AIBU to think this was worst dinner guest ever

[AlleyAlleyO]

DP's friend C came round last night for dinner, with his new girlfriend, F. We have only met her briefly, in the pub.

We invited them over last night, I did a slow-cooked pork and apple thing, with blackberry tart and whipped cream for dessert.

Initially I'd done the whole 'we're having this for dinner, hope that's OK' and C had gone 'ooh lovely', no objections from F.

When I served dinner, she just sort of looked at her plate and said 'actually, I'm a bit fussy. I'll have a bit of the sauce though, and a slice of bread to dip in'.

Cue apologies from me, are you sure that's all you'll eat etc. She maintained it was fine, she'd just have a bit of bread. I was pissed off, but whatever.

I brought her the bread and continued my own dinner. Two minutes later, F asks if there is any butter as she now doesn't want to dip the bread in sauce, she just wants bread and butter.

I go and get her the butter. She eats bread and butter.

Long story short (C looking embarrassed, DP shocked, me fuming) when dessert comes out, she seems pleased and asks what kind of tart it is. i say blackberry. She says she's sorry, but she doesn't eat anything picked from the wild.

I ask her does can I get her anything else, she ends up eating mini jammie dodgers from the biscuit barrel. They leave soon after.

I am still not over the shock and have told DP she's never coming round for dinner again- or if she does, I'm not counting her in

[YourMaNoBraBackOfMyHearse]

I know someone who takes her own food to dinner parties. Not too unreasonable you may think (allergies etc) until she gets in your way trying to heat up a Findus boil in the bag chicken curry. I wanted to twat her one.

[ShakeRattleNRoll]

John Mccrick (after and before he's lost his case)

[PoppyAmex]

I judge fussy adults and find them tiresome.

I'm especially annoyed by those who are under the misapprehension that their ridiculous behaviour is "quirky" and "endearing".

[Onesleeptillwembley]

Oh well, Alleyalleyo her ship has sailed. ;-) Are you a Manc or Lanc?

[runningonwillpower]

I just don't understand why picky eaters irritate me so much. After all, it's their business what they eat. So why am I bothered?

My particular pet is with people who feel the need to pull a face or make remarks like ' boak' every time a food they happen to dislike is mentioned. Why does that irritate? It's not like the food in question is my personal invention.

So, why do picky eaters annoy?

[expatinscotland]

Why sit and suffer these people if you are another guest? WTF? A shocked, 'My god, did you mean to be so very rude?' from one guest to another is acceptable. Or people who rock up, 'We don't like that, but we'll have an omelette,' as another guest I'd be the first to pipe up, 'It's not a restaurant.'

The SS who makes a drama should be called out or sat at another table or kitchen. 'Why?' 'Because the rest of us want to enjoy our meal without your melodrama.'

[runningonwillpower]

Oh PoppyAmex, I have often thought the exact same thing about Affected quirkiness.

A friend's child doesn't eat bacon because pigs 'are cute'. So, that'll be cartoon pigs you don't eat.

But why do I care?

[expatinscotland]

I'd care because such fussy people are attention-seeking twats who ruin a meal by trying to focus it all on me, me, me! Look at me! I won't eat this/that/etc, everyone dance round it and feel awkward because I'm Not Eating.

Fuck 'em! Oh, okay then, have some bread and butter. 'Oi, paws OFF the pastry! The rest of us want some. Go find a takeaway if you don't like what' here.' 'I don't like that.' 'Great, don't eat it then.'

[expatinscotland]

As another guest, I'd call them out because such people are attention-seeking brats who don't want everyone else to have a good time. There are a thousand different cutting ways to tell such people to fuck off without saying it. :o

[MrsKoala]

Running - i'm the same about people making 'sick' faces and noises (there was a thread about a spectacularly rude MIL who made faces and comments at xmas dinner and looked into the cranberry sauce and plopped it down whilst saying something about starting her period - i still fantasise about telling her what an incredibly rude twat she is). My mum does it and started doing it recently about 1 yo ds's dinners, particularly liver, fish pie and cauli cheese. I pulled her on it last time saying it was rude to me who had cooked it and rude to ds who was enjoying eating it (they are his faveourites). She isn't expected to eat it, or even feed it to him, so why stand behind me while he's eating making vomit noises. She of course told me i was being totally ridiculous because ds couldn't understand her

[DameDeepRedBetty]

The 'wild food' thing reminds me of when DM, me, DTDs, Dsis and Dnephew were happily demolishing a huge bank of wild raspberries in the woods. The dogs were having a whale of time with the ones at their level too. A large bunch of grockles appeared and were deeply shocked, they had absolutely no idea that raspberries actually grow on wild plants rather than in plastic punnets, one in particular was terribly earnest in telling us that we would almost certainly all die from eating wild berries.

Thank heaven they didn't find us in mushroom picking season!

[runningonwillpower]

Here's my thing.

I know a very fussy eater. It drives me insane.

But even in the hypothetical arguments in my head, I find it hard to answer this one question from the picky eater, 'what's it to you what I eat?'

So, help me win this hypothetical argument in my head. (Because I'd never actually confront the picky eater.)

[sparrowfart23]

Am I the only one surprised how many fussy adult eaters there are on this thread? I really thought my DH's family are weird about food, but maybe they are more normal than I realise.

willpower - I feel the same. It is intensely irritating when you get asked to specify every single ingredient in a meal before your BIL someone will even try it (and I am not talking about allergies, vegetarians, or religious restrictions), or you get the extended monologue on why the food you are eating is distasteful to SIL said person. I don't mind when people express preferences in a low key way, but abhor the drama! I get a bit narky (though I try to hide it) when my inlaws say they hate xyz in front of DD, as I am trying to train her to be polite about food and try everything.

I learned a lesson as a teenager when visiting a friend's aunt. They asked if we liked liver and we both said 'ugh, no' and then found out that's what we were having for lunch! My friend only ate the sauce and noodles (it was a liver goulash) but I had some to be polite and found I liked it. This is why I keep sneaking parsley into food periodically even though DH says he doesn't like it.

[trashcanjunkie]

oh bless you op. She sounds like a woman in fear of food and massive denial. My worst dinner party story doesn't involve fussy guests, but christ I fucked it up. I had two couples coming, and one of the people was veggie, so I thought I'd push the boat out and do a really tasty veggie meal. Dp kept joking all week about how nice the menu sounded, with a short pause, and then shouting 'but where's the meat' hmm... not amusing three days later. On the day before the dinner I cooked the food in advance. There was a potato dauphinoise, some slow roast veg and a cauliflower cake (savoury massive deep quiche like item) I have cooked all of these things before, and normally they're great. For some reason on this occasion, the whole lot was raw!! I couldn't fucking believe it as dish after dish was alternately runny when it should be solid or solid when it should have been mushy. Worst of all the one thing that had cooked was the roast veg, which I'd done with clementines in, but had meant to warn the guests so they didn't get a culinary shock, and I was so distracted with the raw stuff, I bloody forgot. My friend ended up spitting it across the table as she thought it was a very wrong carrot!! I had just enough to drink to get the giggles, and instead of apologising, just laughed and said I didn't care cos it was so funny! Luckily they all agreed, and we fed on starters, cheese and crackers, then cheesecake made by dp...... phew!

[Dillytante]

It's ok not to like certain foods as a grown up. Far better to enjoy a meal than force down something you don't like. Doesn't excuse twatish behaviour though.

[sparrowfart23]

willpower - don't think I can help you win the argument, sadly. I have a friend whose exH didn't like loads of quite common things, so she felt she couldn't have them. My inclination is not to pander too much to the pickiness - see comment above re parsley - but it would likely fuel resentment if you were cooking for pickyperson and they were always fishing bits out (my BIL is a master of the ostentatious fish-out). I couldn't have a relationship with a fussy eater, I'm afraid. Thankfully DH is the least fussy of his sibs, and only has a few things he doesn't like. I think the younger ones learned it was a way of getting attention/exerting control. MIL confessed recently that she used to give BIL chocolate milk as an infant yet wonders why he drinks so much coke.

[MILLYMOLLYMANDYMAX]

A work colleague of dh only ate fish fingers and chips with a cup of tea and a slice of bread and butter. His wife left him on their honeymoon because he would only go to a seedy pub where they served fish fingers and chips. Could never understand that she hadn't noticed this strange habit, then later we found out he had never taken her out for dinner. He then tried to sue her during the divorce for about £40 being the number of drinks he had bought her over the 6 months they were engaged that she had not reciprocated with her round. He had made a note of times and dates and drink prices.

[HerRoyalNotness]

I tbink it sounds lovely. The only things I won't eat are offal and leeks, i normally say at invitation.

I haven't really had a bad dinner guest, although friends put hot sauce on every friggin thing they eat. That becomes tedious. They've burnt their taste buds off long ago, it becomes texture and hot sauce.

I did have a bad co host one time. A dozen people including 2, finding out at last minute, vegetarians. It was her idea, her invite list. She borrowed my apartment as it was bigger and needed help cooking. I sorted the menu, she helped shop for ingredients and helped carry a table in from the neighbours. Then said, i'm off for a run!! Meanwhile I cooked a 3 course Moroccan style dinner. She came back and was bewildered that i didn't need any help. Then one of her vege guests complained about the special vege dish I'd cooked with one day notice, having never had to cater for one before. Was some kind of stuffed eggplant iirc

[NadiaWadia]

These people who can't identify a blackberry or a raspberry and think all food from 'the wild' is highly dangerous.....
Take comfort in the fact that when/if civilisation should collapse these idiots will be the first to starve to death because they won't be able to forage!

[AveryJessup]

Flogging: there is still a difference between the farm-grown blackberries that Sainsburys use and wild blackberries from the side of the road covered in dust and car fumes etc. or do you think that Sainsburys has their illegal immigrants staff out on the roadsides picking wild fruit?

[Toadinthehole]

I expect the grockles overheard some remark about city-slickers and decided to wind you up.

[Lazyjaney]

But even in the hypothetical arguments in my head, I find it hard to answer this one question from the picky eater, 'what's it to you what I eat?

It's a big red flashing light that they will be difficult "quirky" in many other aspects of life.

[Lazyjaney]

I was also wondering if the OPs guest is busy trying to remove her new bf from all his old mates.

[ll31]

Complete tangent but sparrowfart, am not seeing connection by getting choc milk as child and now frinking coke!! But I'm only just awake...s

[friday16]

'what's it to you what I eat?'

It's rare for someone who is fussy, attention-seeking and immature about food to not be fussy, attention-seeking and immature about other things. Why ignore a warning flag?

Anyone who's been on holiday, or indeed just tried to find somewhere to eat after a meeting when travelling on business, with a fussy eater will know how tedious they are. It's best to avoid them as friends to save the hassle.

I also suspect, on no evidence, that they are shit in bed.