To be miffed about ds getting 'told off' for the content of his packed lunch

[Squiffie]

DS had a packed lunch consisting of:

A chicken wrap
Banana
Grapes
Rice pudding
A bottle of very dilute squash

In addition to this he had 3 or 4 jelly sweets that I'd popped in with his grapes as a treat, for which he got 'told off' by a member of lunchtime staff. Am I seriously not allowed to choose the contents of his lunch box?!

I think some people (ie parents) have a problem with authority themselves and sadly this gets passed down to their children.

I mean when you look at this, is having a no sweets rule really that unreasonable? Do kids really need sweets in school?

Are some parents more hung up on having to follow a school policy when really they should be looking at the policy and opening up to the fact it is a reasonable request?

Yes schools will have rules and boundaries for everyone, it is how they run a school. Parents moan about the head teacher failing the school but isn't part of the reason parents egnoring the school policies because they know best? If the head sets rules and implements them they get moaned at and undermined and if there are no rules they get moaned at because kids know no boundaries?

What was the saying - before you can have freedom first you must have order.

If kids think they can do what they want in school they think they can follow suit in employment and it does because I see it first hand.

Don't worry it will only get worse when the children start informing on each other about what is in their lunch boxes.

An other child "told" on dd for having half a home-made chocolate muffin. Said muffin contained beetroot and carrots as well as some sugar and cocoa. On the school dinners menu that day was chocolate sponge and chocolate custard. Go figure!

I complain and have no respect for the head at my DCs' school because he is incompetent. The school is in the bottom 20 in England. They are there because of poor management within the school. If the head spends even a nanosecond thinking about school uniform or school lunches then he is wasting his time.

Have rules about things which matter. Rules about trivia encourage a lack of respect for all rules.

But no-one's interested past primary school. It all magically stops. And a huge relief it is too.

IceCream, yes because then the attention turns to obsessively trying to control top buttons (undone or done up), blazers and school shoes. All also equally irrelevant to academic performance but an essential part of trivia management.

Great post nevergetsthebestofme!!!

My 6yo was sad today at being told off for his lunchbox for having "too much added sugar"

He had carrot sticks, apple, water crackers, cheese, homemade banana bread and water. I'm not suggesting this is the finest meal in the world, but I don't think it is worthy of a telling off.

He asked me to put in raisins because his friend with raisins got a sticker for being healthy.

I'm shocked re the raisins they're full of sugar,not great for teeth and should be rationed.

My banana cake would have little sugar as much of the sweetness is in the banana.

Yes to no sweets but a lot of the dried fruit products on sale are little more than sweets- stars,strings etc.

YANBU OP, Things will only get worse when it comes to schools/councils/government telling us what we can and can't do for our kids. I'm already fed up with it.

retropear yes I broke it to him that I don't do raisins. He doesn't even like raisins, he just wants a sticker.

Silly teacher.

It wasn't as bloody strict when I was a kid and guess what? me and most of my school friends have turned out absolutely fine! not overweight (well I am about 5lb overweight but I think that is more to do with the fact I had a baby by c-section 3 months ago than my diet as a child lol) and with no health problems or bad teeth.

The parents who are going to feed their child a lunchbox full of crap will usually do so because they can't afford anything else, or they just don't give a shit and no amount of nagging by teachers is going to change either of those things. Parents who provide their child with a healthy BALANCED lunch like your childs should not be penalized! I'm pretty sure the staff wouldn't be impressed if someone went round nosing into their lunches in the staff room!

OK banana bread isn't the healthiest food on the planet but at least homemade stuff is free of all the chemical crap. Oh well, I expect I'll get over it!

I agree with what 0utnumbered has said.

Havent read all the thread, but what happens if your child will drink very diluted juice but not water on its own?

Whole grain carbs - all carbs have to be wholegrain IamGluezilla?

That would be unpleasant for whoever had to deal with my dc (ds isn't as bad as he was, but DD can't cope with much wholegrain).

The only thing my little darling demands in his lunch box is a kiss

Expecting children to go to school dressed smartly is just as important as education itself. When each individual makes the effort to come to school smart it encourages self respect and pride so when you then take each individual and form a school it reflects on that school as a whole how each child is dressed and I think a school where everyone takes pride in looking smart is going to perform better with that initial self respect from each individual. When you have a school where parents do what the hell they like the initial respect is lost so what hope does anyone have on those kids taking anything seriously?

If a head has no control on how their pupils dress or let them eat chocolate biscuits for lunch because parents egnore the policy what hope is there that that head will have any control over learning?

"there is no need to police lunches"

Really? You obviously haven't seen what is in some kids lunches! A cold mcdonalds hamburger and a mars bar was one memorable one, in a THREE year olds lunch pack.

I think your being far simplistic about the idea of 'respect'.

My children have school dinners and often a packed tea as they spend their life a lot of Time at the dance school. A packed tea would consist of a roll (ham or cheese usually. If cheese grated so as not to use as much) cucumber and carrot sticks, cherry tomatoes, a yogurt, sometimes a homemade fairy cake/ banana bread/ carrot cake. Occasionally for my oldest sushi as she loves it. Bottled water.

I think this is healthy. Other kids who I assume have packed lunches, have "dinner" at the studios consisting of a pot noodle! That makes me cringe!

Expecting children to go to school dressed smartly is just as important as education itself.

My DCs head decided that the students would 'do better' wearing polyester blazers and ties rather than the previous polo and sweatshirt uniform.

Then he succeeded in dragging the school to the very bottom of the league tables.

He wasted time and effort on the canteen and uniform rather than:

• ensuring that the not-fit-for-purpose maths teacher was moved out (she wasnt, none of her top set GCSE resit class went on to pass their retake)

• ensuring that the GCSE history teacher didnt fail to cover the syllabus properly (he did fail to cover the syllabus properly, the students were left having to cover two years in one)

• ensuring that GCSE English coursework was kept safe (it wasnt and examinable coursework was lost)

• ensuring that the GCSE German teacher was actually teaching German (she wasnt, she was marking PSHE homework instead)

• ensuring that the GCSE English course was completed (it wasnt so GCSE students ended up with only half the GCSE they were supposed to finish with)

Still, never mind, at least they all wore blazers and learned to tie a tie.

Except that they didnt because in the interests of uniformity (to avoid having pea size or Windsor knots) the students wear clip on ties.

Well, at least they all eat nice healthy pasta pots from the canteen.

Except that they are expensive so most dont bother and just get a slice of pizza.

Worry - then I guess you have all the answers to run a school.

Installing good rules and boundaries is a key start to running anything and parents should respect reasonable policies and not undermine the school because they think they know best.

I experience first hand the consequences of kids having no respect for school or authority and it usually stems from the parents protesting every little thing the school tries to do to install good boundaries.

I dont have all the answers to run a school. I dont have to, it is not my job. It is not what I am paid to do.

It is the head's job, it is what he is paid to do but he manifestly failed to do what he was paid to do. He focused on the trivia rather than dealing with the important stuff.

This school isnt at the bottom of the league for discipline reasons. It is at the bottom of the league for reasons of managerial incompetence.

A polyester blazer and a pasta pot is no defence against incompetent management.

Creating petty and arbitrary rules does not help to instill respect for authority. It achieves precisely the opposite. Holding the line on ridiculous issues (the lunch box police, obsessions with uniform, etc.) can actually undermine authority about issues that really matter.

It really shouldn't be up to the headteacher/teachers/lunch supervisors to decide what parents feed their children. The school officials should of course be very concerned about what goes into the meals actually provided by the school. But they are overstepping the boundaries of their authority to intrude into the area of lunchboxes prepared by parents.

The sheer breath-taking hypocrisy of it never ceases to amaze me either. When school meals represent a perfect balance of excellent nutrition, then schools might have a point to discourage (but not ban) sweets or whatever. But in reality, school meals are often lacking balance and filled with sugar. Objecting to a few sweets while serving pizza and chocolate cake is truly absurd.