to think this is very disruptive??

[macdoodle]

I probably am being unreasonable and am prepared to hear it.
My DD1 has just started secondary school, she is in the "more able class" (this is what its called by the school ).
In this class, of about 20 odd, there is a boy with SN. He has an assistant for every lesson, and from what my DD tells me I guess he must have some form of autism.
But every single day, she is coming home with stories of what "X" has done. Thinks like having tantrum, which takes 20mins to calm down disrupting the lesson, shouting at the teacher, grabbing or hitting another child (and once a teacher), throwing all his books and stuff on the floor (numerous occasions), storming out of lessons etc etc.
Now the kids all seem to think this is hysterical (and great fun that almost every lesson is disrupted by "X"), but every day I am a bit , it just sounds very disruptive, and DD is starting to sound more annoyed than thinking its funny.
She does however say that is is clearly very bright indeed.
I know he has just as much right to be taught, but at the cost of disrupting a whole class of children? AIBU?? I can't quite decide TBH, and so far it doesnt appear to be affecting DD1's abilities, but we are only a term in.

This poor lad he sounds so stressed. I work with disabled young people, some really struggle in mainstream schools despite support. Stress, weightloss, absconding, tantrums etc etc.

I feel for him.

In all of this, the OP hasn't mentioned the triggers, that I can see. What is triggering this behaviour, if it's high school, I strongly suspect that some of it is coming from within the classroom.

Your concern isn't for the boy.

It's for the disruption to your DD's education.

You've said this, very clearly, from the start. Don't try to change your intentions now.

And don't begin to comment on people who have children with SN, and their lives being harder, because you have no idea.

I have no problem with people being concerned if a class situation isn't working.
It should be resolved for the benefit of every child.

That's not quite this thread is it?

Must admit that as soon as I read the immortal phrase "political correctness" in one of the OP's posts I lost an awful lot of sympathy. Wanting a disabled child to be educated at level appropriate to his ability and with the right level of support really isn't political correctness, you know.

I totally agree that everyone is entitled to an education but it seems to me that no one is getting one in this situation. The DD and her classmates, including the boy with autism, are all suffering. The boy is almost definitely suffering more than most.
More needs to be done to discover what he is finding it difficult to deal so strategies can be put in place. The obvious things to start with are sensory issues and variation in classroom routine/unpredictable behaviour but every student is different.

I work in an SEBD secondary school and many of our students are also diagnosed with autism. We have a clear and consistent classroom routine that we all use as much as possible so the students know what is coming every lesson.

The OP doesn't know the full facts but what seems clear is that none of the children in the class can possibly be learning at their full potential and to say that the school should be trying to find a better solution for the whole class isn't anti SN inclusion

Surely no one individual childs needs should trump all the others whoever that child is.

My own child is not in Mainstream. .nor does she have disruptive behaviour.

Kids in her class do..I don't post threads bitching about them

Because they have SN and I have a wee bit of compassion

"Your concern isn't for the boy.

It's for the disruption to your DD's education.

You've said this, very clearly, from the start. Don't try to change your intentions now"

Aren't your concerns for your dc? Or do you include everyone else's dc's feelings into the equation whenever you're upset or angry?

Dawndonnaagain that's what I was thinking too. I wonder if the teachers have tried to establish if there any any triggers in the classroom to account for him feeling so uncomfortable.

If it truly is every (or most) lessons every school day and it's not improving, it doesn't sound like anyone's educational needs are being met.

And yes, I would be speaking to the school about it.

Right am going to say this one more time then I'm off I think.
I did not once say exclude or remove him?
My Dd1 is not "gossiping" or intolerant. I ask about her day, she says "oh maths was good, we learnt this..., so and so forgot her trainers and got a demerit, and X did this or that and had to be taken out again" the only constant is what X has done.
I am concerned in this order (1) my DD1 (she is my priority), (2) the whole class, which seems very unsettled, (3) X, he sounds like he is having a horrible time.
The personal insults on me and DD1 seems uncalled for, and much more nasty than anything I said.

So are MNetters saying the OP should only be thinking about the lad in this situation? Not HER DD who's education will suffer long term when it doesn't have to?
I thought people were rational

Well it is gossipy isn't it?

My DD told me about a naughty girl in her class a few times. We very quickly had conversations about why that was not her concern, why talking about her bad behaviour outside the assroom wasn't very kind and why she would be far less aware of this girls behaviour if she was once treating on her own work.

Isn't that what we do? Not listen intently?

There are very very few schools available for academically able children with autism, and the places in the ones available are incredibly hard to get a place in.
The closing down of specialist schools in order for "every child to be entitled to a mainstream education" has had huge repercussions.
Higher functioning autistic children are often the ones more unlikel;y to be catered for. An educational statement is incredibly hard to get if your child is academically normal, let alone excelling, yet social skills and disruptive behaviour can totally prevent the child from accessing a decent education, and also be disruptive for the other children in the class.
Im sorry this is affecting your child. This is something that many people have been concerned about for years, and is likely to only get worse with the removal of the educational statement system

It's shit like this that makes me dread dd2 going to secondary next year. She's also "more able" and has asd. Seriously sepress

So upset and angry they can't remember what they posted less that half an hour ago.

Add message | Report | Message poster macdoodle Sun 13-Oct-13 16:14:41
Sauvignon, I am sorry for your lad,

It's not about her being a doctor, FFS. It's about the fact she might be a doctor, or a cleaner. Doesn't fucking matter, she hasn't met the boy, or observed his behaviour. Her DD isn't a doctor.

celia - whilst I am concerned for my DC, like all parents, I do not consider them the centre of the world and therefore, yes, I do take other children's feelings into account. My children aren't always right, or the most important. They sometimes have to amen sacrifices for others.

Seriously depressing thread.

I work with children with sen especially children with autism and feel that this little boy needs a more nurturing and specialist environment to meet his needs. His current placement is definitely not working for him.
And meanwhile your dd's needs aren't being met either.

This whole situation needs reassessed where all the children's needs are met if I was you I would have a word with your child's teacher and tell them your concerns..

There may be better ways to manage the child and any triggers so he can stay in the classroom. But the school need to be doing much better than this.

And no talking to your mum about your experiences at school, is not gossiping.