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Original poster

To call in sick?

111 replies

Nicknameinvalid · 03/10/2013 21:01

My dog died yesterday :(

He wasn't breathing quite right, there was nothing massive that we would see but he was off his food and panting a lot - we took him to the after hours vets and they couldn't find his heartbeat - they checked him over and he had fluid on the lungs.. We sat in the waiting room whilst they sedated him to see what the fluid was and his lungs were filled with blood.. They couldn't stop the bleeding and suspect he has a heart tumour that had ruptured.

I'm devastated.. I've spent most of the day in tears and trying to console the children.. He wasn't just a dog he was part of our family and having him put to sleep was the hardest decision I've ever had to make.

I genuinely don't think I can face work tomorrow but am I going to look stupid for calling in sick to work over what most people may think is 'just a dog?'

:( he was only 7 and the house just feels so empty without him.

OP posts:
Tiptops · 04/10/2013 01:30

So sorry to hear of your loss OP. Sounds like you lost your dog far too soon, seven is so young. Thoughts are with you and yours at this sad time.

I lost a dog suddenly after just one day at a new job. I called in sick on account of a 'loss in the family'. My employer was great and I was never questioned about who the loss was. There was absolutely no way I was in a fit state to go to work; I was devastated. Couldn't care less what non-animal lovers/ simpletons think, a pet is just another family member. You don't have to feel guilty/ hide your grief, it is totally normal and anyone who has known and loved an animal will 'get' it.

Grumpywino · 04/10/2013 07:15

Take your time to grieve as you see fit. No one ever on their death bed said 'I wish I had spent more time at work'. What job could possibly be more important than you and your suffering? Jobs come and go and are really only a means to an end. Love and loss are bigger than that. I am so sorry for your loss.

Shutupanddrive · 04/10/2013 07:21

Take the day off, it's just one day. They will manage. So sorry about your dog Sad

hermioneweasley · 04/10/2013 07:34

Kangerooshoes, that's what I think too. I guess we just don't "get" the people who feel such intense grief, but one of the many things MN has taught me is that people really do see their pets as part of the family in a way I had never considered.

OP I am sorry you are grieving and feeling his loss so deeply.

jamdonut · 04/10/2013 07:39

I would be devastated if my dog died,but I would still go into work. When my Mum died 3 years ago, I still went into work,even though everyone thought I was mad, because the normality of the day helped me cope.I would have been no good moping at home making myself feel worse. People kept saying "You can go home,you know",but I wanted to carry on!

Everyone copes in different ways.You do what's best for you.

Grittzio · 04/10/2013 07:45

Kangaroo, I too have lost both parents in tragic circumstances, suffered infertility and I'm one of the ones up thread that didn't go to work because my dog, a family member, passed away this week. It churns up all sorts of grief accumulated over the years. I cannot believe your insensitivity, why bother to contribute if you feel that way.

marriedinwhiteisbackz · 04/10/2013 07:53

I think you should phone in and tell the truth and offer to take the day as annual leave. I'm really sorry for your loss. And actually I think your DC might need you around today to make them a nice tea and just be there for when they get home from school. I also think you need to get another dog. The same thing happened to ours when I was about 13 and I grieved for him for months and months.

hugs

Tabby1963 · 04/10/2013 08:01

I think you should go in to work and, if it all becomes too much and you break down, you may in fact be sent home. I lost my boy Tabby many years ago (the vet put him to sleep), he was 18 and I adored him :( however it never occurred to me to take a day off over it because I thought that work would be a good distraction for me. It was. He is buried in my rose garden and I think of him every time I am tending my roses.

coffeeinbed · 04/10/2013 08:09

Sorry about you dog. I will be devastated when mine goes. I have no advice, but I don;t think I would be in a state fit to work. At least it will keep you busy.

kangaroo go take a long hard look at yourself. Something's not quite right, see if you can spot it.

coffeeinbed · 04/10/2013 08:10

Sorry, meant it will keep you busy if you went.

LaurieFairyCake · 04/10/2013 08:16

I didn't work for a week when my cat died.

Much worse than all my miscarriages for me personally.

I think people should think carefully before describing how they think others grief should be Hmm

I have a cat and a dog now that I love so much I will also have to not work for a few days when they die - I'm a counsellor so I need to be able to put my own grief aside to be there for others and if I can't then I shouldn't be working

I worked the day after my father died and it was bearable but I know it won't be when my cat dies as he is just adored

NotYoMomma · 04/10/2013 08:25

I didnt go onto work when my cat died. I was absolutley devastated. ye was my little family at the time.

I had a coupleof Hmm faces butmost were like Sad Wine Brew Thanks Thanks

IronOrchid · 04/10/2013 08:36

Here's a strategy for you, Kangarooshoes - don't let hard times make you a hard person.

Do what's best for you, OP. Losing a pet can be heartbreaking.

dollywobbles · 04/10/2013 08:42

MidniteScribbler

Do me a favour, will you? Give that dog of yours the biggest cuddle ever.
Your post made me fill up. I lost my very special cat 5 months ago, reading your words made me feel how lucky I was to have had him.

Jemimapyjamas · 04/10/2013 08:55

Bit late to this now, I realise, but OP I am sending you lots of love. When our cat was run over I didn't, couldn't, go into work for a few days (I was temping so didn't get paid) and said I was grieving as a 'friend' had died. True, but also didn't run the risk of any 'it's only a cat' type comments.
Its so hard isn't it?

BrianTheMole · 04/10/2013 09:03

Sorry about your dog op. i was devastated when I lost my dog. It felt like the end of the world. Dh and I didn't go to work the next day and we stayed in bed crying. I think it was important to have the time to do that. Hope things aren't too bad for you today, whatever you decided to do.

BrianTheMole · 04/10/2013 09:06

Being so upset you are SICK is not normal. Not about a dog. It's not a member of your family, it's not a child, it's not your mum, it's not your best friend, it's not a miscarriage, it's a dog.

It is quite normal. But your coldness and lack of compassion isn't. If you have have nothing of use to post, post nothing at all.

MrsWolowitz · 04/10/2013 09:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Preciousbane · 04/10/2013 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Nicknameinvalid · 04/10/2013 10:51

I went into work :)

Boss has been lovely and gone and bought cakes, and cried a bit as well as it reminder her of when she lost her pet.

Not seeing any clients today but doing admin.. I'm doing ok

Thanks for everyone who empathised x

OP posts:
FunnyRunner · 04/10/2013 10:57

Ah lovely boss :) Take care Nickname x

fuzzpig · 04/10/2013 11:00

Well done :)

MammaTJ · 04/10/2013 11:06

I'm glad you went in and have recieved understanding. The best outcome!

Sorry for your loss.

I know when my Lucy Dog dies, I will be equally upset. She is 12, so I fear it could happen sooner rather than later, although apparently in good health atm.

DumSpiroSpero · 04/10/2013 12:36

Well done you - glad your boss was sympathetic.

My colleagues are a lovely bunch and we all support one another when things are a bit rough - makes all the difference to work with nice people.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 04/10/2013 12:44

Nickname hope you're doing OK. So sorry to hear of your loss. It's hard, and it does knock you for six in a way you really don't expect. The second time round I was able to recognise that it actually was bereavement/grieving rather than complete loss of control, and that made it easier (though still not easy) to deal with.

Kangarooshoes Fucking hell. Just... fucking hell. Try and remember that, just because dogs don't matter to you, it doesn't mean that they don't matter - and shouldn't matter - to anyone else. I've lost family members and had miscarriages, and the loss of a dog tops both (since we're seemingly talking in terms of grief "league tables" now.