These comments:
If the head spends even a nanosecond thinking about school uniform or school lunches then he is wasting his time
Have rules about things which matter. Rules about trivia encourage a lack of respect for all rules
then the attention turns to obsessively trying to control top buttons (undone or done up), blazers and school shoes. All also equally irrelevant to academic performance but an essential part of trivia management
remind me of The Broken Window theory here
It was found that taking care over small, seemingly insignificant problems, prevented them from escalating.
If a window in a building is broken by vandalism and not repaired, it won't be long before more windows are broken and more damaged caused to the building. But if the window is repaired promptly, the building will be left alone, safe and unharmed, for longer.
If a school makes a rule they have to enforce it. If allowances or exceptions are made to uniform, or hairstyles, or sweets in school, etc. then there is no point having the rule. Children could wear what they want, eat what they want and, before long, start coming into school late if they want, or taking days off if they want, etc. It escalates.
"In 2007 and 2008 Kees Keizer and colleagues from the University of Groningen conducted a series of controlled experiments to determine if the effect of existing disorder (such as litter or graffiti) increased the incidence of additional crime like stealing, littering or conducting other acts of antisocial behavior."
"They selected several urban locations which they then arranged in two different ways, at different times. In one condition—the control—the place was maintained orderly. It was kept free from graffiti, broken windows, etc. In the other condition—the experiment—exactly the same environment was arranged in a way where it looked like nobody monitored it and cared about it: windows were broken, graffiti were placed on the walls, among other things."
"The researchers then secretly monitored the locations to observe if people behaved differently when the environment was disordered. The results supported the theory. Their conclusion, published in the journal Science, was that:
One example of disorder, like graffiti or littering, can indeed encourage another, like stealing."
So the school needs firm rules and the parents should respect and follow them:
"People in the community also need to lend a hand towards crime prevention. The theory that Newman proposes is that people will take care of and protect their own spaces they feel they have an investment in, arguing that an area will eventually be safer if the people feel a sense of ownership and responsibility towards the area."
"The reason why broken windows and acts of vandalism are still prevalent is because communities simply do not seem to care for it. Regardless of how many times the windows have been repaired, the society still has to invest some of their time to keep it safe. The negligence of society towards any form of a "broken window" signifies the a lack of concern for the community."
School is a community in itself and when parents attempt to 'bend' the rules, they are showing a lack of concern for the school community that they send their children to every day.
Keeping standards high means seeing those little 'insignificant' rules for what they are. Purposeful, helpful and applicable to all for the good of the community.