To ask you all how to make our mornings easier? DH incapable of timing things correctly

[ICameOnTheJitney]

DH doesn't start work till' 11.00am so he does the school run. I work from home and begin about 9.30. The school is almost 2 miles away through country lanes and they ride bikes. DD aged 9 has her own bike and DD aged 5 is on a tagalong.

Now...I do my bit...I get up first, make the packed lunches and help DDs with clothing and bags....I do their breakfast and hair etc.

DH gets up, spends ages making elaborate toasts (mini gourmet toasts) and then stands in the kitchen eating them while I do the last minute checks with the DDs. Then without fail, we all have a row because he's wasted a load of time and panics and gets grumpy because he's annoyed that one DD can't find her helmet or the other is moaning about her socks or whatever and we all spend the last 5 minutes arguing.

I HATE that he can't seem to get ready on time and he last night admitted he was too slow and said he'd change...he also suggested a good idea which was to stop blurring the lines of which parent was in charge, we'd sort of "hand over" when it came to coat, bag and helmet time....I thought this sounded excellent and tried to do it this morning and he STILL failed to get out for 20 past which is the time we them need to leave.

He always gets annoyed with one DD...whichever one is most grumpy or slow...and I get annoyed because if he wasn't so bloody slow himself, he'd have time to address issues with tight straps or cold hands!

What can i DO???

[knickernicker]

The toasts sound dull. Tomatoes don't go with bread unless they're rubbed in with oil and garlic.

[ICameOnTheJitney]

I'm back and I've bought a packet of nasty croissants and some miniature cereals...you know...those selection packs. I've also disappeared the bread and the oil!

My croissant and honey nut loop buffet will be laid out in readiness and I shall report back in the morning.

[FunnyRunner]

Jesus wept I would stab him to death watching him arrange the mini tomato slices on the toast. Why the hell doesn't he take the kids a bit earlier and then come back and have a leisurely breakfast?

[ICameOnTheJitney]

Lol. I love the fact that women on here are getting so violent about Dhs toasts! We've had poor old DH kicked, stabbed, thrown out on his arse...don't worry. He's having croissants tomorrow. From a packet.

If he wants his toasts, he can have them for tea. High tea we'll have...with gourmet toasts and a selection of jellies.

[Waffling]

Just so this thread and it's STUPID TOASTS goes away quicker, I'll give you a tip.

If you're sure you don't want to murder him, I have a 13yo who hasn't yet cracked timekeeping, so I've set a load of alarms on her phone.

8pm - Get bag and uniform ready for morning

7am - Get up & get breakfast

7.15 - Get washed and dressed

1. 30 - Get lunch/keys/money

7.40 - Leave house

It works.

[Timpetill]

YANBU OP. I would have toasted his proverbials and served them up to him on toasts drizzled in white hot rage by now.

And to all those doing the tilty-head "I just can't understand how this is a problem" thing, here is a big shiny gold medal for being so amaaaaazing and competent. I have lots of helpful suggestions for where you can pin it.

[BitOutOfPractice]

Timpetill thanks for the suggestion.

I haven't said I don't think the OP's DH is a problem. I'd have a massive problem with the toasts poncery too. I asked why the mornings in general are so stressed / rushed / difficult. I never said I was Wonder Woman, I am just puzzled as to why it's such a ball of stress every morning when usually it's pretty straightforward and the same every day surely

[Timpetill]

Well it's clearly not for the OP, Bit. You can be the most organised person in the world, but if you have DCs or a DP who aren't/won't, then yes, mornings are going to be stressy. My cooment wasnt directed at you, btw. You're not the only one who has commented that way though, it seems there are legions of households running like smoothly oiled machines . There are legions, however, that do not, even with the best will in the world.

[Wishihadabs]

OP you have brought light in to my grey Friday. PMSL at your DH and his toasts. My DH also is capable of immense fuckwittery of a similar nature. (Poached eggs starting to get cooked at 7:55 am, leaving time 8:15). TBHtthere are rarely 2 of us there in the morning 'cos I just can't stand it. I work 8-4 and leave him to get on with it.

[BitOutOfPractice]

I never said mine was well oiled machine. But I would say 9 mornings out of 10 it's pretty straightforward because it's so predictably mind numbingly the same every morning.

Maybe because I don't have a live-in DP getting in the way or causing me rage, toasted or otherwise.

Most of the last minute stress the op describes isn't related to her DH is it? It's related to the kids not being able to find stuff / faffing. Which would still be there whether her DH was busy drizzling or not.

I wonder why cycle helmets aren't on the handlebars of the bike etc. why socks are being put on at the door. If you know you have a last minute panic, you get stuff ready the night before as most people have suggested.

[DebrisSlide]

I bet the children are faffy because they know their father is not mentally engaged.

[Timpetill]

He's mentally engaged Debris, with his poncetastic toasts . My head can barely get round the idea of tea AND cereal in the mornings

[birdmomma]

Mornings used to be hell in my house when the kids were younger, loads of last minute panic and shouting etc. So eventually I decided to put all the responsibility on to the children to sort themselves out. I made a picture schedule of the activities they had to complete each morning, and once they had ticked them all off and were completely ready in outdoor clothes, they were allowed to watch something on the the tv if there was time left. This was a big treat because I didn't really let them watch tv. It worked a treat. I always checked them first to make sure they really were completely ready to go. In your situation, I would make them watch tv in their bike helmets.

[ICameOnTheJitney]

Well it's been a mixed morning. It was raining today so our neighbour called at 7.30 to say he was going in our direction...leaving at 8.35 and would DH and the DC like a lift.

So DH did have time for his toasts because the neighbour's kind offer mean we had an extra 15 minutes...he saute'd (sauteed? Sauted?) some mushrooms this morning for them He also made the DC's breakfasts of boiled eggs and fruit...AND thanks to me informing him that you lot were going to toast his knackers for him, he made a good effort.

It wasn't perfect...but he tried...

[Rubybrazilianwax]

Op you are doing everything it seems! Get dh to do lunches the night before. Put everything in the bag & they just have to be lifted out of the fridge. Also at 5 & 9 the dc can get their uniform and clean underwear ready before bed, as well as shoes & bags sitting by the door.

[Dubjackeen]

I had to have an omelette for breakfast this morning, all because of this thread OP. I am on a day off though. Work mornings, I just have toast or cereal, definitely no faffing!

[EldritchCleavage]

Oh well, good-ish start. P'raps tell neighbour not to offer any more lifts until DH has completed his Orderly Mornings Training?

Eggy bread and syrup in the Cleavage household this morning.

[Timpetill]

Mmmm, toasted knackers..... Sounds delish, OP!

[Wheatus]

He cycles two miles to school every day with two children.

Ballsed of I'd do that.

[quoteunquote]

When your children come in from school, they should get their bags and clothing ready for the following day before they sit down and relax, and hang bike helmets on their bikes ready for the next day.

they can then get their pack lunches ready for the following day, and then all they can put their sandwiches together in the morning, while they make their breakfast.

*They can brush their hair, the five year old may need help putting in plaits.

They are more than capable of doing this, so let them.

[ICameOnTheJitney]

My 5 year old would take about an hour to do what you describe Quote. Her sandwiches would be a mess...her uniform usually needs washing and then ironing and no, I don't have lots of sets because they're expensive. Her cardigan needs washing nightly....there's no point making her make her packed lunch and prep her uniform because I'd have to help and it would take twice as long!

As for her hair, she brushes it but can't manage to tie it up at all. My 9 year old does her own.

I wash uniforms and when the DC are in bed, I iron and lay them out...lunches I won't make till the morning as who wants sandwiches which have been in the fridge all night? rank.

[BitOutOfPractice]

I agree OP. I don't think a 5yo could make breakfast and lunch themselves in anything like the time required and without a lot of faff / mess / stress especially given their dad's inability to do it sensibly

[butterflyexperience]

He sounds like a selfish nob
Hth

[Donkeyok]

Ohh Pedlars what are Indian scramblies?
Im off to look in the salad tray for toms to go with my toast.

[PedlarsSpanner]

MotherInferior put the recipe on upthread

hang on