To want to get a breast reduction done privately?

[basilbrush]

I am 35 and have breastfed 3DC for a year each. With the last baby, my boobs didn't shrink back like they did before. They were always big (D cup) but now they are a massive F cup. I am a size 10 on the bottom half so this makes me look even more out of proportion. I am a healthy BMI but I have been dieting in desperation to see if results in a cup size reduction. Although I lost 7lbs, my bra size has not changed one bit.

Shallow as it sounds, all this is making me very miserable. I have a cupboard full of clothes I can't wear and at work, I feel like my chest is the focus of the conversation, rather than anything else. I find myself in tears a couple of times a week as I try to get dressed... I am very proud of myself for breastfeeding my children but now don't feel like myself anymore.

I could afford just about to save up for a BR (breast reduction) over the next year and it is something I really want to do. My DH is dead set against it, however. He is wonderful and supportive in all other ways but this seems to really upset him. His main reasons are:

1. Risks of the operation / complications etc which are totally avoidable as it's not a vital procedure
2. I am being shallow / superficial and should just get a grip and learn to love myself. There are people with much bigger problems in the world etc
3. I am setting a negative example to my daughters about body image
4. I am selfishly wasting money (5-6K) that we need in our savings
5. I may have permanent scarring that he may find ugly and off-putting

I can see that he has very valid points apart from perhaps the last one...? AIBU?

I think it's certainly worth exploring other avenues such as different bras before surgery.

Haven't read all the thread, so apologies if I'm repeating other posts.

"OK - I've measured; my chest is 32" under boobs, and bending forward they measure 38". My bra says 36DD and is perfectly fitting, stays level and doesn't ride up at the back, no 4-boob-effect."

If you're bra was fitting perfectly, you'd would be wearing a 32" bra, in probably F or FF.

Why on earth would you want a garment whose function is to support the spine 4 inches bigger than your back size. Mental

your bra

OP it doesn't sound like your DH is being very supportive. Maybe if you talked to him more about back pain etc. rather than the aesthetic he'd get more onside.

Having said that am 5' and a 32FF / G. I'm a bit overweight at the mo, but even when slim, I've never gone more than a size smaller. I have given up on fitted shirts and would never wear boxy ones at my height.

On the other hand, I have some lovely draping jersey tops and dresses that are fitted round the waist, look great under a suit and make me look curvy but not 'leading with the boobs'. It goes without saying a good bra is a must.

Madasafish you had a reduction at a DD cup !
That's not even a large size. How could you have pain from that? I'm a GG and no pain.

I wouldn't do it. The surgery isn't particularly risky and the chance of a problem with the anaesthetic is minimal if you're otherwise healthy - but why even put yourself at that minimal risk for a totally non essential procedure?

I'm a 32H and a size 12. I don't look unbalanced or top heavy, I wear well fitting bras (and I try every bra on before I buy it - different styles in the same size wear and support differently) and I wear fitted clothing.

If you meet the NHS criteria for breast reduction surgery then I'd have it done by a reputable plastic surgeon within the NHS. And wait.

Madasafish you had a reduction at a DD cup! That's not even a large size. How could you have pain from that? I'm a GG and no pain.

Bully for you. My experience was different. This does not seem to be something you are taking into account.

kentishgirl Ewa Michalak is a Polish bra retailer that's good for asymmetry. Some of their bras have removable pads, so if you put both pads in the smaller side it'll help balance you out. I found their size guide not to work for me at all, and would have been better off sticking with my usual uk size. If you're willing to have the hassle of returning things to Poland to get the right size, I'd definitely recommend trying them. Work out your proper uk size first though.

I had one 10 years ago.

Best decision of my life.

Can I ask why people have all gone private. I was under the impression that if you were in pain or psychological distress the nhs would step in?

I also thought that in the nhs those wanting elective plastic surgery had to be screened by a a psychologist. I assume that could lead to some therapy.

Op I get you have always felt uncomfortable. I'm guessing having larger boobs than your peers as a young teen was tricky and made you feel excluded. I wonder if those same boobs had grown at 19 (when you had been through puberty and left childhood behind) whether you would have grown to like them and appreciate them?

I would maybe have a think about some therapy on body image? first call with surgery a second. Also big baggy tops will make you look and feel worse. Believe me. I tented it up big time post partum

I had it done on nhs but there was never any suggestion of counselling. Having said that, at that stage (many years ago) I was wearing a GG bra, which at that stage was the biggest available in the shops, and I had almost grown out of it, so no amount of counselling could have altered the fact that I couldn't buy a well fitting bra because they simply weren't available in my size.

To be fair to madasfish she had it done fifteen years ago. Bra fitting and manufacturing has come a hell of a long way since then. It's fifteen years since bravissimo launched as a mail order catalogue I think. Before them pretty much everyone was fitting the way marks and Spencer do, and they were viewed as the place to get fitted.

I suspect that if mads boobs could time trave from fifteen years ago and get fitted in somewhere like bravissimo now, then yes they probably wouldn't in reality be a dd. But to her at the time they were.

For comparison when we mystery shopped marks and Spencer they fitted one of us in a 38d. Fitted properly she actually wears a 30gg. If she'd worn that bra for any length of time the back pain would have been crippling.

Statistically I had my surgery in 1998, and I remember excitedly getting my first Bravissimo catalogue before that and crying because even they only had one bra in a size 32GG.

Things have changed so much, and Bravissimo deserve the credit for most of it. If I met Sarah Trevellan (think that's her name) who started it, I think I would fall on my knees with gratitude for the way she has changed the state of bra shopping.

1995 Bravissimo started , just checked their website. I also got the founder's name slightly wrong.

I want to throw them a big party next year!

Slightly over 15 years then, but not that much and I think that for a while they were a niche mail order weren't they? They have made a huge difference and deserve a lot of credit

sorry Statistically I didn't quite mean that to sound like 'oh, you're wrong actually' it was more that your post got me curious as to when exactly I first discovered Bravissimo, which led me to go and look at the website. I think I first discovered it in a little advert at the back of my mums Good Housekeeping magazine.

It was a very thin catalogue at the start and they only sold Fantasie, Rigby and Peller and Triumph, and Kelly Brook was the model on the front! Everything was white and flesh coloured, because obviously us 'big girls' wouldn't be wanting anything pretty or coloured I remember the amazing excitement of being able to buy a black bra for the first time.

But, from little acorns mighty oaks grow!

Ha no I didn't mean it that way!!

I can't believe some posters feel they have the right to tell others that they are wrong and actually their chest is small. I think only the person attached to the boobs can decide that and whether they have backache. DD is very petite?? Oh my. I guess then there are no words to describe my 32A's. To the other more helpful posters, I have been well educated on this thread!! I had no idea that eg 28dd means a different boob size to 36dd, I thought it meant only the back size was different.

Mine are 30jj. I have considered a reduction but was turned down by the MHD, and tbh, that's ok. It is such a big op with all sorts of potential complications and I can't bear the thought of long term problems or worse, leaving my kids without a mum, for something which for me is about vanity. There us some backache, but exercise (with them well strapped down!) helps - I hate em cos of how they make me look, no other reason. So I've learned to live with them, know how best to dress etc.

But this is for me only. I wouldn't presume to tell others how they should feel.

I think it's simply the truth to say that a DD is a very petite size, if the person is saying that they are a size 10, for example. That is most likely a 28DD, which is about a 33 inch bust. People aren't saying it to be nasty, they are drawing attention to the fact that 1) its possible that the poster is self concious about the size of their chest so feels it is bigger than it is or 2) perhaps they are actually in the wrong size. Maybe they are wearing a 36DD when they're actually a 28G.

It's not to belittle people's experience, but truly if a woman with a 33 inch bust feels that she is 'too big' is it not fair to wonder why she feels that way?

MHD? Nhs!

MissDuke, you might like to have a look at thebrabandproject which shows women who have been correctly fitted. That link takes you do the d cups page, ordered by band size. As you can see, on a smaller band size a d cup is actually quite petite. The press tend to portray D cups as being a huge pair of big hooters and it's really not in many cases.

Out of interest, what dress size are you?

OMG the D cup boobs on that link are teeny - anyone who thinks DD's are massive needs educating.

I had a NHS reduction over 20 years ago and I'm now 32ff and whilst I'd never consider myself petite in the boob department they ain't massive.

A local hospital refereed women requesting a breast reduction to be fitted CORRECTLY for a bra and guess what? 80% no longer needed or wanted the surgery afterwards !!!

Says it all really

MissDuke I'm sorry if my comments about D cup being petite upset you, or anyone else. Petite certainly isn't an insult, and I feel from your post that maybe you thought I was sneering at women with small breasts, and I'm certainly not. I envy them in fact.

But I've been thinking about it, and the closest comparison I can think of is if someone started a thread saying that they were a size 6, weighed 7 stone, had a BMI of 15 or whatever, but they felt huge, ungainly, etc, would it not be a reasonable response to be a bit worried about that person's perception of their body, rather than to just say 'well, you know best, if you say you're overweight you probably are'. That's the angle I'm coming from.

The misconception that all DD cups are the same size is what leads women to wrongly label a particular cup size as huge, when actually cup size alone is meaningless. And in turn, that leads women with completely 'normal' sized breasts to feel they are some sort of freak, because, gasp, an E cup is huge for example.

Spot on treacle. There have been a few threads recently from people suffering due to their breasts that they claim are very large, but they have all been about the same size as me (I'm a 30G) and I see myself as medium breasted and don't get any pain even when running and don't feel out of proportion. Therefore there must be an element of body dismorphia in play along with M&S badly fitting bras, so it surely would be unwise to go through major surgery as it may not necessarily solve the OPs problems.