To be upset about my wedding venue?

[IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow]

Name changed
Basically have a tiny budget. We were going to cut our guest list but we don't want to. We love everyone on it.
Have been offered The British Legion as a venue for free. Best man works evenings there.
We have decided to take it so we can afford to give everyone a nice time. Its bloody ugly inside. Has lovely big field though/n pretty outside etc.
I know I chose this, and I am not wanting to save up for few years as I just want to marry dp and have all our friends and family there. And would be stupid to not accept such a generous offer.
Just venting I guess... and wondering what to do about the fading carpet, chipped paint, arcade machine...

Did you decide on whether to have organist/choir/cd in the end? As if it's a saturday I'm sure you could pull together an MN scratch choir for free (I would sing and I'm miles away!) I added to the church choir (which I sang in anyway) with friends from another choir, the church was fine with that and it was great! Also padded out the 90 year olds a little...

There is also a facebook group called "Need choral singers" where you can post choir requirements - if you explained the situation I'm sure you'd get some response, even though most of the posts on there are for paid events.

Also I think we paid £500 total for church, choir, organist, bells etc 1 year ago so hope your church costs aren't as much as originally thought now you've spoken to the vicar.

I think your wedding sounds fab, whether chip van or ploughmans. I love the cake + recipe idea and wish I'd stolen that for my hen do! My hen was afternoon tea, drinks in town and a sleepover - very cheap as everyone paid for their own tea and drinks!

AnnaBegins I did start a thread asking about choir. See here

So thought probably cd at that time. Having spoke to the reverend, I'm not sure she is keen. So not sure really. Probably pay out for organist.

Will check out the facebook group.

We did tell the reverend about budget wedding etc, no offer of price change though & didn't want to ask.

Thank you, I think its fab now too. Your hen night sounds great fun!

Ah, having read your choir thread it doesn't seem as enthusiastic as I'd thought! In which case, ask if you can chat to the organist. Ask them about hymn recommendations, entrance and exit music (needs to be smething they are comfortable playing, and besides they usually have lots of knowledge and awesome recommendations), and then smile sweetly and ask if they have something nice they could play during the register signing. That way, you only pay approx £80 for music, they accompany all the hymns and your guests sing loudly, and you get register signing music all in one.

I know organists can vary from church to church, but most have been doing this for years and can be really reassuring and take the stress out of choosing music. And you don't have to worry about the cd player breaking or playing the wrong track!

(P.S. I wish I'd been in these choirs where people got paid £10 per wedding. I used to get 2 shiny pound coins!)

Yes, I don't think my choir thread went down to well.

I think it will have to be the organist. It is expensive though. Takes about a third of our budget alongside the church.

Thank you for all the advice

Where are you, OP?

WeAreSix I live in Kent. Wedding is in Surrey (recently moved from there)

I'm just wondering if I can help at all. The brooch bouquets can work out pricey, but a flower bouquet can be done for less than £10 - I've just done one for a friend with roses from Tesco. I also make tiaras... But I'm in Sussex!! And you might not want either, anyway :)

Thank you WeAreSix

I have already another lovely offer to make a tiara, however your help with getting together a bouquet would be much appreciated.

Being in Sussex though, I guess its too far.

Depends how close you are to the border? The M23 isn't that long :)

Are you still after a dress for your DD? Did I read that somewhere? it's a long thread

Yes it is a long thread

The wedding is pretty much on the border of Kent/ Sussex. IYSWIM

Havn't found a flower girl dress yet.

I think your wedding sounds like it will be absolutely lovely, but then I would, because it sounds quite similar to mine! I got married this summer in kent, in quite a plain village hall, on a shoestring budget but for us, and what was important to us, it was perfect. We had a home made picnic during the day with a hamper for each family and homemade lemonade. We sat at trestle tables in a marquee and had games on the lawn outside and had a hog roast in the evening. I made jam and chutney for favours. I've got loads of bits and pieces still, miles of pretty bunting my mum made, cake stands, big lemonade dispenser thing, various decorations we used in the hall. I'd be happy to lend you anything you think you could use, in fact it'd be really nice to see some of it used again. Let me know if you're interested.

lozzando Your wedding sounds perfect. How romantic! I adore picnics.

Oh, I would be so interested in using some of your lovely wedding pieces. Lemonade dispenser would be fab! Thank you lots However, I would too be worried about any accidents happening.

AnnaBegins I have searched for the facebook choir singer page, can't find it. Could it be called something else?

Back to the afternoon tea at the church, and the suggestion upthread to do a bake off type thing.. I'm re debating whether to just do it? Ask guests to bring cakes/ brownies/ muffins etc?

It is actually quite a nice idea I think.

Depends if your friends are bakers. I and certain of my friends would go SQUEEEEEE and bring several things each. Others would panic and bring Mr Kipling, guiltily or resentfully.

Mr Kipling is ok though! Do you think? Hopefully not resentfully.

I do like a Mr Kipling Country Slice. It's whether you think they'd feel they were shown up by bringing bought rather than made. Would need some tactful wording, that's all.

Well I hope its ok? I did skim though. Just saw the bringing food/sex food fiasco!

Need to re read the whole thing with my notebook again I think.

Cross post. Sorry Horatia I couldnt find the original conversation we had about bringing cakes etc. Was it generally as your saying now? 'Could do it, just realise that people might not feel comfortable'.?

How do you think to word it?

I'm buggered if I can remember Haven't you been writing this down? I know I came up with the UTTERLY GENIUS idea of getting people to paste their recipes into the guest book instead of just the signatures

I think there was discord about whether it was reasonable to ask people to bring cake - IIRC it was a mixture of logistics and ability. Inviting specific people to bring things who are keen bakers is I think safer, or having a line on the wedding list that said "bring a cake to the reception" as an option. I'm pretty sure that was considered acceptable. But that was, like, weeks ago

I did go back through in the first couple of weeks and jot things dow. Will be re doing that tomorrow to catch up!

I remember the recipe guest book. We are doing this- its a fab idea.

yes, I think your right. I have been looking at the group in Horley that I got linked to as well. They have beautiful cakes and perhaps I will get in touch.

Maybe the best thing to do is ask a few people at random if they would consider the whole bring a cake. Or perhaps be a bit of fun.. Like an actual bake off ?

Mini 'prize' with speeches later on?

So I've asked around a few of my friends and the answer seems to be a yes, bring a cake is a great idea!

OK, just to check things off.

Outfits
Cars Ask someone to borrow. Put white ribbon on
Flowers Brooch bouquet
Decorations Tea lights, bunting, jam jars, fairy lights etc
Rings
Food Afternoon tea, either fish & chips or most likely ploughmans
Reception Music
Ceremony Music
Photography Website for guests to upload
Order of service Kindly made for me
Invites See above
Cake Cheese cake from the link up thread. Bake off too
Hotel Night
Welcome drinks Prosecco at afternoon tea
Hair/makeup

Is that about all?

Um, wedding dress...?

Sorry, I've now seen "outfits" which my brain initially assumed meant the DCs' outfits.

Horiatia

Is that about everything thing?