aibu to want my partner to build a relationship with my dd?

[zimzala]

my partner of 2 years has consciously avoided forming a relationship with my dd.dp appears jealous of dd and shows in indirect ways dissatisfaction (moodyness for days) at any choices i make regarding dd.i get criticism often too.yet when i ask for help dp instead of this dp says they dont have any interest in kids stuff.also when dp cleans the home dd's room is ignored and always has been.when asked why the answer was it was a respect thing...dd doesnt come for cuddles anymore in a morning as dp finds it uncomfortable when she gets into bed even though it was always my side.dd drinks heavily and doesnt talk when i try to reason.relationship is in meltdown.do i stay or do i call it a day? any views will be gladly received.dd is 7 years old and has sn...

[ImTooHecsyForYourParty]

Doesnt make a difference.

[zimzala]

thankyou all...

[Sparklysilversequins]

Well get HER out then! hoping this wasn't an experiment to see if we would assume this person was a man, what with the consistent use of they throughout the post

[Tuon]

Pack up and leave, you guess?

Good lord, I thought maybe the earlier posts were harsh and there'd be some reason or redeeming feature, perhaps you needed a rant and had painted a bleaker picture.

Your seven year old ds has told you how she feels, she knows she should come first, why don't you. You're her mother, you 'guess' you could ask him to leave....

[Tuon]

Pack up and leave, you guess?

Good lord, I thought maybe the earlier posts were harsh and there'd be some reason or redeeming feature, perhaps you needed a rant and had painted a bleaker picture.

Your seven year old ds has told you how she feels, she knows she should come first, why don't you. You're her mother, you 'guess' you could ask him to leave....

[Bluestocking]

Get rid of this horrible partner, OP! You and your daughter deserve better.

[Tuon]

Same advice.

[jacks365]

Get rid of her then.

[zimzala]

no experiment sparklysilersequins,just needed a female view and some advice.

[pozzled]

OP, I guessed from your carefully gender neutral OP that your do was a woman.

Fascinating that other posters immediately assumed the opposite.

The answer is the same though- how can you share your life with someone who won't accept your dd?

[zimzala]

yes,i agree pozzled but their views are very helpfull all the same.and the answer is, i cant...

[Finola1step]

Agreed. Does not matter what gender either of you are. The only person that matters here is your dd. You know it's wrong and you know what you need to do.

I will add though zimzala that your ability to take the advice asked for is quite refreshing. A few months ago there was a similar thread but in which the OP defended her partner's treatment of her child. I kid you not.

Get this woman out of your life. Spend time with your dd and remember, when the time is right, there are shed loads if wonderful, kind, funny women out there who will treat your daughter like one if their own.

[GatoradeMeBitch]

Of course you need to finish with her. Your child's welfare should always come first. I'm glad you aren't just accepting it, so many parents do and it's awful.

[Tuon]

Hardly fascinating. This site is mostly women despite being for parents by parents. If no gender is given I don't sit and puzzle out the genders, as it doesn't affect the advice, I go with the mostly likely option, on this site the logical assumption is that op is female unless stated otherwise.

[gobbynorthernbird]

I didn't assume anything. Your DP is a dick and damaging your child and your relationship with your family. She's abusive, you and your DD will be better off without her.

I'm glad you are recognising what an issue this is and hope you do something about it.

[QuintessentialShadows]

Get rid of her. She sounds awful.

Not a holding pen for your family.

[EhricLovesTeamQhuay]

Dump the motherfucker already. Also

It's no great shock that people assume OP is a woman since most mumsnetters are!

[RoonilWazlibWuvsHermyown]

I assumed woman because the vast majority on here are female. But I'm all for equality:



You live with her and she treats your dd like this? Not trying to be rude but

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING MAN?!

[zimzala]

well when confronted she clams up and goes out.only able to talk when full of vino and thats no good as it clouds the mind.ive been soft but never have i neglected dd.she is my world and i kind of hoped there was enough of me to share but after this experience i.ll play it safe and focus on dd as i am a good dad.i was single for 4 years prior to meeting dp after being in a violent relationship with dd's mum and life wasnt that bad so.

[Awomansworth]

Who care... man or woman.

Social workers are kept very busy with individuals who put their partners before their children. You do realise that what you are both doing is emotional abuse don't you! I will never understand this.

Your little girl needs you to be her protector, please protect her and tell your dp to get the fuck out of your house.

This thread has upset me... your poor dd. shame on you.

[GatoradeMeBitch]

That's a bit harsh Awomansworth. We are all familiar with gaslighting and other emotional abuse. It's unlikely that she started out awful. The point is, OP has realised she isn't a good person to have in his kids life and he's doing something about it. Save your 'shame on you's' for all the parents who put their partners first.

[VacantExpression]

I think good for you. Admittedly its taken a while but you are putting your DD first by even posting this thread. Get rid of her (the DP!!) and go back to just you and your DD and find a woman worthy of the pair of you and willing to embrace the package you come as.

[SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots]

Same for either gender. Your dd deserves better.
Sorry.

[Sparklysilversequins]

Surely the drinking is in issue even putting aside her treatment of your dd? Honestly I would be packing her bag and putting her out immediately.