea · 15/10/2013 06:53

I get my DH to do this if he is getting up at 445 for a flight as he does every few weeks. It just makes it a bit easier for everyone. Also he can put the light on to get ready which he prefers.

For us it just helps a little. It's not a sign of impending doom.

froubylou · 15/10/2013 06:54

My DPs alarm goes off at 5am every morning. I say his but it's actually the alarm on my phone so on my side of the bed. I have the luxury of turning back over and sleeping in while 7am whilst he gets to go to work.

Sorry but yabu. I'm 31 wks pg with dc 2 who will be in with us and all I have said is that he will have to get his clothes out the night before and get ready in the bathroom.

Turn the volume down on his alarm and appreciate the opportunity to turn over and go back to sleep.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 15/10/2013 07:02

YANBU. When I was on bastard o'clock starts and DW was SAHM, I slept in the spare room.

Depriving someone of sleep when you don't have to is a cunt's trick.

mumblechum1 · 15/10/2013 07:02

Same here this morning, dh has to be in London for a 7.30 meeting, so was up at 6. I woke up even tho' didn't hear his vibrating alarm.

I'm pissed off purely at his prat of a boss for calling a meeting so ridiculously early. His boss has a car and driver on permanent call so doesn't have to worry about falling asleep on the M4 tonight on the way home Angry

WaitingForMe · 15/10/2013 07:03

YANBU. The first rule is that you do not wake the baby!

DragonMamma · 15/10/2013 07:06

DH used to get up at 4.30 for work, he had to put his phone under the pillow and sneak downstairs to get ready. He even had to brush his teeth downstairs. Worked for us.

Hooleywhipper · 15/10/2013 07:08

YANBU.

waikikamookau · 15/10/2013 07:09

but you can go back to sleep?

Original poster
RigglinJigglin · 15/10/2013 07:10

Thanks all, feeling a bit less murderous after a mug of tea.

Ill try the vibrate alarm first. If that fails or doesn't wake him I like the idea of get up before 6am spare room for one of us. I can cope with a 6am get up, but 5am felt like I'd been mauled by a bear.

I'm very aware that when he's driving he needs a good nights sleep so I'm happy to camp out in the spare room.

Baby is finally back to sleep after crying for an hour so I'm going to enjoy the quiet.

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 15/10/2013 07:12

If either of us need to get up early we go into the spare room and with a baby it's a no brainer!

schnockles · 15/10/2013 07:12

But froubylou she can't turn over and go back to sleep. The OP's DH's alarm is so loud it is like a 'siren' and wakes their five month old who still sleeps in their bedroom.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 15/10/2013 07:15

NONONONO!

No.

He goes in the spare room, you stay in the big bed. Did Emily Davison die for nothing?

MinesAPintOfTea · 15/10/2013 07:17

Yanbu dh starts with us bit he has a quiet alarm that he silences quickly I'm the one who only wakes for a sieran so that's not a problem here. Waking everyone up when he has an unusually early start isn't on.

PeepingTomcat · 15/10/2013 07:18

'Turn the volume down on his alarm and appreciate the opportunity to turn over and go back to sleep.'

How exactly could OP do this with a crying 5mo??

OP YANBU

Ledkr · 15/10/2013 07:19

My dh dies thus without asking, and he often goes in there after a late shift.
We have only just started getting regular nights sleep due to dd2 and I'm also a terrible sleeper and also better fir him not to be woken by me when I get up at 7.
It's not ideal no but better we all get some decent sleep.

RevelsRoulette · 15/10/2013 07:21

I would. It's only sleeping arrangements. It seems practical to me. Its not a measure of love, just a way of making sure that everyone grabs all the sleep they can.

People who are not knackered are happier, leading to happier families. The odd night kipping in another room for practical reasons seems totally logical to me.

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