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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to send my address first?

131 replies

MrsPeeWee · 23/09/2013 14:06

Long story short.
We bought a 10 week old kitten 2 weeks ago. We didn't feel she was settling in to our family so for that reason (and many others) we decided to take her back to the people we bought her from, just as they had told us too, because if she didn't settle, they'd prefer to take her back.

We took her back yesterday as well as all her food, scratch posts, etc. The lady didn't give us our money back for the kitten. She shouted over to DH as he was walking back to the car that she would pop me a message to get our address and details and post the money through my letterbox today. She hasn't messaged me at all.

AIBU to text her my address, so she knows I would like my money back?
AIBU to even expect her to give us our money back? I'm unsure on what is the right thing to do.

Thanks.

OP posts:

IcedTeaOneSugar · 24/09/2013 07:32

To be harsh but totally honest, I'd be more concerned with the welfare of the kitten, than the £££.

In our house, once they're home they're family.

MrsSchadenfreude · 24/09/2013 07:38

This thread is barking. Oh wait - should that be miaowing?

froken · 24/09/2013 07:39

I think you should wait until the breeder has resold tge kitten before she gives you the money back. She may have to sell for less as the kitten is older now, in that case she should give less back to you.

I'd send a text which said "hi, I hope kitten is settling in back at home with you. When you have organised another home for her to go to and the new owners have paid for her my address is..... so you can pop the money round to us"

I don't understand the logic of buying a very expensive kitten and leaving your family short of money this month. Surely you'd buy s cheap kitten or no kitten at all if you don't have lots of spare money.

Chippednailvarnish · 24/09/2013 07:44

PMSL at very difficult kitten.

Maybe totally incompetent owner would be more accurate.

As for your insistence that people only address the query you want answering, it's not for you to dictate how people respond on a public forum.

AcidNails · 24/09/2013 07:46

My friend breeds pedigree cats. She said she would always rather one of her kittens be well settled, even if that means it being brought back to her to rehome. She doesn't tend to struggle with homing her kittens at all. She also said she would of course expect to fully refund somebody if that were the case.

Think people are being a tad unfair!

whois · 24/09/2013 08:28

You can text your address as a gentle reminder, no harm there.

I do think its pretty stupid that a family with money worries and no experience with cars purchased a very expensive kitten. Oh well, mistake made, no harm done and kitten back with the breeder. Probably don't get another cat yet OP until you know more about them.

FiveExclamations · 24/09/2013 09:06

The woman has said you will get your money back, so rationally you should expect your money back and pursue it if it is not forthcoming. If you look at it like that it is a simple black and white issue.

However, you ask "AIBU to even expect her to give us our money back? I'm unsure on what is the right thing to do." Making it clear that you are seeing this as not merely a financial transaction, but also as a moral one.

So my opinion is, for what it's worth, if she sends you the money good for you, if she doesn't write it off and carefully research and prepare for any future pet purchases (including decent pet insurance, I'm sitting here waiting for the vet to call about my dearly beloved moggy whose liver is threatening to fail and may well cost us £500 before we have to put her down anyway, if you have a tight budget insurance is essential).

Original poster

MrsPeeWee · 24/09/2013 09:20

Thank you, dearly to the last 3 posters.

OP posts:

Lonecatwithkitten · 24/09/2013 09:28

Did you have a contract with the breeder? Did it list their 'returns' policy? It is not abnormal for refund to be only once the kitten is
found another home. I have a little suspicion I know which breed your kitten was and you are not alone in having one as a first time cat owner not realising what an incredibly demanding breed they are, though really good breeders should make you fully aware of this.

MsVestibule · 24/09/2013 09:46

I can't believe a couple of posters have corrected the OP's grammar . So only people with GCSE A* is allowed to post on MN? As long as it's readable and not in text speak, wind yer neck in.

OP, posting on AIBU isn't like having a discussion with your friends where they'll either tell you what you want to hear, or at least be very tactful!

I would give it a couple of days, then gird your loins and phone her to ask when you can expect to receive a refund. It's more difficult to refuse something when you're being asked directly. You have a verbal contract that you will receive a refund and she also told your DH that she would return the money, so fingers crossed.

Morloth · 24/09/2013 10:22

All cats a difficult they are cats.

You are there to please them not the other way around, thats dogs.

I have just come home to a torn apart lizard on white carpet.

That is pretty fucking difficult behavior IMO.

She has made herself scarce though, she knows I am pissed. I am giving her the square biscuits tonight no matter how much she cries for the triangle ones!

Don't talk to be about difficult cats...

WaitMonkey · 24/09/2013 11:38

I'm glad she's back with her mum. You won't get your money back. How much was it exactly ?

TallulahBetty · 24/09/2013 12:06

Shameless lurk to find out how much this gold plated kitten cost...

Seriously though, I don't like breeding of animals when so many are in shelters desperate for homes. However you've got to do what's best for your family OP and hopefully the kitten will soon be with a new family

DidoTheDodo · 24/09/2013 12:11

Our rescue kitten is the best thing ever. But she has already cost us £120 in vets fees (spaying, health checks, microchip etc) and it is every penny well spent.

However, she is awfully difficult as she doesn't speak English and I can't yet translate meowing, and she can't tell the time and tends to wake us up really early.

Lj8893 · 24/09/2013 12:16

at dido

PopiusTartius · 24/09/2013 12:59

She's a pedigree, isn't she OP?
You spent hundreds on her, didn't you?
You thought she'd just lay quietly and prettily in a corner, coming out for occasional grateful fuss, didn't you?
You didn't have a contract, did you? This isn't a reputable registered breeder, is it?

I know you won't answer my questions. That's ok. I think we all know the answers.

By all means, text the woman. You'll probably get something back off her. Chalk it up to experience and don't get pets again.

isitsnowingyet · 24/09/2013 13:18

at popius

We're thinking of getting a kitten (from a rescue home), and reading this thread about awkward kittens with interest.

Our cat was ancient, and have forgotten about the kitten years. What was it doing that was so bad? Besides clawing at furniture/carpets etc.

Chippednailvarnish · 24/09/2013 13:21

What's wrong with an old moggy who needs a good home? At least you might not have to house train it...

Original poster

MrsPeeWee · 24/09/2013 13:25

Popius - With respect, of course I won't answer, those questions have no relevance to my OP, do they? Perhaps you're being nosey, aren't you? But to ease your suspicious, I can tell you that you're completely incorrect.

Just for the record, I've been using MN on and off for the past 3 years, I know exactly how AIBU posts work, however, if I am going to be given sarcastic replies, I also have the right to do the same!

OP posts:

Chippednailvarnish · 24/09/2013 13:26

So Popius was right then.

sparechange · 24/09/2013 13:27

OP, please don't comfort yourself with the fact she is back with 'the mommy cat'

Once kittens are weaned, the 'mommy cat' won't have anything to do with her, and might even be aggressive towards her.
So your stupidity naivety of getting a pet that you couldn't be arsed with wasn't suitable for your lifestyle has meant the kitten has gone from one stressful situation to another in a the space of a few weeks.

And I don't think you should hassle the breeder for a refund. They've done you a favour, which is now going to cost them money in food etc. Be thankful.

Lj8893 · 24/09/2013 13:29

Well then you should know you have no right to dictate who posts what on a thread. As long as its within talk guidelines, its free for all.
Nothing wrong with you posting sarcastic replys back of course, but you can't get funny when people stray from your OP/questions.

wonderingsoul · 24/09/2013 13:30

wow--

op ynbu, the seller even said shed be happy to refund, i would give it to tomorrow before you text/call her.

i also think your getting a hard tiome here thats not needed. what would you have prefered her to do... keep the cat and all of them be unhappy... sell the cat on to some one... or infact the best thing.. take her back to the seller who knows her.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 24/09/2013 13:31

I honestly have to laugh at the thought of taking back an animal, like it is a dress that doesn't fit and expecting a full refund.

OP to answer your question, IMVHO no. Do not text her your address or ask for a refund.

If you decide to take on a pet and then decide you don't actually like it, that's your fault for not having enough common sense to actually look into what being a cat owner entails.

Lj8893 · 24/09/2013 13:34

wonderingsoul it takes time for a kitten to settle in to a home, and alot of effort and patience on the owners part so that is what I would expect somebody in the ops position to do.

Or of course not get a kitten in the first place but what's done is done.

I think there's no harm in asking for the money back but she really shouldn't be surprised if she doesn't get it back and certainly shouldn't expect it back.

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