to not know where I have gone wrong with my children. I am a miserable failure..........

[AtYourCervix]

Daughter no1 has decided to be completely normal after all and managed to get caught by the police drinking cider in the park.

Daughter no2 has just admitted to not wearing a bra to church.

I'm just going to drink a lot of red wine and accept my shortcomings.

Not wearing a bra to church?! What a delinquent!

Is that a stealth boast AtYourCervix? Unless DD1 is 3 and DD2 has baps like mine (i.e. can tie them in a bow) I'd say you got off lightly!

Have they had love bites yet?

My son looked like he'd been bitten by a wild animal - I could hardly believe it when he brought home a very demure girl who looked like butter wouldn't melt.

shocking behaviour.

I blame myself.

It could be worse. Your dd could have been drinking cider in church whilst not wearing a bra.

Not wearing a bra to church? Ooh, the little rebel!

You have to leave MN. Right now. I cannot associate with such a mother.

::points towards door::

Is there an underwear dress code at the church?

shit Tee really? is it that bad?

I feel faint at the thought of this atrocious behaviour.

disclaimer.........

I've spent the last 15 years trying to hep DD2 fit in. i'm secretly relieved and massively proud of her. while on the outrside shaking my head and saying sadly 'i'm very disappointed in you'.

DD1 however is beyond redemption.

I think your girls are a bit 'odd'. They aren't behaving badly enough!

You need to train your dd1 with vodka. Cider is for 13 year olds.

I've managed to get the Ds the wrong way around.

DD2 was caught by the police ( not even drining as she doesn't)

DD1 was bra-less.

i'm an even worse parent for forgetting which D was which.

The issue, Cervix, is that it was cider. Everyone knows you drink lager in the park.

No manners, kids these days.

in my day it was lager.

It was stella pear cidre if that helps?

Well, that's slightly better.

Now, the braless one...

We drank Cinzano in the park in the 70s.

I blame Joan Collins.

Unless she was taking part in No Bra Day, which was today?

I drank cider in loads of places when I was a teenager. I turned out ok. Oh, and I was once sick in church.

she has decided that every sunday is no bra day.

but being the size and shape of a twig it isn't really noticeable.

Could be worse.

My dd admitted to me today there had been a big fight among her group of friends yesterday because some of them were drinking cider at the beach park in the afternoon in front of families and she poured the cider out.

And lectured them.

Well, if she has no breasts, fair enough.

Perhaps a camisole?

Nah., deffo was cider or mad dog20/20 in the park. Nowt else was acceptable.

Pear cider would have got you ostracised I'm afraid.

Lager was for the bus shelter and train station

Everyone know that