DP's friend C came round last night for dinner, with his new girlfriend, F. We have only met her briefly, in the pub.
We invited them over last night, I did a slow-cooked pork and apple thing, with blackberry tart and whipped cream for dessert.
Initially I'd done the whole 'we're having this for dinner, hope that's OK' and C had gone 'ooh lovely', no objections from F.
When I served dinner, she just sort of looked at her plate and said 'actually, I'm a bit fussy. I'll have a bit of the sauce though, and a slice of bread to dip in'.
Cue apologies from me, are you sure that's all you'll eat etc. She maintained it was fine, she'd just have a bit of bread. I was pissed off, but whatever.
I brought her the bread and continued my own dinner. Two minutes later, F asks if there is any butter as she now doesn't want to dip the bread in sauce, she just wants bread and butter.
I go and get her the butter. She eats bread and butter.
Long story short (C looking embarrassed, DP shocked, me fuming) when dessert comes out, she seems pleased and asks what kind of tart it is. i say blackberry. She says she's sorry, but she doesn't eat anything picked from the wild.
I ask her does can I get her anything else, she ends up eating mini jammie dodgers from the biscuit barrel. They leave soon after.
I am still not over the shock and have told DP she's never coming round for dinner again- or if she does, I'm not counting her in 
AIBU?
AIBU to think this was worst dinner guest ever
AlleyAlleyO · 03/10/2013 16:42
That pork and apple dinner sounds gorgeous, and so does the blackberry tart, I'd have scoffed the lot! 
From what you've said she definitely sounds to me like she has issues with food.
Especially the bit where she was going to dunk the bread in sauce and then 'couldn't' and just wanted butter. 
Alley
I figured it out! She must be a fruitarian, like one of Hugh Grant's dates in Notting Hill!
Will : "..so these carrots"
Keziah : "Have been murdered, yes"
Will: "Murdered? Poor carrots. How beastly! "
These are 
I have a similar story to the pastry one. I did a buffet dinner for about 10 people, 4 (all one family) are veggies. I did Lamb mousaka for the meaties and veg lasagne for the veggies. The veggies ran to the table first when i brought out the food and whilst i went back into the kitchen for the salad, helped themselves. When i brought the salad out the mousaka dish was just a baking tray of mince and the lasagna was untouched. I looked round and the veggies plates were piled high with the topping they had scraped off the mousaka. I asked what they were doing. They said they didn't fancy lasagna but love mousaka and not to worry they didn't mind only having the topping. I said but i fried the aubergine and spuds in the meat pan and made them the lasagne specially. Not to worry they said, they didn't mind. They were acting like my annoyance was really worry for them, and not because they had massacred a dish i spent hours preparing. They were thick as pig shit and genuinely thought my obvious anger was concern for them.
I think tho i would have had to question her. My incredulity would have been overwhelming. Did you not laugh and question the sublime 'from the wild' comment? Did you not ask what she does eat then? And then point out laughingly it is ALL from the wild?
My sister got really cross with me because i told her children (9) that the macdonalds they were eating was not special vegetarian burgers that they made specially for them which just looked and tasted like the meat burgers. How the fuck was i supposed to know the elaborate lie!?
Where do you think Sainsbury's get the berries from??
They don't appear fully formed in the plastic punnets, you know.
A rude guest story from me...
Friend had been invited for dinner. When I served up the food I'd spent ages choosing and preparing, he said, "Actually, I'm not really hungry. I stopped at a gallery opening on the way over and there was free food..." 
Omg how rude!
My sil is a bit like this and it drives me mental, she is incredibly fussy about what she will eat, unless its chocolate or biscuits... And she will sit and push the food around in the plate and make faces and do a hideous cough that sounds like she is going to puke. Every time she visits she has a new 'allergy' she is allergic to cheese....but pizza is OK drives me fucking mental, I used to make an effort to cook something she said she liked but as she continued to fuss even over things she said she liked I have stopped bothering and make whatever.
Last time we had beef bornigion (sp) and she spent ages 'chewing' bits of beef and then took them out of her mouth into the side if her plate 
it had been cooked in the slow cooker for eight hours and melted in your mouth ffs.
My two year old has better manners!
Drives me mental but DPs mum and other relatives insist on pandering to it, else she will cry/be sick...
ExP used to brew beer. To celebrate the latest batch of beer he invited a good friend over to sample it and made a meat pie to go with it. His friend arrived at the designated time with his teenage son in tow.
The teenager announced that he didn't like meat pie or beer. I'm afraid I very rudely told him that he hadn't been invited and that he didn't have to have any. 
That menu sounds lovely please point us in the direction of your recipes!
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We had a guest for dinner a while back who kicked off the evening by asking me if I'd managed to lose any weight since we'd last got together, regaled me with a week by week account of her own weight loss via a well known slimming club and proceeded to pick all the tempura batter off the king prawns (starter so there were only five each).
She then lit up at the table between courses and after dinner had a pop at me for missing a move in the game we were playing.
In spite of the batter removal she managed to eat pudding, put a sizeable dent in the cheeseboard and wash it down with at least one bottle of wine !
Normally get on OK but...grrr...
Worst meal I ever sat through was the one my first boyfriend cooked when I went round to meet his parents - liver casserole, boiled potatoes and peas. I ate the lot even though I couldn't stand any of it. Thankfully his mum's puddings more than made up for it .
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