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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about testicle scratching?

104 replies

froken · 05/10/2013 13:37

Dp is lovely in most ways. He has a bad habbit which is scratching his balls. He only does it when we are at home alone.

It never really bothered me before. Dp washes his hands before cooking/eating.

We now have have a 9 month old ds. I have said to dp that I don't think it is a good idea for him ( dp) to scratch his balls when ds is in the room as he will pick up this habbit.

I dont understand how he came to have this habbit as his mother was very strict about manners when dp was growing up. I feel like a nagging mother by saying "dp hands out of your pants please) constantly. I am tempted to call mil and ask her what she did when he was young ( hopefully that threat would encourage dp to stop)

I don't think dp is always aware of what he is doing, it's like a compulsion.

I grew up without a father so I'm not sure what consists of normal male behavior and what is a bit strange.

Aibu to ask dp not to scratch his balls when ds is in the room?

OP posts:
SPsTwerkingNineToFive · 05/10/2013 13:39

If I had them I'd scratch them.

Binkyridesagain · 05/10/2013 13:40

I know someone that scratches his balls in public and then sniffs his fingers.

It could be worse Grin

Feminine · 05/10/2013 13:41

It is normal.

I don't know one man who is exempt.

what do you think will happen if he does it while your son is in the room? Grin

Oh, most men do it without realizing ...so good luck!

SPsTwerkingNineToFive · 05/10/2013 13:41

Errr why would you sniff? Surely you would know sweaty ball sack isn't something to sniff at

Fairenuff · 05/10/2013 13:42

dp hands out of your pants please Shock

Do you really say this? Seriously? Are you a teacher by any chance Grin

Feminine · 05/10/2013 13:43

The men I know, don't sniff

Its a comforting thing for them...AWWWW

Fairenuff · 05/10/2013 13:44

My dh has never done this in my presence, so either it's not all men or he just does it in private?

He's done the 'adjusting things' occasionally, but no scratching.

Feminine · 05/10/2013 13:45

private I'd say faire Wink

phantomnamechanger · 05/10/2013 13:46

I think its far better for your son not to be brought up where this is considered wrong or dirty, you will give him a complex about perfectly natural feelings if he hears you always nagging his father!

now, if it were a full on wank, that would be an entirely different matter!

NameyMcChanger · 05/10/2013 13:46

Ih leave his balls alone, my ds enjoys a morning scratch after his breakfast, I could set my watch by him. Hmm

RhondaJean · 05/10/2013 13:46

You really tell him to stop scratching his own bits in his own house in private? When he washes his hands and everything?

Buy him a smartphone, he will have both hands on it constantly, no ability to scratch as well Grin

Beastofburden · 05/10/2013 13:49

Ewwwwww, actually with his hinds down his pants?

FWIW your DS will do this anyway regardless of whether he sees is dad do it. But it's going to make to hard for you to tell him off. DH needs to know that the day will come when a teacher will tell DS off for this, and he will announce in loud ringing tones to the entire room that Daddy does this all the time.

I hate it when men sit opposite me on the train and spread their legs wide.

Also, can any bloke tell me what is going on when men sit and jiggle one leg up and down? Are they doing what it looks as if they are doing?

PatioDweller · 05/10/2013 13:49

I'm afraid they all do it. And I hate to break it to you, but even if you leave him and bring your DS up in a cave, he will also start scratching once puberty is upon him!

Still, even before then, I hope you're prepared for a male toddler and his penis obsession? He'll get it out, he'll tug it, stretch it until it goes no further, flick it, or just walk around holding it at every opportunity when you take his nappy off. Oh the joys of boys!

MrsMangoBiscuit · 05/10/2013 13:49

I've just realised that I don't ever see DH scratching his balls, so I asked him if he does it in private. Apparently that's "between him and his balls!" Grin

gamerchick · 05/10/2013 13:52

I dunno I can quite understand a mans relationship and their balls.. They feel quite nice in the hand. Like stress balls. If I had some I think I would scratch as well.

The husband says a good scratch feels satisfying because they move about and the hairs make it tickle or something.

Fairenuff · 05/10/2013 13:55

You could offer to scratch them for him

< helpful >

Fairenuff · 05/10/2013 13:56

And I don't think threatening to tell mummy on him will make a difference. But I do think you should have the conversation with her anyway and let us know what she says. Just for the comedy value Grin

SillyBeardyDaddyman · 05/10/2013 13:57

Balls are really inconvenient and badly placed/designed so forgive us the occasional rearrangement and scratch. It's not because we like it, it's because we need to do it.

And because we like it.

TigOldBitties · 05/10/2013 13:57

I have 4 boys plus DH, plus their cousins and friends that come round. Its a rare male who doesn't enjoy this habit.

I don't if they're all scratching or just adjusting. Sometimes it looks like they just seem to want to have a hand on them.

Your DS will do this if he has the urge, he won't be influenced by your DP.

Original poster
froken · 05/10/2013 14:01

I am glad to hear that it is a normal thing for men to do. I was probably comparing it to women too much, I couldn't imagine sitting on the sofa stroking my vulva infront on ds.

Do men with female dc do this infront of their daughters

I'm all prepared for ds's penis obsession. I have a d-brother so I'm familiar with little boys and the way they are very keen obsessed with their willies. Ds has already found his willy, when he has nappy off time of when he is in the bath he sits holding into it with his shoulders hunched up looking very serious. I was intending to encourage him to explore his penis and testicles in the privacy of his own room but if dp scratches his balls in the living room I will be sending contradicting messages.

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 05/10/2013 14:02

Dh and ds1 do it permanently (it seems). Ds2 and ds3 hardly ever, so I guess it varies.

I think you're being a bit precious to tell your dp not to do it in front of your ds. If I were your dp I'd tell you to bugger off with your orders.

DaleyBump · 05/10/2013 14:02

Leave him be, I'm sure he wouldn't complain if you had a good old scratch of your fanjo.

SillyBeardyDaddyman · 05/10/2013 14:05

My DD is obsessed with her bits anyway. I've given up on telling her to leave herself alone.

Would it be better if your OH had a dedicated ball scratcher? Like a back scratcher, but for his nethers.

Feminine · 05/10/2013 14:07

You know op its not really a sexual thing.

Its more of a comfort.

Privacy of own room bit, would lead me to think he wanks while watching TV!

its not that charming but it is normal :)

gamerchick · 05/10/2013 14:07

The encouraging them to do it in their bedroom comes later on. You're setting yourself up for unnecessary stress on this issue.. but it doesn't matter because you'll find out there really isn't anything to stress about. Boys and their bits are a battle we can't win.