To ask you all how to make our mornings easier? DH incapable of timing things correctly

[ICameOnTheJitney]

DH doesn't start work till' 11.00am so he does the school run. I work from home and begin about 9.30. The school is almost 2 miles away through country lanes and they ride bikes. DD aged 9 has her own bike and DD aged 5 is on a tagalong.

Now...I do my bit...I get up first, make the packed lunches and help DDs with clothing and bags....I do their breakfast and hair etc.

DH gets up, spends ages making elaborate toasts (mini gourmet toasts) and then stands in the kitchen eating them while I do the last minute checks with the DDs. Then without fail, we all have a row because he's wasted a load of time and panics and gets grumpy because he's annoyed that one DD can't find her helmet or the other is moaning about her socks or whatever and we all spend the last 5 minutes arguing.

I HATE that he can't seem to get ready on time and he last night admitted he was too slow and said he'd change...he also suggested a good idea which was to stop blurring the lines of which parent was in charge, we'd sort of "hand over" when it came to coat, bag and helmet time....I thought this sounded excellent and tried to do it this morning and he STILL failed to get out for 20 past which is the time we them need to leave.

He always gets annoyed with one DD...whichever one is most grumpy or slow...and I get annoyed because if he wasn't so bloody slow himself, he'd have time to address issues with tight straps or cold hands!

What can i DO???

[BitOutOfPractice]

What are all these tasks of which you speak?

Get dressed
Have breakfast
(Possibly make lunches if you don't do it the night before / have school lunches)
Clean teeth and wash
Put shoes and coat on
Pick up bags
Leave

Really. What is all this stress about? I can understand it with toddlers / preschoolers but I can't help thinking it's all a lot of drama over nothing

[haverer]

The question of who does dinner, bath and bedtime is key here. If you're doing it all in the evening, you're fully justified in stepping away from breakfast and the rest of the morning routine. Leave the mornings to him, tell him as from Monday it's his job.

[Namechangesforthehardstuff]

Lougie you had me at 'toasrd'

[Namechangesforthehardstuff]

'toasts' you bloody stupid Android bastard. Why would you turn a perfectly sensible word into nonsense?

[Ifonlyihadknown]

He has to take responsibility for himself. We had exactly the same thing for the first 2 years of DD's life. Endless faffing from DH in the morning, me nagging, us rowing. Only resolve when DP was finally in massive trouble at work for lateness. Mornings are now smooth and serene, he gets up at 6.00, empties dishwasher, gets breakfast, I get up 6.30ish, get self and DD ready, he takes her to nursery. But I'm afraid nothing I said or did could fix it until it became HIS problem and he had to solve it.
I agree with other posters, you should leave him to it.

[FloozeyLoozey]

I don't understand why there's such a fuss. I'm a single parent who works full time and I have ds,7, and myself up and out of the door in 40 minutes. Lunches made night before. We both get up at 750, have cereal, then I have a shower and get dressed while ds gets dressed and watches tv. I always keep coats, bags and shoes in the same place. Uniform is always clean hung up in wardrobe. Set off for the mile walk to school at 825. Do my make up on the bus! Why should it be so hard for you all? Odd.

[BitOutOfPractice]

Floozey I've been saying the same. I wake at 7. Get the kids up at 10 past. We are out at 8.

And like you, there's only me. And I also work FT. I have two DC

I have yet to get an answer why mornings are so stresful

Obviousy I'm missing something

[FloozeyLoozey]

Bitof I know! I thought maybe it's cause I have one kid, but you can do it with two. When I was part time, on non working days I was even faster as I'd shower when I got back and would just throw on anything, didn't have to groom myself of pick work clothes. Ds and I both hate getting up early which is why our mornings are as streamlined as possible. Setting off at 825 allows me up to 10 mins extra time if anything goes wrong but things rarely do as there's not really much to go wrong!

[onepieceoflollipop]

I am also struggling to understand...Dh has gone to work by 6.30. On a work day we are all out by 7.45. We just get on with it tbh.
I could not and would not tolerate another adult (parent) in the house indulging their own selfish desires while I struggled with 2 dcs.
The issue from your description is that your dh is selfish and you just let him carry on.

[onepieceoflollipop]

He is 'incapable' he 'can't' - actually yes he can, he chooses not to. To me this is disrespectful to you and your dcs.

[motherinferior]

The point is that no, it's not rocket science and that is precisely what the DH should realise. The risk is that the OP will take over and with two parents in the mix that's just not fair.

[Waffling]

lougles Justine has asked me to ask you to leave Mumsnet due to your being irritating. She said it would be better coming from me.

[Bluestocking]

Is OP still here? I have no useful advice, I just wanted to point out that her DH can join the pantheon of MN Fuckers as the Elaborate Toastyfucker, holding the Lakeland Magnetic Wooden Tongs in one hand and a chunk of Poilâne in the other.

[Waffling]

Namechangesforthehardstuff TOASTS IS NOT A PERFECTLY SENSIBLE WORD

[lougle]

Dear Waffling,

When I see lougles I will let her know.

Kind regards

Lougle

[Waffling]

Ah shite.

[Namechangesforthehardstuff]

Waffling it's perfectly simple - language evolves. When we got up this morning there was no 'toasts'. Now, however, 'toasts' has been brought into our lives to describve a situation, like the one posited by the OP in which toasted bread,

once it has a topping, [has its] fundamental nature...changed; you cannot return it to its original state, so the compound substance (toasted bread + topping) becomes a new entity.

I for one have been struggling to find a word for breadstuffs grilled and topped with a variety of tartine-esque toppings and this is a marvellous lexical leap forward IMHO.

I am sure OP is glad that those mornings watching her DP create 'toasts' and wishing she could toast and top him with halloumi and a light drizzle of pesto have not been wasted.

[Pannacotta]

Op sorry but your DH sounds a bit of a knob.
Am PMSL at the toasts posts and think the fancy toasts sound lovely but seriously cant he eat his posh toasts with you, after the school run?

ps lougle, please don't go!

[Waffling]

Namechangesforthehardstuff I've hired a hitman.

[Ledkr]

Who eats that type of breakfast every day?
Unbelievable.

[Namechangesforthehardstuff]

YOU CANNOT HOLD BACK THE MARCH OF PROGRESS

[lougle]

Is anyone else swooning at the thought of having time to delicately drizzle olive oil on their toast then carefully stack beautifully sliced cherry tomatoes?

[PedlarsSpanner]

yes, me, Lougle

nom nom nom

with maldon salt of COURSE

[PedlarsSpanner]

oopsie

OP, you are ENABLING your husband's patheticness at timekeeping

Leave the hoose 15 mins before you need to, let him sort it out

There, job's a good 'un

NEXT

[PedlarsSpanner]

I want fucking indian scramblies now too, thanks for NOTHING, MI, humph

[folds armsies]