About what my boss said?

[bouncingbelle]

Came back to work on Monday following surgery. Today my boss asks to speak to me to say "she was very disappointed that I appeared to 'disengage' with my work once I had an operation date."

I got a date for my operation on a Thursday morning. On the Thursday afternoon I ended up in hospital miscarrying my (fertility treatment so even more special) baby. I was off work for three working days whilst miscarrying. I was only at work for four and a half days (including a half day I came in on a day I don't normally work to help boss out) before going off for surgery.

AIBU to be furious and upset at her comment?? I got all the work done I needed to do on those 4 days. How can she seriously expect me being 'disengaged' on the four days between a miscarriage and major surgery to be worthy of raising with me now??! What is the point??? It was 6 weeks ago! I'm over the surgery and back at work (a week earlier than expected) and most definately engaged. But I'm raging at her!!!!

Should I say something to her?

Thanks for all your support on this thread. BB is off this week but she,ll be back next week and we are meant to be meeting with hr again but I just can't do it. I'm going to be handing in my notice at the start of January (I'm off the week after her and then all of December). She is a liar and I cannot and will not be civil to her any longer.

Scared about the prospect of unemployment but there is no other solution.

Op I think you should urgently seek advice from an employment lawyer, you should not be forced out, I wouldn't do anything or meet anyone until you have had advice

Agree with purplefrog, this is awful. I'm no expert but it screams constructive dismissal to me. Keep recording everything, keep your own notes of the meeting you've just had.
I honestly cannot see how any lawyer can justify her actions and comments to you on the 4 days after you had a miscarriage.
Management may be closing ranks now but if you refuse to be bullied by them they may well have a different approach if they sense this and realise they may have a fight on their hands. How long have you been there?

Oh poop :-(

She's a fucking disgrace. So so sorry to read all this, is there any way you could consult an employment lawyer?

Sorry to hear about all you're going through. It is constructive dismissal, I'm sure. (Used to work in HR pre-children). Have you spoken to ACAS?

I'd be mentioning the words 'constructive dismissal' and that you will be getting legal representation - management will probably bend over backwards to change their tune. Please don't let her do this to you.

Please see an employment lawyer, you need all the help you can get. Good luck.

Thanks again. I,ve kept notes of various things she,s said/done since I,ve been working with her (including things she's said I,ve done wrong but I have proof I haven't). I,ve been working there for over 4 years and in my current role for over 3.

Never thought of it before but I would definately be interested in speaking to an employment lawyer - how would I find one??

Speak to ACAS first. They will point you in the right direction. Otherwise I have a friend who's an excellent employment lawyer within a national firm, I'm sure she could put you in touch with someone in your area - where are you?

Use this link: www.lawsociety.org.uk/find-a-solicitor/#formtop

Just choose location and area of law.

BTW I'm really pleased you're not going to take this lying down.

for being so brave after all you've gone through.

Aahhh thats what happens when you become a mum. You get something worth fighting for and suddenly you are Mohammed Ali! good Luck

I am so glad you are not going to let her away with this OP, consult the union as they may offer help or recommend employment lawyer

You may have legal cover as part of your home insurance. It is worth giving them a ring if you do as they may be able to help with fees.

Can I just say I,ve been totally overwhelmed by the support I,ve received on this thread and the private messages with details of who could help. This entire episode has without a doubt been one of THE most unhappy experiences of my whole life and I honestly think I would have cracked up by now were I not able to come here for advice and a rant. Cheesy as it sounds, every time I have to face BB now I feel like I,ve got you all behind me (nauseating, I know, but true!!!)

I,m currently working on getting an employment lawyer and taking this to the next stage, I will NOT be beaten by this!

On an entirely different note, went to the fertility clinic today for the first time since the miscarriage, have managed to produce my biggest egg so far despite all the stress, so fingers crossed for a successful cycle!

How appalling. Definitely think it's worth going back to the union rep (you have nothing to lose by it) and making a fuss. CAB may also be worth a try, and some employment lawyers will give a cheap (or free) initial consultation.

don't let her win OP, crossing fingers and toes for successful cycle

Wishing you all the best, for babies and dealing with horrible bosses. Have said a prayer for you too - hope you don't mind. Wishing you all the luck in the world - v moved by your posts.

fingers crossed this is your sticky egg and you'll be handing in your Mat1b form and setting your mat leave dates!

Fingers crossed for your cycle. The point made up thread about your home insurance is very very good. We had legal cover tucked away in our home insurance fine print. Paid for a helpline through internal procedures relating to redundancy then paid our legal fees all the way to tribunal and they helped us find a lawyer. It was an amazing help.

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