To be upset about my wedding venue?

[IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow]

Name changed
Basically have a tiny budget. We were going to cut our guest list but we don't want to. We love everyone on it.
Have been offered The British Legion as a venue for free. Best man works evenings there.
We have decided to take it so we can afford to give everyone a nice time. Its bloody ugly inside. Has lovely big field though/n pretty outside etc.
I know I chose this, and I am not wanting to save up for few years as I just want to marry dp and have all our friends and family there. And would be stupid to not accept such a generous offer.
Just venting I guess... and wondering what to do about the fading carpet, chipped paint, arcade machine...

Shoes
New bra/? Knickers or do a pippa
Buttonholes for men, not formal ones,
Going away outfit
Small pressies for your little ones, to help them enjoy the day, and something for your Ds,
Black bin bags for clearing up afterwards
Check butler and China and teapots at BL
Maps for invite for the incompetent
Cd for church
Check collection plate for church as churches are always hard up
Napkins for cake
Can't see as on phone, but rings
Check who is going to give great aunt Mary a lift,
Loadsa white ribbon, balloons,
Are there going to be other children as well as yours? In which case get some paper and crayons and a ball or two
Confirmation from church and BL that you can have the premises for that time, that day, for how long.
Rehearsal and discovery of where everything is.
Blutack and selotape and drawing pins
Vases for flowers.
Table cloths or sheets

You and DP.

Butler? Cutlery

Found these in the sale and wondered what people thought?

Also thought I'd post it because I know some people have been looking through this thread for ideas.

They are only the white gold rings. All other rings in sale here

Mens sale here

Cross posts

anchient I havn't even scratched the surface of stuff needed/ thing to do, have I?

Did wonder why I needed a butler

Ok so going through that list. Yy to new underwear.

Look for non formal buttonholes
Going away outfit, I have a nice dress.
What sort of presents for DC?
Agree with the maps. Personal bugbear involving us being totally lost on way to another wedding
Find cd for church

Organise lifts for people
Yes, I think about half our guests are children

Plus all the other bits to pull the day together.

I think the trick might be to get your ushers, bridesmaids and the best man together and give them all a small thing to be responsible for.
Examples

• ushers can take cake from guests, put on the table and go round with rubbish bags tifying up.
• Put the best man in charge of transport (you if possible, plus getting decorations etc to the venues).
• Get the bridesmaids/friends to help with tea light holders, lighting, bunting
• OH in charge of growing buttenholes and flowers for the table

It'll be fine, everyone will chip in.

Button holes, v easy.

Do you have a garden or a window box? Sow some cornflowers, if you like blue.

If not, buy a small set of cornflowers, or a multi sprigged rose stem it two, on the day, and before hand. some cotton wool, foil, dressmakers pinos, and black thread. Practice on one before hand.

Cut flower stem to about 2 inches. Make a vertical cut at bottom. Wrap in damp cotton wool, cover in foil and for black cotton round to anchor. Put through button hole and anchor with pin. If it is too floppy, use a toothpick to strengthen stem.

As long as you keep them cool and damp you SN make the night before.

The easier way is just to do them without the backing, keep in water over night and cut just before wedding, anchor with pin. They don't last so long but are still nice.

So best man in charge of driving me do you mean?
Good idea to get the wedding party to help organise. My half of it aren't being too helpful tbh at the minute.

I don't have a garden, no. Good idea to make them though. Will practice.

I have sorted out costings and I think I massively over estimated what we will have. We are having to pay out for a car in the next week, just a cheap runaround for DP, as the car share he had is being sold. I just don't think I took things like this into account. Anyway, we won't have what I originally thought.

It will be ok, right?

You will be fine!

Look on your local Facebook selling pages for clothes for your DC - people often buy clothes for special occasions, wear them once & then sell them.

Are you having an adult bridesmaid? If so, does she mind buying / contributing to her own dress if she gets to choose it?

Do any male ushers etc have suits which can be co-or donated with the same tie?

For you afternoon tea - poundland do plates, cutlery etc which are reasonable.

Button holes - you could be unconventional and give everyone a brooch to match your brooch bouquet. Costume jewelry from charity shops / car boot sales would be fun & cheap.

No I just meant get the best man to fiind someone with a car to drive you. Was thinking it would take some of the pressure off if you get other people to be responsible for a job, they don't have to actually do it themselves.
Bit of a shame about the budget but, if push comes to shove, dump one of the meals and tell everyone to bring a picnic.

Bridesmaids are adults, my dd is flower girl.

I like the idea of of pulling the suits together with ties/ button holes, like this ?

Afternoon tea, would a stack of mismatched plates from charity shops work?

Cross posts Charlesroi

That's not a bad idea. Best man may know someone who can help out, because at the minute I can't think who to ask tbh.

'tis a bit disappointing about the budget, & its going to be tight. The good thing is though that the ideas on here are cheap and adaptable anyway. Ok, so its a lot less then first thought, however there is no reason why I can't do the things already sorted I hope Just means I will have to be careful and look around even more so.

Yes, keep popping in to the charity shops. You might find more than tea plates (car boots are good too) and I think mismatched stuff would be fine.
Have you checked how much a local cab company would charge?
Do you know anyone with a garden who could grow a few flowers for you?

Don't forget that some things you are having can be sold on afterwards - eg if you end up with a hundred vintage tea plates, you could sell those on and recoup some of the costs. Similarly, nice outfits or wedding dresses, bunting or swathes of fabric.

Yes, could recoup a bit I suppose. The thing is having the money in the first place.

Also I was planning on passing some of the kindness I've had on, & helping someone else who is struggling with their wedding. Did see someone on MN who mentioned they couldn't afford a wedding seem to have lost them though Different thread.

I got your PM, need to look into distance :)

What size flower girl dress was it you needed?

I once went to a wedding where the marquee blew down the day before the wedding due to terrible weather and terrible planning by the bride to be honest

All the village pulled together to move the wedding to the local community hall. The venue is usually used for kiddies play group, youth club, that sort of thing so you can imagine it's not the prettiest. It was one of the best weddings ever because the sense of community spirit totally made it special, and the venue added to that.

Another wedding I went to, the bride and guests spent the day before making these: Pom Poms and they looked totally stunning.

I do find it sad when people choose a venue first, then cull the guest list to fit with the venue They deserve, because they're SPECIAL you know - well done you for choosing people over a pretty venue. That will shine through on your big day. No one will give a crap about the carpet.

Your wedding will be fab for all the right reasons - have a boquet

Another nice idea from the lovely Pom Pom wedding (sorry, haven't read through the thread so no idea if I'm repeating something someone's already said)

They had mismatched glass bottles and jars on the tables with lovely flowers in them. I think the bride found them at charity shops. You could ask around your friends with nice gardens and nab some flowers and foliage for your table displays - get someone who is good at flower arranging to do them for you - save a fortune.

I also think your charity shop china sounds great - it's rather trendy these days you know!

Another wedding I went to just asked everyone to bring a plate of food - sandwiches, quiche, buffet stuff - we had a feast, for free!

I threw an emergency wedding for someone once: total budget less than $1000, and people still talk about it now. It can be done!

Even the smartest nightclubs look tatty by the cold light of day - their glamour is all down to the lighting.
Have your reception start as it gets dark, beg and borrow all the lights you can, and noone will notice.
But be careful/sparing with tea lights, partic if there are young children about, because of the fire risk.
The good news is that in the old days (!) clubs used to smell really bad because of all the stale cigarette smoke, and now they don't :)

It will be fine because it is about the people not the things.

Get plates if you want. But unless you have to butter stuff, eg scones, pretty paper napkins will do fine. No one will notice. Honestly give your self two mottoes

No one will notice
And
It's about US.

Truly.

Then relax.

Hi OP - have a look at this website for flower ideas. There are some very simple elegant bouquets and button holes that you could make yourself. Blue hyrangeas for a bouquet for example - they are naturally bunchy anyway, plus lots of people grow them in their gardens so 5 tied together with some wire covered in ribbon would be very quick and easy. The price list on the webpage will give you a quick gallery and show you how much you are going to save.
lilyandlace.co.uk/22.html

"No-one will notice" is exactly right. People mostly notice who they talked to, what they ate and what they drank. Read any of the "best wedding ever" threads or "worst ever wedding" threads for that matter, and see how many times anything like favours or colour schemes or table centres are mentioned. Never.

Wedding guests just want a happy, loving couple, a plateful of something tasty, and a glass that's not empty too often.

I have requested an online quote from the taxi firm in the area.

WeAreSix DD will be 15months by our wedding.

CosyTeaBags What a lovely wedding you went to. Your idea of bring a plate, we are doing with Like a bake off. We are supplying savouries / fizz/ lemonade/ tea etc. We have the back room and courtyard of the church for a while, so are doing it there.

alranson Thats our budget now. Any tips from when you planned that would be fab! What did they do food wise etc?

oscarwilde Thank you for the link. Will be doing those

anchient & Horatia aka my wedding planners & & Fab as always.

oscarwilde Sorry, I meant that I would be doing the pompoms on the link from alranson

Let me try again. I will be reading the link you sent me later oscarwilde Thank you.