To call in sick?

[Nicknameinvalid]

My dog died yesterday :(

He wasn't breathing quite right, there was nothing massive that we would see but he was off his food and panting a lot - we took him to the after hours vets and they couldn't find his heartbeat - they checked him over and he had fluid on the lungs.. We sat in the waiting room whilst they sedated him to see what the fluid was and his lungs were filled with blood.. They couldn't stop the bleeding and suspect he has a heart tumour that had ruptured.

I'm devastated.. I've spent most of the day in tears and trying to console the children.. He wasn't just a dog he was part of our family and having him put to sleep was the hardest decision I've ever had to make.

I genuinely don't think I can face work tomorrow but am I going to look stupid for calling in sick to work over what most people may think is 'just a dog?'

:( he was only 7 and the house just feels so empty without him.

[ceres]

"Being so upset you are SICK is not normal. Not about a dog. It's not a member of your family, it's not a child, it's not your mum, it's not your best friend, it's not a miscarriage, it's a dog."

what a thoroughly horrible individual you sound.

who are you to quantify love? what exactly gives you the right to tell anyone else how they should feel about their pet?

our dog IS very much a member of our family. I love him far more than some other members of my family - cousins, uncles and aunts that I hardly know. what is it to you?

i'm glad I don't have to live my life with such a lack of compassion and empathy.

op - hope you are ok. what a horrible thing to happen. look after yourself and please remember that your feelings are your own and NOBODY has the right to tell you how you should be feeling or how much you have a 'right' to grieve.

[Grittzio]

Hi OP, have been thinking of you, glad you made a decision and that you have such an understanding boss, makes going to work so much easier.

Wouldn't want to work for kangaroo that's for sure!

Take care xxx

[Catmint]

Well done, OP I am glad your boss is supporting you to do what is right for you.

[BitOutOfPractice]

Oh OP I'm not a pet person but who am i to judge what should or shouldn't upset people? If you're upset you're upset and, having spent many years in a marriage where I was told that my feelings were "stupid", I would never ever discount or dismiss anyone else's feelings, no matter what they are or whatthey are about

I'm so glad that your boss was so kind. It sounds like it turend out perfectly. A good distraction but still able to acknowledge your feelings.

So sorry about your dog.

[boschy]

OP your boss sounds lovely, so glad it was OK and so sorry for the loss of your DD (Dear Dog obv).

FWIW, kangaroo I would be far more upset if my dog died than any of my ILs. obviously I would feel some sadness that they had died, as in loss of human life, but in terms of a part of our family's life? It is certainly the dog, all the way.

[CaptainSweatPants]

Aw op what a lovely boss!

So glad you're okay

I've worked at 2 places
Both places a colleague had a cat who died
First colleague was really upset, off work for 2 days, cat was 15, I heard some negative comments :(

Second place everyone was much more understanding & I didn't hear any comments, colleague was off for a few days

Pets are a part of our lives & we do grieve for them & miss them otherwise what's the point of having them in the first place if they don't become like a family member?

[BrianTheMole]

Sad, yes, really sad and needing TLC, yes, but off sick from work? Nah. And if you think that makes me a cold hearted bitch, then fuck off.

Aren't you just adorable

[nkf]

I don't think it's right to take a day off work for this. You aren't really sick, are you? Sad, but not sick. Can't you be a little sad at work?

[kali110]

Glad you have a lovely boss op.
Kangaroos just because its not normal for you doesn't mean it isnt normal for others.
I was sick with grief when i list my dad and same for my pet.
Maybe you didn't mean it but your post came across as insensitive and condescending.
Pets are part of the family maybe not to you but they are to others which mean we do grieve as if we have lost a person and there is nothing wrong or abnormal about that.

[coffeeinbed]

kangaroo it might be worth considering that's it's not normal for you because your reaction's not normal.
HTH

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

nkf Part of the issue is that the OP is in a customer-facing role, so if she'd had to work in that capacity it would definitely have caused difficulties.

I see it as being comparable to sick leave due to stress. People who are very stressed aren't physically ill (not always, anyway) but that doesn't mean they're not entitled to take sick leave.

[kangarooshoes]

I think my reaction is normal to this sort of thing. Sad, but not going to the length of mental illness (which is what you're saying by being off sick) about an animal.

If someone is so upset about their dog they're unwell, then, yes, they need time off and looking after. But I don't think that is normal. I just can't imagine how things didn't grind to a halt here in WW2 if people were off sick every time a pet died. Sometimes you're sad, and need TLC at work, but life goes on. As it actually did for the OP.

I don't think people would even consider being off sick for a dog if they were self-employed.

But, hey, I'm obviously in the "dogs are better than humans" club here, rather than the practical countryside life I'm used to.

[BrianTheMole]

just can't imagine how things didn't grind to a halt here in WW2 if people were off sick every time a pet died.

I think that has to be one of the stupidest and most insensitive comments I've heard on here yet. Just keep on digging eh

[kali110]

Because shes sad and grieving means mental illness?
Wow.

[MidniteScribbler]

And people like kangarooshoes are exactly the reason why I like dogs better than most humans.

[kali110]

Dont blame you at all midnite

[kangarooshoes]

No, Kali110. Sad and grieving is normal, and for a dog requires tea and sympathy, and listening.

Illness needs time off sick.

[BeScarefulWhatYouWitchFor]

And people like kangarooshoes are exactly the reason why I like dogs better than most humans.

This ^^

Glad your boss was sympathetic and understanding OP. Take care of yourself.

[kali110]

Then clearly a lot of posters must be mentally ill then

[maddening]

ask for a days unpaid leave? And be truthful

[maddening]

should have read on glad it worked out

[gobbin]

A colleague of mine took the day off when their horse was PTS. That was greeted by a lot of eye-rolling amongst the bosses. Hard though it is, I think it's often better to try and crack on, be busy and move through it with a pet. Yes it's upsetting but I think taking time off sick at the company's expense is a bit much. Unpaid leave maybe acceptable.

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

Kangaroo Wow. Where to start.

1. Stress isn't a mental illness (unless it is very severe and prolonged). Everyone suffers from stress - it's a sliding scale.
2. Grieving isn't a mental illness. It's normal.
3. WW2 - that one's going to take a while and I'm not sure I have the strength.
4. Self-employed - well, if you RTFT the OP was talking about taking unpaid leave, so it's not far off.
5. Dogs are better than humans club vs practical countryside: the vast majority of people fall somewhere in between. Also, "practical countryside" doesn't necessarily have to = "emotionally dead inside".