To have organised my daughters birthday in this way?

[JeremySmile]

My 6 year old wanted a party with themed crafts for the girls and then a bouncy castle with the boys. Rather than having the boys waiting around/distracting from the crafts (can't afford to do crafts for boys and girls particularly as the boys in question very likely wouldn't be interested in crafts) I sent the invitations with different arrival times for boys and girls. The girls get 1.5 hours to do the girly things, then the boys join them for the remaining 2 hours of the party for food, games and the bouncy castle. No one that's invited has a boy and girl to bring, so it doesn't make life difficult for anyone. However, one of the boys mums has commented that he'll be 'upset' that he didn't get to be there for the whole party. AIBU in doing this?
Also, my daughter handed out the invitations at the end of the school day and they were a bit different to usual invitations (not just your standard envelope) and two of her classmates were crying because they hadn't received one. There are 30 children in my daughters class so no way I could afford to invite them all, my dd had written a list of who she wanted to invite based on who she plays with. Neither of the crying children had invited dd to their party, yet their mums both gave me filthy looks and were making a big deal of consoling them. First of all I felt bad and that maybe I should've made more effort to hand the invitations to the mums of invited children discreetly, but then dd pointed out that she didn't cry when she wasn't invited to their parties, and 'they've got to understand they can't have everything in life at some point'. These children had handed out their invitations at school too. AIBU for doing this and thinking the dirty looks aren't justified?

This is the equivalent of only being invited to the evening 'do' of a wedding, but based on gender!

Are the girls going to tidy up the aftermath of the party too while the boys retire to the drawing room for cigars and brandy?? Hahahahahaha! That nearly made me spit my tea out

We have always had craft based parties for DS (now 7) and just put our a range of things, the boys have always used the flowers and sequins as well as superhero stickers etc. Wands and wing can easily be made unisex so it just seems a little odd to divide purely on gender. All the boys we have invited have always got involved with the craft.

Her friends parents wouldn't ferry them to two separate celebrations on separate days. And surely if I'd asked if that was acceptable on here I'd be told I was spoiling dd for making such a fuss of her birthday that she has two celebrations!

So if her best friends happen to be girls then that is your imvite list. At 6 you don't need a friends tier and a classmate tier of birthday party.

This is nuts. The sensible thing would have been to do a cheaper craft (and BOLLOCKS do boys not like crafts, primary school children seem to spend half their lives painting, cutting and sticking) and then the bouncy castle and food FOR EVERYONE.

But you know, do it your way. Gotta get them used to their roles in life nice and early.

you don't have a second tier

Um, yeah you can! Did you never go to a part where a couple of close friends stayed overnight afterwards. Or a few closer friends went to the cinema then loads of people back for birthday tea?

Never too young to teach them their place in the world. I do hope you're buying her some chains for her birthday, it won't be that long before you need to teach her that her place is to be chained to the sink.

Stand back for home time when all the little boys are crying cos they haven't got sparkly wings to take home!
YABU

This is weird. Why not have a shorter party with craft and bouncy castle, and some craft activities which you deem sufficiently manly that everyone will enjoy?

YABU, my sons love wands and wings, Harry Potter and dragons make them cool for boys, but then fairies must only be for girls and boys don't have gender stereotypes that make pink things wrong do they?

fucking hell

YABU to have such a convoluted party. Why not just have a party with a bouncy castle and a craft table, and then girls and boys could each choose their involvement. Or have one or two girls round to tea sometime and do crafts then?

YAalsoBU to give out invitations in class when lots of kids not invited. I think this is horrid and shouldn't be allowed.

It seems like a lot of unnecessary hassle and faffing about.

Why not have a smaller amount of people all doing crafts? And then all having a go on the bouncy castle afterwards?

If you are so sure that the boys would have chosen no crafts, just invite them to the party and tell the parents that they can come to crafts, bouncy castle, all, one or none. See what they choose.

My DD wouldn't be going to a party segregated on gender lines. That is a lesson I won't her to learn when she is studying civil liberties, not at a birthday party.

Dividing a party of young children up into 'tiers' along gender lines, with the top tier getting to enjoy double the fun/activities/length of party than that of the bottom tier, is a really crappy thing to do imo.

It may be what your 6yo daughter wants, and yes it is her birthday, but she's SIX and knows no better. You, as the adult, should be guiding her decision-making to ensure that things are arranged fairly and with some sensible diplomacy.

Imho it's also a parent's job to educate their dc that boys and girls are equal. I'm sure you'd be quick to cry 'sexism' if your dd was being unfairly excluded from something that was 'only for boys'.

Fwiw, my ds adores crafts and hates bouncy castles. He also loves wings & wands. I know, shocking eh?!

I wonder what your reaction would be if a boy had a party and only invited girls to half of it? Why on earth shouldn't the boys do crafts?

OP: AIBU?
Everyone: Yes! Very! and sexist to boot!
OP: No, I'm not! I'm right! stamps feet

And the point of posting was, OP?

Nevermind the gender stereotyping - do you realise you have organised a party of 3.5 hours long, are you mad? 2 hours would be my threshold!!!

For all the reasons above, YABU.

Yabu.
It is her birthday, but she is old enough to know that she can only have ONE party, not two amalgamated where the kids get to do different things, at different times.

If you cant afford it, you cant!

The boys who got the shorter party with only a bouncy castle and food were treated as inferior party goers.

I think I'd have had crafts (cheaper ones) and bouncy castle at the same time. It would have made for a shorter party which has to be better for the sanity of the grown-ups! All my ds's friends love crafts. He's the same age as your dd and a lot of the boys in his class love crafts and (whispers) even glitter!

Sounds like a faff. I wonder if any of boys will turn up, bit of an insult to be invited to only half a party with no fairy wings/wands to show at the end of it, boooo!

Dd had a craft party for her birthday. We did different stations with cupcake decorating, bracelet making, badge making, party bag decorating etc with face painting and sports day games. Everyone was free to do what they wanted - girls and boys!