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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be miffed about ds getting 'told off' for the content of his packed lunch

294 replies

Squiffie · 25/09/2013 19:48

DS had a packed lunch consisting of:

A chicken wrap
Banana
Grapes
Rice pudding
A bottle of very dilute squash

In addition to this he had 3 or 4 jelly sweets that I'd popped in with his grapes as a treat, for which he got 'told off' by a member of lunchtime staff. Am I seriously not allowed to choose the contents of his lunch box?!

OP posts:
marriedinwhiteisback · 25/09/2013 20:11

In the olden days when I was in primary school we all took sweets to school with us :).

How much did the dinner lady weight. At my DCs school the mums used to snigger about this in the playground - it was all healthy eating - this is what you will put in your child's lunchbox, this is what is fattening, etc.. At least half the staff were obese - some grossly so. It was tempting to stuff the letters in their big fat gobs to honest but we nodded and we smiled; nodded and smiled.

OutragedFromLeeds · 25/09/2013 20:14

Maybe if they'd had the no sweets/healthy lunch rule they wouldn't have grown up to be obese married?! Perhaps it's a 'learn from my mistakes' type thing...

coraltoes · 25/09/2013 20:15

Why do we always need to bow to the lowest common denominator?! Why does the inability of a few to provide a balanced lunch have to mean everyone is ruled by an iron no sweets rule?! I should be about BALANCE not blanket ban of particular items.

Snazzyenjoyingsummer · 25/09/2013 20:16

Hypocrisy doesn't mean advice is bad advice. If your doctor told you to give up smoking, and as you left the surgery you saw him puffing away on a fag, that doesn't make him or his advice wrong. So the issue with staff being overweight is neither here nor there.

phantomnamechanger · 25/09/2013 20:17

sweets have no part in a lunch. your kid can still have them every day if you think they should - just not inside school hours.

if schools did not say "no sweets" some kids would turn up with a bag of jelly babies and a bag of quavers for their lunch. nothing else.

can people really not see the difference, nutritionally, between a chocolate bar/handful of sweets, and a banana muffin, or cake and custard, or sultana flap jack - the sort of stuff schools usually dish up.

MammaTJ · 25/09/2013 20:18

OMG 4 JELLY SWEETS!

Sirzy · 25/09/2013 20:18

Because they have to apply the same rules to all, and banning things which aren't exactly essential foods is much easier than saying "your ok to eat that bar of chocolate but your not"

There is plenty of time outside of school for parents to feed their children as many sweets as they want.

Fairenuff · 25/09/2013 20:18

Why does the inability of a few to provide a balanced lunch have to mean everyone is ruled by an iron no sweets rule?!

How else would the headteacher be able to tell a parent that their child couldn't have sweets in school?

CreatureRetorts · 25/09/2013 20:21

A balance doesn't mean you eat sweets every day!

Fakebook · 25/09/2013 20:22

Next time tell your DS to hide the sweets more appropriately. Grin.

I can understand why the teacher did it though; if one child brings in sweets they'll all start bringing them. Our school doesn't allow squash or fizzy drinks or sweeties. Maybe yours doesn't either?

stopthebusiwanttogetoff · 25/09/2013 20:22

I put three chocolate gold coins in my ds lunchbox today, because they were going on a trip to the museum and it would involve a long walk in the rain and I felt sorry for him. I expected to get told off, but no! Hoorah, they all had crap in their lunchboxes today - it's evidently allowed on trips. Phew.

I understand the policy and the reason for it, I think it's a shame that it is necessary given that most of us wouldn't be sending in stupid lunches, but sadly enough people do send in the "mars bar and two packs of walkers and a bottle of juice" lunchbox to mean the ban is necessary.

diaimchlo · 25/09/2013 20:22

Just a thought..... if it is your child's birthday are they not allowed to take a birthday cake in to be shared around their classmates at home time? Or do the school rules also ban that as well?

MiconiumHappens · 25/09/2013 20:23

My DS school have rules about lunch boxes.

DS is school dinners and is constantly telling me he has had chocolate cake. Now, he is 4 so I'm sure he's exaggerating but I'm still hmmmmm about it.

OutragedFromLeeds · 25/09/2013 20:23

'Why do we always need to bow to the lowest common denominator?! '

That's kind of how society works.

McNewPants2013 · 25/09/2013 20:24

I send DS into school every day with a bottle of flavoured water, it is not allowed. But to be blunt he will not drink water at all and he will go a full school day without a drink if I don't send him in with flavoured water.

I don't see how a few jelly sweets as part of a healthy diet is a problem. I find it make sweets and chocolate more appealing.

I also think if the children who have school meals are allowed a pudding every day, why cant Packed lunch be the same

SaucyJack · 25/09/2013 20:24

Agree with that Sirzy.

Would you rather the dinner ladies went in armed with a pair of scales, and only took sweets off of the fat kids?

marriedinwhiteisback · 25/09/2013 20:24

Well I didn't grow up obese and I had a very well stocked sweet cupboard as a child. I also had lots of fresh fruit, veg, meat, fish, baked potatoes and even foreign food. It's about balance, and developing good eating habits.

Totally agree with the poster who raised the issue of school dinner puddings. Pink custard full of artificial colourings and the worst sort of fat with commercially produced sponge covered in hundreds and thousands is not more healthy than the lunch the op has described - especially when preceded by turkey twizzlers, chips and a stir fry or greasy samosas and few other unsavoury mass produced bits and pieces which was what was on offer when ours were at primary school 5 - 10 years ago.

And if anyone wants to dictate what I feed my children I expect them to demonstrate they eat healthily. "Do as I say, not what I do" the teacher's folly if you ask me - it really doesn't engender respect.

Original poster
Squiffie · 25/09/2013 20:24

Ok, they're allowed squash, juice, smoothies etc with packed lunch as long as they have just water for the classroom. They can hardly say kids can't have squash with pack up as they get a carton of 'pop' with green (cold) choice on school lunches.

I wasn't aware there was a 'policy' in our school hence why I wasn't aware I was going against said policy! What was more annoying was that ds was told that chocolate/cake/biscuits were ok, just not sweets!

He doesn't have the sweets every day either. They were given in a party bag and I just thought it'd be a nice surprise to find a few sweets in with his grapes! His diet is balanced over the day/week etc.

As for whether or not he was 'told off' - he thinks he has been so its the same thing! He feels like he's been in trouble. I believe that school should have contacted me considering ds is 5 and so clearly doesn't do his own lunch.

I phoned school to ask and they confirmed that its only sweets that are discouraged and chocolate bars are ok Hmm

OP posts:
coraltoes · 25/09/2013 20:25

I am, however, a total stickler for rules. So if the school had clear set out rules for lunch boxes I would never transgress, and would wonder why you had chosen to. Your DS could wait til home time for a sweet surely?

LtEveDallas · 25/09/2013 20:26

DD has, every day, a sandwich/wrap, a couple of mini sausages, a piece of cheese and a yoghurt. She also has a juice or squash as she's never drank water (or cows milk). On Fridays I put in a treat, like a piece of Choc, or sweet or biscuit.

The only time she was ever told off was for the cheese Confused. Luckily she said "mum says I have the cheese last as its good for my teeth". When she told me she'd been told off I immediately assumed it was for the treat, but apparently it was because the cheese meant she'd got "too much food" and "didnt need to eat that as well"

I was a bit pissed off.

How about letting teachers teach, lunchtime supervisors, supervise and let parents, parent. Radical huh?

coraltoes · 25/09/2013 20:26

Sorry cross posts. Sounds like the school dealt with it badly. Hope he is ok.

Gruffalump · 25/09/2013 20:27

I just can't understand the hysteria over squash and a few sweets!

In principle I am outraged at the idea of lunch police, but in reality I hope it ensures most children have a balanced lunch.

Fairenuff · 25/09/2013 20:27

if it is your child's birthday are they not allowed to take a birthday cake in to be shared around their classmates at home time?

Some schools don't allow this but most do.

I can't believe how hard it is for some people to understand the difference between sweets and pudding. Schools are teaching children about meals. In real life, meals do not include sweets. A dessert sometimes, yes but not bars of chocolate or sweets.

Do parents really want their children growing up thinking sweets are part of an everyday meal?

lagertops · 25/09/2013 20:28

CreatureRetorts Sorry, I missed where the OP stated they give their kids sweets everyday. And even if they did, so bloody what. It's not exactly (four gums??) forming the main part of her DS's diet.

PeppiNephrine · 25/09/2013 20:29

I don't like being told what to put in a lunch, but sweets? Surely everyone can guess that sweets aren't supposed to be in school packed lunches?