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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that if someone called me a 'white bitch' I would not find that racist

198 replies

Brigantia · 02/10/2013 21:23

I've been reading the 2 asian guys chased me thread and I'm a bit confused.

If someone said to you 'white bitch' would you think that was a racial slur?

I wouldn't ..I'd just think they were arseholes

I'd be more concerned about the 'bitch' bit

OP posts:
tethersend · 02/10/2013 21:58

"tethersend, oppression in the past does not make it more acceptable to insult or verbally abuse anybody now. It's unacceptable no matter who it's directed at"

Unacceptable, yes. The same, no.

MurderOfBanshees · 02/10/2013 21:58

People have given you examples of words being used as insults when they are originally used as factual statements, it's the intent behind it.

Original poster
Brigantia · 02/10/2013 21:59

No don't think so LordElpuss

OP posts:
Minnieisthedevilmouse · 02/10/2013 21:59

Op, well similar happened to me several times at uni in debates. Also on a night bus late at night in London . I've had more "white slut" "western whore" "white bitch" than I frankly find amusing. I've been told I'm "asking for it" because I'm white/blonde stereotype from Essex. Oh and that could I talk again as "I talk so common like white girls are".

I was surprised the first time. Now, well, it saddens me and makes me mad. It's why I KNOW it's supposed to be insulting because otherwise why is my colour or place of origin important? I empathise with those who have had / felt this and are a minority because I'm a majority and it made me feel shit.

Original poster
Brigantia · 02/10/2013 22:02

"When someone called me a "white bitch" and told me to get back to my own country, I felt that was pretty racist."

Me too. I had Scandinavian thrown in to the mix. Being Scandinavian is not an insult, but added together with bitch, or C..t it is.*

ok I live in edinburgh.......where do you guys live that people are talking to you like that?

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 02/10/2013 22:03

Of course it's racist. And illegal.

tethersend · 02/10/2013 22:04

I don't agree that intent is the only definition of racism.

My Grandma has no malice at all when she speaks about the lovely dog her childhood friend had called 'nigger', but the word is still racist.

Original poster
Brigantia · 02/10/2013 22:05

wow erm I don't know what to say having read this posts.

Sorry Blush

OP posts:
OliviaPope · 02/10/2013 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FreudiansSlipper · 02/10/2013 22:07

i do not agree it is only racist if it is with intent

too many times i have heard racist terms being used as a oh so hilarious joke Hmm

SunshineSuperNova · 02/10/2013 22:08

Racist and misogynist.

Of course, it doesn't compare to receiving racist slurs or discrimination on a daily basis.

Stravy · 02/10/2013 22:09

Birmingham. Or at least I did when I was refused entry to a restaurant that DH and my BILs and SILs were already in. I was called a racist term for a white person in a language that they thought I wouldn't understand and told that I couldn't go in because it wasn't for 'people like you'. It was really aggressive and I was holding my (mixed race yet blonde) baby.

Interestingly I've had 'Western whore' type remarks when out at night. in 'Burgh but it was years ago, 15 at least. (also had similar in London, notts and Brum x1000)

tethersend · 02/10/2013 22:09

" There aren't categories of seriousness based on past events."

I disagree- look at the laws in Germany which forbid the display of the swastika.

FreudiansSlipper · 02/10/2013 22:10

seriously you think your racist abuse equates to that your friend has. are you not aware that there are political parties that would like your friend and family to go home

you do not have that it is not backed up by political parties or some areas of the media

Hayleyh34 · 02/10/2013 22:10

Of course, it mentions race

tethersend · 02/10/2013 22:12

Surely nobody can argue that centuries of slavery, genocide, empire and oppression are over now and all races are on a level playing field?

Assuming not, why then would anyone think that racist abuse is the same no matter who it is aimed at?

ChanelTunel · 02/10/2013 22:13

Me too. I had Scandinavian thrown in to the mix. Being Scandinavian is not an insult, but added together with bitch, or C..t it is.

Have to laugh at this one. To call anyone 'ya Scandinavian' anything,sort of sweetly dilutes the insult.

KatyTheCleaningLady · 02/10/2013 22:17

YABU. Of course it's racist.

I'm not sure how anyone could think otherwise.

KatyTheCleaningLady · 02/10/2013 22:19

I've been called "American" in a way that clearly expresses the speaker's contempt for Americans. Being American isn't the point.

NadiaWadia · 02/10/2013 22:26

What thread are you talking about? Link?

BTW, of course it's racist.

waltermittymissus · 02/10/2013 22:28

seriously you think your racist abuse equates to that your friend has

Freudian it's not for you or anyone else to decide she shouldn't feel as insulted/upset/intimated.

I think this "my racism is worse than your racism" stuff is pretty dangerous actually.

You might as well say "your white so you're open to abuse since white people weren't oppressed". It's quite ridiculous!

caramelwaffle · 02/10/2013 22:29

Yes of course, it is racist.

And misogynistic.

tethersend · 02/10/2013 22:34

"You might as well say "your white so you're open to abuse since white people weren't oppressed". It's quite ridiculous!"

Nobody is saying that, Walter.

I think there is consensus that to refer to someone's race whilst insulting them is unacceptable.

But history contextualises those insults. They are not on an equal footing. Their impact is therefore not the same.

ChanelTunel · 02/10/2013 22:35

Going back to the OP,the important point is someone being chased,isn't it?

FreudiansSlipper · 02/10/2013 22:35

no i am not saying that at all but i do not for one minute think white (i should say christian) people suffer from racism the way black or asian people do

i am saying that her friend would have experienced racism far more, she will be judged for being Pakistani and as i said their are political parties backing those that abused her friend

there is not if you are white, if you are white are you judged on your colour everyday do you have to prove yourself no we do not