To be miffed about ds getting 'told off' for the content of his packed lunch

[Squiffie]

DS had a packed lunch consisting of:

A chicken wrap
Banana
Grapes
Rice pudding
A bottle of very dilute squash

In addition to this he had 3 or 4 jelly sweets that I'd popped in with his grapes as a treat, for which he got 'told off' by a member of lunchtime staff. Am I seriously not allowed to choose the contents of his lunch box?!

Pt simply - a packed lunch is not the place for sweet treats!

Thankfully we don't have packed lunch police at our school. I often give my DDs a wee treat in their lunch box - a mini muffin or a chocolate coin or a couple of jelly babies etc. This is in addition to a bottle of water, a sandwich, a piece of fruit and a yoghurt. I know this is fine for my children and really don't see anything wrong with that. Although I'm a stickler for school rules in most cases I'd be happy to breach them in this instance.

Oh, and Squiffle, how dare you give your son a banana AND grapes? TWO pieces of fruit! He'll turn into an obese,cavity ridden adult, don't you know! Bad mother....

Oooo, see I started reading the OP and agreeing and nodding my head. I HATE any kind of Packed Lunch Police Crap. Our school says no juice WHATSOEVER, it's water. Oh, and no you're not allowed any chocolate bars either.
Then I read the bit about where you'd added sweets. Sorry, but I can kind of see their point there.
In what way, shape or form is sweets part of a balanced, nutritious diet?!
THEY don't know that it's a rare treat for him and you're going to feed your child baked salmon, asparagus, new potatoes, and spinach on getting home.
For all they know you feed your child Haribos and coca cola bottles all day, every day! Breakfast noon and tea.
I'm all for freedom of choice in lunchboxes, but sweets is taking it a tad too far.

I think that some sweet things are stickier and so worse for teeth. A chocolate bar will melt away.

Certainly a dentist once told me chocolate was better for teeth than syrupy cereal bar type things.

Anyway the point here I suppose is you haven't seen a lunch box code of conduct and they should have given you into trouble not your DS.

YANBU. It doesn't matter if you'd given him a melted magnum and a flask of Irish coffee, whatever is in his lunch box is YOUR responsibility, not your dc's. Why on earth were they telling him off? How justifiably frustrating and depressing would it feel to be told that you are in the wrong about something you've got absolutely no control over? I hate it when teachers do this .

OMG you put a few jelly sweets in your kid's lunch box.

I sm shocked and appalled.

Prison would be too good for you my lady.

And people are seriously ranting that grapes and a banana will make your child obese?

Good grief

As said, there are some very misinformed parents out there at whom you should be directing your ire - not the school.

The school is asking for trouble if they just pick the candy out of the obese kids' lunchboxes or the lunches that are obviously across the board bad.

Come on OP - really? Imagine if all the kids had sweets in their lunchboxws? Would you like to take charge of a classroom full of sugared up kids?

Sweets have no place at school. YABU to send them in.

Our pre school ...all has to be organic...we bring the snacks in and it is amazing seeing my fussy son eat all sorts of amazing healthy stuff like fresh peas out of the pod.....because he is influenced by his peers. No birthday cakes allowed...I love it. He is already accepting the new regime and eating the raw carrots I send in. Save the sweets till your child gets home. Sounds like normal policy to me.

That packed lunch sounds just fine to me sweets and all, fgs its only a couple of sweets after his lunch! This lunchbox thing worries me. First off I decide what my DS eats thank you, and trust me if I could get him to eat a ham salad with grapes and water I would but he wont. My DS has some real issues with food, no doctor or consultants cares as he is growing fine but is documented I hope.

My ds gets want he can and will eat in his lunchbox, they simply cant dictate what to feed our kids, not all kids are the same. Ive been waiting since ds started school for a phone call about his lunchbox and I want to scream well YOU get him to eat something then but I know this would only result in my DS getting very upset. So will I have to bring him home for lunch....????

I would love for my DS to have dinners at school but he would not eat them, everyday is a struggle to get him to eat, he gags and will throw up even smells will do the same. He cant sit on the same table as someone with a hot dinner because of the smell and he will gag and throw up...

Fairenuff - there is no need for pretty much anything in a lunch box. A few sweets are neither here nor there.

My argument is that there is no need to police lunchboxes.

Sugar and behaviour:

I did a quick survey of research papers resulting from the internet search 'how does sugar affect behaviour'. The conclusion was:

sugar does not affect the behavior or cognitive performance of children

Happy to see other papers.

Is it just me who would get a thrill seeing my child enjoying a bit of birthday cake and is a bit shocked at demands to bring in organic peas and carrots as snacks?

It probably is on here.

Dd is nearly 7 and slim with no fillings BTW

there is no need for pretty much anything in a lunch box

Exactly. There are so many things to choose from. If there was a 'no broccoli' rule there would be no fuss.

Schools need rules. They cannot function without them. Imagine being a lunchtime supervisor in a class of 30. Child A is allowed sweets because they otherwise eat a balanced diet. Child B is not allowed sweets because they have far too many in one day. Child C is allowed sweets on the day that they are with Dad but not on the day they are with mum. Child D is allowed sweets but has to eat their sandwich first. Child E is not allowed sweets but often tries to sneak them in, etc.

It's simple. Schools are trying to help a few children get a decent meal, free of sweets. You can also help this child by following the simple rule. No sweets in the lunchbox please.

Why is it a problem?

The nutritional content of the food is irrelevant, it is all about control.

Seeing a box of food brought in from home seems to bring out the bossiness in some schools. They see that box as a challenge to their authority to control every aspect of the school day.

Your child can eat a junk food school meal with approval from the school but anything brought from home has to achieve nutritional perfection not because of nutrition but to put parents off from providing packed lunches.

This is why schools can happily reject a cookie in a lunch box but accept a cookie in a school meal.

Gosh when I was in primary school there was none of this! There used to be a tuck shop at break time were we could by sweets . Oh how times have changed. My Dc's school doesn't enforce any of these kind of rules either.

Well put Worry.

They see that box as a challenge to their authority to control every aspect of the school day.

It's interesting that you phrase it like this and I think I'm starting to see where you're coming from. Schools do have authority to control every aspect of the school day and they need it.

Have you ever worked in a school Worry? Have you seen the school rules in action? For every tiny transgression (oh, it won't matter if my child has sweets/different uniform/is a bit late/etc.) there are loads of others to manage.

Whilst one child can be a drop in the ocean and parents think it makes no difference, together they create a sea of children and some times it can be like trying to hold back the tide.

Rules are not there to annoy you, they are to help the school run smoothly and safely. They apply to everyone for the sake of fairness.

Not worked in a school, only been a governor.

The thing is not the breaking of the rule but the having of the rule in the first place. Why do you need this rule?

when I was a dinner lady we were told "the rule" was no fizzy drinks and no sweets - which to be perfectly honest did not seem at all unreasonable to me as a mum (dinner ladies often have their own kids too )....... sweets included mars bars and milky ways - (but kit-kats were ok... )

if one kid had sweets then others, especially in reception, got upset and wanted a sweetie too.....

we did not "tell off" the kids, just asked them discreetly to put the item away, take it home and say to whoever helped make lunch that these were not allowed..... (if they had nothing else, we went to the hot dinners and got them a pud - low fat/low sugar "chocolate" crunch bears NO resemblance to the tasty stuff we used to have at school by the way)

... there are ways.....

Because a school without rules would be caos! It doesn't have to be militant but you need rules and boundaries in school and children thrive from boundaries not caos.

Is it really that hard to give the sweets after school? Most of the time the kids are fine, it is the parents who are half the battle.

Worry, the army is one thing, but when you get faced with young workers with attitudes of who the hell are you to tell me what to do and what to wear due to years of undermining schools like I have then it a problem and should be sorted out in infants, not when they leave school.

Yes, mners, sugar is so good for you and such an important nutritional addition to your children's diet. Keep giving you little ones those natural sweeties, keep believing that rice pudding is a healthy choice, that squash is better than plain water. Some of you are such well informed can't-see-anything-wrong-with-thaters. Yaboo to the nasty food police sticking their noses in because of the 'few' lunch box incompetents.