Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this was worst dinner guest ever

226 replies

AlleyAlleyO · 03/10/2013 16:42

DP's friend C came round last night for dinner, with his new girlfriend, F. We have only met her briefly, in the pub.

We invited them over last night, I did a slow-cooked pork and apple thing, with blackberry tart and whipped cream for dessert.

Initially I'd done the whole 'we're having this for dinner, hope that's OK' and C had gone 'ooh lovely', no objections from F.

When I served dinner, she just sort of looked at her plate and said 'actually, I'm a bit fussy. I'll have a bit of the sauce though, and a slice of bread to dip in'.

Cue apologies from me, are you sure that's all you'll eat etc. She maintained it was fine, she'd just have a bit of bread. I was pissed off, but whatever.

I brought her the bread and continued my own dinner. Two minutes later, F asks if there is any butter as she now doesn't want to dip the bread in sauce, she just wants bread and butter.

I go and get her the butter. She eats bread and butter.

Long story short (C looking embarrassed, DP shocked, me fuming) when dessert comes out, she seems pleased and asks what kind of tart it is. i say blackberry. She says she's sorry, but she doesn't eat anything picked from the wild.

I ask her does can I get her anything else, she ends up eating mini jammie dodgers from the biscuit barrel. They leave soon after.

I am still not over the shock and have told DP she's never coming round for dinner again- or if she does, I'm not counting her in Grin

OP posts:
ZingWantsCake · 04/10/2013 12:34

Ams the Forriner is watching your every step

Threalamandaclarke · 04/10/2013 12:40

Agh! zing you made me jump Grin

CiderBomb · 04/10/2013 12:42

If there's one thing that really bloody gets my goat it's fussy eaters. It's really not acceptable in anyone over the age of about ten in my opinion.

There's nothing more delicious than a slow roasted piece of pork. It's her loss if she's too immature and pathetic to try something different.

BloodiedWellies · 04/10/2013 12:44

Actually I have just recalled a dinner party I held years and years ago and a friend asked at the last minute if he could bring a new colleague from Italy who was lonely.

I had cooked minestrone, spinach and ricotta lasagne and I think tiramisu. The colleague turned her nose up, picked at things and then commented as i served coffee 'Foreigners can never cook Italian food properly'.

Had wiped that from my mind!!

EldritchCleavage · 04/10/2013 12:48

Only the second time my SIL met my parents she treated them to an extended performance of her 'what I can't eat and the unpleasant digestive symptoms it gives me' schtick. At the table, in the restaurant. Because clearly, they really wanted to talk about bloating and diarrhoea just before their food came. My father's face was a picture.

LeGavrOrf · 04/10/2013 12:54

I think there is a middle ground between being a fussy person who eats bugger all and being stupid enough to chow down something you don't like in some strange idea of politeness.

I wukdnt have been fuming at this. If she is happy enough to eat bread, just give her bread. I wouldn't have thought it was that much of a problem tbh, not to the point of getting angry about it surely.

And I am not a fussy eater personality. I eat anything apart from broad beans.

HavantGuard · 04/10/2013 13:06

She was invited to dinner. Probably the time to mention any food requirements. Then she refused it and asked for bread. Then she asked for butter. Then she refused pudding and ended up eating biscuits.

I have no time for adults who act like toddlers.

spatchcock · 04/10/2013 13:48

I know someone who has lived in France for ten years and hates the food, although from her diet of beige I don't think it's really to do with geography. We all went out for lunch together. Went from cafe to cafe looking at the menus - all rejected. We ended up at the eighth cafe, where we all gorged on moules frites, pastas and salads while Fussy Eater ate her children's meal - chicken nuggets and chips.

Jins · 04/10/2013 14:06

Normally I'm on the side of the fussy eater but on this occasion she had more than enough time to tell her partner that the menu wasn't going to work for her.

(I need warning of menus due to a wide range of allergies and after finding out that most people haven't got a clue and don't really care about allergens I prefer to decline dinner invitations)

boschy · 04/10/2013 14:23

Re the 'fussy eaters want attention' point made upthread.

My DD1 (aged 17) is vvvvv fussy to the point where I could probably throttle her. But that's another story...

What really pisses her - and me - off is when people make a fuss about her fussy eating - specifically the ILs, who say things like "why dont you just try this boiled liver/snail/cauliflower cheese - you're really missing out."

If she WANTED to try it, or felt able to try it she would. But by them making a fuss about her not trying it, they are creating exactly the kind of atmosphere that gets people upset about fussy eaters!

amawhoisayiam · 04/10/2013 14:31

The meal you made sounds lovely, AlleyAlleyO

I'm a bit fussy too, and I think she was in the wrong not speaking up beforehand to say she didnt like the things you were going to be making.

I can't stand certain textures and smells of things but she knew what was on the Menu so she was just being plain rude.

But as for people saying fussy eaters bug them but maybe you dont understand what its like to be overpowered by a smell or texture, not all our sense's are the same yoou know!

fancyanother · 04/10/2013 15:36

I don't like certain textures (milky things make me feel sick) but I still get irritated by fussy adult eaters. My mother is like this. She seems to have developed some sort of eating disorder where she can't just sit down and eat an adult plate of food off an adult plate with other people. She will say she's not hungry, wait until everyone else has eaten, then pick at the remains, putting it on one of the kids plastic plates, pushing it around with a plastic spoon (not a knife and fork) skulking around in the kitchen. It's like she wants to not make a fuss, but in doing so, is making a huge fuss and making everyone else uncomfortable because everyone else then says ' Don't you want anything?' ' Do you want something else?'" Are you sure you're not hungry'? and make a massive fuss of her, which they wouldn't if she had just sat down with everyone else and just had a small portion. I love eating out, but for various reasons, won't eat out with my parents or in-laws, because it just ruins my evening. I'm fully aware that this may be some sort of anxiety disorder, to which she is prone, but it just annoys me

GretaGroovy · 04/10/2013 15:46

Your dinner sounds lovely.

My first thought was that she has OCD. Possibly she thinks things from the wild have cooties. Grubs, bit of mould, evaporated dog pee...
She might genuinely not have been able to deal with something about the pork and apple dish, that you wouldn't have been able to see. Do you have pets? Do you have wooden surfaces? Or lots of different types of work surfaces?

I know you have to ask yourself why she accepted the invitation but perhaps she was trying. I don't know. Not to make excuses for someone I don't know and a situation I wasn't present at Grin

My most annoying dinner guest was the 'vegetarian' who ate animals that didn't have nice faces. Basically lambs were out, pigs were borderline (roast pork: no; bacon: yes), and chickens were ugly bastards, so nom. She said she just found it easier to call herself a vegetarian but was quite happy to tuck into anything that looked tasty so long as it hadn't once been cute. Hmm

Trills · 04/10/2013 16:16

You should have offered her some pombears. Bear

meddie · 04/10/2013 16:17

Gretagroovy you just described my DD, but she refers to heself as a cutearian

GretaGroovy · 04/10/2013 16:19

lol meddie
This woman was 36...I think 'cutarian' would have made us wince somewhat!

friday16 · 04/10/2013 16:29

"Gretagroovy you just described my DD, but she refers to heself as a cutearian"

Surely a cutearian would only eat things that are cute. Wouldn't "uglyarian" be more accurate?

Bathsheba · 04/10/2013 16:55

I can only think it won't last long - he'll dump her as there is no way she's filthy in bed....

Inertia · 04/10/2013 17:08

The most annoying thing is that you'd told them both what you had planned to cook - that's when they should have mentioned any problems with it.

dontyouknow · 04/10/2013 17:13

This has reminded me of when a uni friend pretty much invited herself to stay with me at my parent's house for a few days. The first day my mum (a really good cook!) had made a cheese and potato pie for everyone as she didn't know if my friend was vegetarian (I was/am but my friend wasn't). My friend announced she didn't eat cheese. (I had seen her eat loads of things with cheese). She picked at a bit of potato.

The next day she saw some meat in the fridge and asked if that was for dinner. My mum said it was. My friend then told me there was no way she was eating that. I checked what I was having and told her there was plenty of the veggie option for her instead. She said she didn't like the sound of that and wasn't going to eat that either.

She insisted on the two of us going out for a pizza. My mum of course got annoyed with me for telling her at short notice when she had planned a meal for us, and commented that she thought my friend didn't like cheese.....

Not food related but she also kicked up a fuss about wanting to park her car in my parent's garage. I said there wasn't room and it would be fine on the drive with my parent's cars. I joked that no-one had ever nicked their cars and she replied saying "but my car's nice".

Funnily enough we lost contact years ago.

expatinscotland · 04/10/2013 17:14

meddie, don't be such a mug again. We had that once. We were out in a group. I was about 3 weeks from giving birth to DD1 and there was a couple who pulled that stunt at every menu as I waddled up a hill in tow. After the 5th place, a simple, 'How about the two of you split off from the rest of us, find a place to eat, and send X a text when you're ready to meet up with the rest of us.' 'Oh, because we thought we'd all eat together.' 'No, you think everyone else has to eat how you want, when you want. I think that's pretty rude considering some of us are obviously struggling with mobility (there was an elderly couple plodding along with me).' Everyone else started piping up, 'Good idea! Let's take a vote, who's for the Indian place we saw first!'

We all went back there and they met us a couple of hours later.

Be fussy. That's fine. Just go do it somewhere else on your own or stay home and do it there.

meddie · 04/10/2013 17:19

I was younger and stupider then Expat and there was just me and her. I didn't really know her that well so was trying to be accomodating .By the time I realised she didnt like anything that was 'foreign or different' my stomach was eating itself I was that hungry.

PeriodFeatures · 04/10/2013 17:25

I'd just laugh to be honest. If it was a long standing friend then yes, i'd find it rude.

If she comes again, offer her some chicken nuggets or fish fingers Grin

idococktailshedoesbeer · 04/10/2013 17:25

Can't stand fussy eaters who attention seek, she sounds dreadful. When they make vomit noises looking at your plate. Make you schlep from one restaurant to another on holiday. Turn their noses up at their meals and pick bits out and hold them to the sky to examine them looking mournful. They sap the fun out of any occasion. Some of my in laws are like this so I have to put up with it but I'd ditch a friend who tried it.

I hate onions and mushrooms, they make me want to heave, but I've been served the likes of onion soup, mushroom pasta before now at dinner parties and coped. Just have more wine!

fleacircus · 04/10/2013 17:28

DP and I invited another couple (X and Y) for Sunday lunch once - lovely people we eat with fairly often; whichever couple is hosting, we always take quite a lot of trouble as we are all greedy bastards a bit poncey foody.

Anyway, a day or two before, another friend, Z, who also knows X and Y, suggested coming over that Sunday. We explained that X and Y were coming for lunch and said that it would be great if he could join us.

Z: OK, great, I'll come over but don't bother making any lunch for me.

Me: So, do you want to come after lunch?
Z: I can come about midday.

Me: We'll probably be eating at about 1ish, would you rather come a bit later?

Z: No, that's cool, I'll come at about 12.
Me: So... will you eat with us then? It wouldn't be any trouble.
Z: Oh, no, I won't eat, you eat without me.

And that's what he did. He came at about 12, he determinedly refused all offers of food, and he watched us eat the most weirdly awkward three course meal I've ever had.