'veggies don't eat fish' friend fall out

[mrsfuzzy]

i'm a veggie i eat dairy produce, but no fish and meat nor have i done since i was a young child, i met a new friend three months ago and she asked about becoming a veggie which she was proud to tell everyone about but she still eats fish, i said that veggies didn't eat fish and that shell fish etc are 'banned' by the veggie society. i like her but she's got a bee in her bonnet and refuses to speak to me, we didn't argue about it about it at the time, i don't understand.

That would make sense, but there's nothing underneath that goes into greater detail. Just a "v" next to it or just put in the vegetarian option list.

If they can't be bothered to explain that it's actually fake-oyster sauce, I certainly can't be bothered to ask if it's worth us buying it.

We'll stick with their chips!

lol they do the best chips, it has to be said.

I was vegan for couple of years when younger and was pretty hardline about it (no wool, no silk, no honey, no cochineal, no fishy wine etc etc etc.) I now eat meat and love it (although my diet is pretty low on meat at the moment because I am poor!!)

I have this argument with my mum all the time. She describes herself as a vegetarian but eats fish, isn't bothered about gelatine or rennet etc. However if we're out for a special dinner and I have my ultimate treat of a rare steak she makes a big song and dance about how disgusting it is, how she can't look, the poor cow etc etc. I will have to introduce her to the brilliant phrase 'fishandchipocrite'!!!

I want chips now, and I did it to myself.

BigJessie yep me tooo.
I'm going to my mum's for the weekend actually and we're going to the nice pub for dinner tonight, I'm totally going to have steak and chips. *drooling already

OP there are really more important things to worry about, she doesn't meat so classes herself to be vegetarian, so what if she eats fish? It's not hurting you and I can't think of a reason ever for it to be an issue for you? If you go to hers for dinner (which sounds unlikely given your fallout) just remind her that you are a vegetarian that doesn't eat fish.

Actually these ones are this chipocrites favourite choice.

I must get off MN and go shopping.

So I don't eat meat, poultry, fish, shellfish, rennet, gelatin, stock made from any of the above, foods (such as soup) that have been cooked with meat etc in and then had the 'bits' removed, i struggle to describe all the stuff i cannot eat. This is also a bit of a mouthful but luckily, there is a shorthand 'vegetarian'.
I am polite about it but it really annoys me when people call themselves vegetarian when they aren't as it means I have to say the long version every time I eat away from home - restaurants or people's houses. I have had numerous cases of having only fish dishes on menus and having fish cooked for me specially. I have also had situations where a dish that would be expected to be veggie (a veggie sandwich for eg) has fish or meat added which would not be described so I don't know until I have started eating it.
I am not a veggie by choice, these things actually make me v sick (as in throwing up over several days) so I think someone saying veggie instead of just saying they don't eat meat is a little unfair given the consequences to others.
Those pescatarians, please describe your diet accurately as it really makes a huge difference to some people.

I've been offered fish loads of times too, Fairypants. I can't believe it's some rare occurrence that only ever comes up on Mumsnet. I am socially inept enough as it is without being made to look for of an arsehole for turning down food that's been prepared especially for me because people go by what they've seen and assume vegetarians eat fish.

See, even thinking about fish makes me produce ludicrous typos. More of an arsehole

I don't understand why people have a problem calling themselves pescatarian because they don't eat all types of fish/seafood. People don't call themselves vegetarians if they don't like pork but eat all other types of meat Pescatarian just informs people that you do occasionally eat fish of some description rather than saying you are vegetarian - which, if you eat any type of fish, you are not.

It's all semantics, isn't it?
Yes, it's useful to be able to have a word which succinctly tells people what they can and can't serve to you. But taking offence about what other people choose to refer to themselves as...?

That said, if she's really into animal welfare then your mate should definitely let that poor bee out of her bonnet.

I'm pesce-light (can only cope with tuna and fish-fingers) and have felt like a massive twat for saying I eat some fish before a buffet / BBQ. I had assumed it would be pick and mix and I often go hungry at buffets so it didn't bother me.

But the hosts kindly cooked me a whole fish (with eyes and scales) so that I wouldn't go without amongst the burgers and I couldn't even look at it let alone eat it.

Very, very, embarrassing and a reason some people don't use pescetarian.

Its all semantics then, isn't it? If we can use any word to mean whatever we like regardless of the understood use of the word....whats the fucking point of talking to anyone, ever?

That is a tempting thought sometimes I now say I don't eat meat or fish if being catered for but do not describe myself as vegetarian because I'm not. Then invariably get asked, "Oh you're vegetarian then?" Gah!

But most people do understand "I am a vegetarian but sometimes eat fish". It works very well as a label for what I am. It doesn't imply to others that vegetarians eat fish, in fact the opposite.

And I agree with anais that saying pescatarian might imply that I actually like fish. Which I don't. I can just tolerate some types of fish. Also as very few people know what it means it is a crap label.

I was a vegetarian for years and was never offered fish as a vegetarian option (in the UK) anyway. Surely it's pretty obvious if you ask for a veggie sandwich and it contains fish. I think hidden meat by-products are probably a much bigger issue in food labelling.

Wish there was a pun-y name for vegetarians who are pedantic about fish but will happily eat gelatine sweets or wear leather shoes.
Best I can do is "shoes that are hip-ocrite".

I have had people in RL say, "the correct term for you is fussy eater - pestetarian ho ho ho"

Autistic with natural food issues compounded by trauma from childhood abuse, actually, but if it makes you feel better

Peppi, your own phrase - the understood use of the word - is precisely the point. The understood use of the word clearly varies (see above).

Fuckwittery I have absolutely no problem with someone who says 'I eat a mostly vegetarian diet, but I also eat some fish'. What I have a problem with is people who say 'I am vegetarian - I'll have the fish/chicken'. It leads people to believe that those dishes as considered 'vegetarian'.

Takara - this is a small point, but quite crucial. There is a difference between 'I am vegetarian and sometimes eat fish' and 'I eat a mostly vegetarian diet, but also occasionally fish'. The latter being a lot less misleading about 'vegetarian'.

Anais 'Your tuna mayo jacket potato is surprising. Not on' That's the point though isn't it - it isn't 'surprising' at all, it is getting more common to come across stuff like that. We are just saying 'it's not on' but we are told we are being pedantic, rude, mean etc??

MYstuff - because I shouldn't need to say 'I don't eat meat or fish or geletin or animal rennet or....' when there is a perfectly good word that encompasses all of that already 'vegetarian' - it just needs not to be bastardised by people who can't just say 'I don't eat meat'.

just remind her that you are a vegetarian that doesn't eat fish arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I am going to start making note of all of the fish (& other) dishes that appear in the vegetarian section on menus, just so I have some proof when these threads come up, as I am sick and tired of being made out to be a liar.

Anais well, people are incredibly weird about other people not liking particular food that most people like, or having moral objections, or combining food differently.

But I don't think I need to tell you that. You've suffered at the sharp end of it all your life. Sorry for people being gits.

Thanks Jessie

Tarka- it's the 'I'm a vegetarian so I'll have fish' that's a problem, not 'but I occasionally eat fish' which sounds clear to me.
Fish in a veggie sandwich is v hard to identify when a) it is mushed up and applied as some kind if spread and b) you don't know what fish tastes like. It took a few bites of 'I don't like this but don't want to be fussy in addition to being veggie' before I got suspicious and got DH to taste it.

I think that veggie means different things to different people. I thought that veggie meant NOT eating fish only because I grew up in a religious veggie household that didn't recognise fish as anything!

I too was shocked when a friend said they veggie and down the fish and chip shop.

Are there words to identify peope who eat no meat but fish as opposed to people who eat no meat and no fish?

If not, there will always be this issue.

People need to respect each others choices and find ways of explaining them to others so that they understand.
I think it's understandable that pescatarians describe themselves as vegetarian but eat fish as the p word isn't as well known and sounds a bit fancy
But equally I can see how vegetarians might get annoyed with others using the term wrongly, and also not knowing what a vegetarian is.

I'm a pesky pescatarian as like to have some fish occasionally (when out)
but we're all a veggie family at home. DD even went vegan last week, which was interesting - made me use more lentils and beans which was good really.