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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to get a breast reduction done privately?

153 replies

basilbrush · 24/09/2013 11:53

I am 35 and have breastfed 3DC for a year each. With the last baby, my boobs didn't shrink back like they did before. They were always big (D cup) but now they are a massive F cup. I am a size 10 on the bottom half so this makes me look even more out of proportion. I am a healthy BMI but I have been dieting in desperation to see if results in a cup size reduction. Although I lost 7lbs, my bra size has not changed one bit.

Shallow as it sounds, all this is making me very miserable. I have a cupboard full of clothes I can't wear and at work, I feel like my chest is the focus of the conversation, rather than anything else. I find myself in tears a couple of times a week as I try to get dressed... I am very proud of myself for breastfeeding my children but now don't feel like myself anymore.

I could afford just about to save up for a BR (breast reduction) over the next year and it is something I really want to do. My DH is dead set against it, however. He is wonderful and supportive in all other ways but this seems to really upset him. His main reasons are:

  1. Risks of the operation / complications etc which are totally avoidable as it's not a vital procedure
  2. I am being shallow / superficial and should just get a grip and learn to love myself. There are people with much bigger problems in the world etc
  3. I am setting a negative example to my daughters about body image
  4. I am selfishly wasting money (5-6K) that we need in our savings
  5. I may have permanent scarring that he may find ugly and off-putting

I can see that he has very valid points apart from perhaps the last one...? AIBU?

OP posts:
treaclesoda · 24/09/2013 14:37

Those measurements equate to somewhere around a 32FF.

treaclesoda · 24/09/2013 14:37

X post.

captainmummy · 24/09/2013 14:40

But how? How could I get into a 32 if a 36DD is perfectly tight on me? I wouldn't be able to do it up! And a cup of FF would be like a pair of buckets, surely?

treaclesoda · 24/09/2013 14:42

A 32FF cup would be just one inch bigger than the 36DD that you are wearing.

treaclesoda · 24/09/2013 14:44

Describing a 32FF bra as looking like a couple of buckets is not particularly sensitive on a thread where the OP has been declaring her hatred for her body, and many others have shared the fact that they too feel sensitive about their breasts.

That is part of the reason why women are so resistant to wearing the correct size, because they are made to feel like freaks for being anything bigger than a 34D.

Binkyridesagain · 24/09/2013 14:48

if FF are buckets then I must be wearing 2 skips strapped to my chest.

I wear a 32J bra, I am not a freak, I am not abnormal. So can we quit it with the anything above the average is not 'normal'

captainmummy · 24/09/2013 14:53

My point about the buckets is that I think my cup size (at DD) is plenty huge enough. I've been told on here that i am 'petite' and I am not. OK i accept that some people are bigger than me but that doesn't mean that I am small. And a FF compared to a DD is like a bucket - to me! I apologise if I've offended anyone - but to be told I am small, when I'm not, (and a poster further up suggested that contemplating surgery was a MH issue!) is annoying, to say the least.

captainmummy · 24/09/2013 14:54

And I meant the FF would be like wearing a pair of buckets with a DD size in them, not looking like them.

treaclesoda · 24/09/2013 14:55

But captainmummy a 32FF and a 36DD are more or less the same cup size, a 32FF cup will not be visibly bigger

treaclesoda · 24/09/2013 14:56

and to clarify, when I said a D cup was petite, I was referring to a 28/30 D, which is what I believed the OP to be, since she said she was a size 10.

A 36D is much bigger than a 28D, and I would agree that you probably wouldn't class it as petite. Nor is it huge.

StuntGirl · 24/09/2013 15:04

When people have been 'trained' that the old way is the One Way it can be difficult for them to get their heads around bra sizing.

Perhaaps try looking at some bra sizing charts captain instead of writing insensitive comments on a bra size thread! I'm sure you didn't mean to offend, just perhaps try being a little more sensitive.

treaclesoda · 24/09/2013 15:05

this blog explains the cup size thing really well.

Binkyridesagain · 24/09/2013 15:09

Captain have you scooped? you might find that whilst your DD appear to fit your breast, breast tissue has migrated under your armpits and around your back.

captainmummy · 24/09/2013 15:16

Sensitive, stuntnun? I've tried to explain that my bra size (36dd) fits me. A 32FF would not fit me, as it would be like wearing a pair of buckets, on a pair of dd boobs. I was not suggesting that people with FF size boobs look like they are wearing buckets.

And No I do not have breast tissue under my arms, over the top, or bulging out underneath. It fits me. I put it on, the way the bra shop told me, by leaning forward and cupping the boobs into it, rather than pulling it over the boob.

goodasitgets · 24/09/2013 15:18

A 36DD is equivalent to a 32F so there's not much in between a 36DD and a 32FF.
Just one cup size

treaclesoda · 24/09/2013 15:19

OK, I get that it fits you, that is fine. I'm not insisting that you go and change the size of bra you're wearing.

But you keep saying that it would be an FF cup on DD cup sized boobs, and all I was saying is that the FF in this case would be almost identical sized cups to the DD that you are currently wearing. So it wouldn't be a couple of buckets gaping on you.

treaclesoda · 24/09/2013 15:21

well, not identical sized, one inch difference in size. But what I mean is that its not a huge gaping difference.

badbride · 24/09/2013 15:22

I second all those who suggest getting a professional fitting done, but have to politely disagree with anyone who says that you can't be a size 10 and wear a 36 inch band. If you're going on for 5ft 11 in with shoulders like an American footballer, I assure you that a 34 or 36 in band is required (even if the bra itself is superfluous Sad).

DownstairsMixUp · 24/09/2013 15:22

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

treaclesoda · 24/09/2013 15:26

But, to take an example, in Next clothing (and they are renowned for being generous sizes) a size 10 equals a bust measurement of just over 34 inches.

So how would it be possible to be 36 inches before adding in your boobs and still be a size 10? Even if you have small boobs, and are only one inch bigger all round, that would equate to a 37 inch bust?

badbride · 24/09/2013 15:31

Good point: I guess it boils down to whose size 10 you mean. I'm stuck with the "tall" section sizes, which are probably cut differently from a normal size 10.

badbride · 24/09/2013 15:32

And also depends on the bra maker: sometimes I wear ones that are allegedly a 34, others a 36.

goodasitgets · 24/09/2013 15:34

Waist comes into it too. If you think about where your bra band sits. Say if you have a 28 waist, you aren't likely to need a 36 band - that's 8 inches difference

Pendeen · 24/09/2013 15:53

Surgery is a huge step to take.

I am 36E and do dislike them intensely - at times. I also have thought about it in the past but TBH it's worth seriously considering some of the good advice given on here before any further steps.

badbride · 24/09/2013 15:57

In a sane world, goodasitgets, you would think so. But my waist hovers around the 27 in mark, and my ribcage in the 34-ish area. Some size 10s fit me just fine, others not. Very few bras advertised as being 34in actually fit properly, ie rest on my breastbone, hence the need for a 36 band. One of the reasons why bra shopping is my second favourite activity after enduring root canal work.

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