to send my address first?

[MrsPeeWee]

Long story short.
We bought a 10 week old kitten 2 weeks ago. We didn't feel she was settling in to our family so for that reason (and many others) we decided to take her back to the people we bought her from, just as they had told us too, because if she didn't settle, they'd prefer to take her back.

We took her back yesterday as well as all her food, scratch posts, etc. The lady didn't give us our money back for the kitten. She shouted over to DH as he was walking back to the car that she would pop me a message to get our address and details and post the money through my letterbox today. She hasn't messaged me at all.

AIBU to text her my address, so she knows I would like my money back?
AIBU to even expect her to give us our money back? I'm unsure on what is the right thing to do.

Thanks.

[MrsPeeWee]

Fresh - Stop assuming. You're completely incorrect.

The toddler was his his pushchair, and wasn't making a peep. He was ready to go home and kitty had been put in to the utility room for the whole visit and up until that moment. It was completely unprovoked.

I am sorry that you look at it this way, however, my family come before a kitten in this situation I am afraid.

You may think 9 days isn't enough, but I believe it was plenty enough, because I'd prefer she went back before she had become attatched to her new surroundings.

[FreshLeticia]

Incredible OP, that you think that a kitten will be settled in your home after just two weeks - or was it 9 days? It often takes much longer than that, esp with pedigrees.
The poor thing must have been very scared to swipe at a toddler, either that or small children had been tormenting it.
Cats are hard work and some pedigree breeds are very difficult. I do know as we have Burmese and have had many other breeds over the years.

BTW, any decent breeder will not let a kitten go until it is 13 weeks and fully housetrained and vaccinated.
You must have gone to one of those kitten farm places. Shame on you for that.

[kali110]

Yes i did read the whole thread op. i think the kitten should have been kept away from the little ones as it was going to be unerved by kids at that age. Think it would have been better to have read up before you got the cat so you knew few things to expect.
Think you are lucky to have got your money, if you do get it back at the end.

[MrsPeeWee]

Did you not read the rest of the thread Kali?

[kali110]

Dont think op was bu for taking the kitten instead of dumping the poor thing, back but am suprised she is getting the money back.
Also think that 9 days isnt really much of a time for it too settle in.

[Nyborg]

It's also worth noting that this story is the reason why some shelters won't rehome kittens to families with small children - a fact someone mentioned upthread in a disapproving way. The home is often too unpredictably noisy an environment for the kitten to settle and small children don't read a cat's behaviour well enough to avoid getting swiped etc. So the family are unhappy, the kitten bounces back to the shelter and eventually moves to a new home where it takes much longer to settle because of its previous bad experiences. Shelters are full to bursting - with one notable exception, my experience has been that they are generally very pragmatic and open-minded about finding adoptive homes.

[chillykitty]

That is aibu for you

[Morloth]

Breeder definitely a numpty giving a 'difficult' kitten to a new pet owner.

I repeat though all cats a difficult especially kittens who are very young.

[Refoca]

Refusing to answer questions and drip feeding is never a good strategy.

Made for much more entertaining reading though

[McNewPants2013]

In all fairness its the breeder's fault.

He/she Knew the kitten wasn't ready for homing and even told the OP if the kitten didn't settle to bring the kitten back. Which the op has done.

[IcedTeaOneSugar]

Refusing to answer questions and drip feeding is never a good strategy.

[MrsPeeWee]

Maybe Iced, but I didn't believe it had and relevance. I still don't.

The Q on my OP was pretty black and white. I didn't want to go in to details. I was hoping that'd be respected? Clearly I was wrong in thinking that on AIBU. I know for next time.

[IcedTeaOneSugar]

A bit more info up front would have helped.

[DropYourSword]

I don't think anyone thought you gave the cat back because you needed a refund because you were short of money!?

[MrsPeeWee]

I am sure a lot of you have misunderstood? I didn't give up kitty because I was short of money/skint and needed the money back. I also know exactly how much it costs to look after her, vet bills etc - However, I was just making it clear that we had spent a lot of money taking her on this month, (mainly because we was hit with another huge unexpected bill this month, which was a bit of a wake up call, but either way, plans were already in place to collect her this month) which is why I wasn't sure whether I'd be unreasonable or not to pop her my address since she had said she would refund us. We wasn't expecting it. We didn't take her back and think We'd better get a refund It wasn't an issue.

I don't think I am going to get any more from this thread. Situation is resolved. We've certainly learned our lesson.

Thank you all.

[Mojavewonderer]

I also blame the breeder for selling someone inexperienced a kitten who they already knew was 'difficult!' Obviously no one gave a crap about the animals welfare.
Op I hope you get your money back but perhaps don't rush out and buy another kitten.

[JerseySpud]

Write the money off. if you were that short you shouldn't have got the kitten in the first place.

[Mojavewonderer]

I think you are very unreasonable to expect to get the money the money back! It also sickens me that you blamed lack of funds for not being able to just cut your loses, if you are so skint then why the hell get a kitten in the first place! You do know to get a cat neutered or spayed can cost cost around £100 - £150! Not to mention the flea and worming treatment the cat will need every 4 weeks. I would have hoped you would get the cat vaccinated too which is another big cost. Vets fees are very expensive too especially if your too skint to get the cat insured!
I get so frustrated with things like this because if you had gone through a rescue centre and so did everyone else then there wouldn't be all these back street breeders up for making a quick buck! Grrrr!

[LessMissAbs]

If the breeder was that irresponsible, they wouldn't have taken the kitten back, refund or not refund.

After 9 days, kitty is back with her mommy cat - I can't quite see the trauma in that?

There is a lot of trauma involved in separating a very young animal from its mother and home environment, then moving it again after a short period. Kittens do tend to be difficult...especially around children.

Clearly none of this has sunk in. I am astonished you are getting your money back and I hope this doesn't encourage you to buy another pet. Maybe best to stick to non-live things for your purchases in future.

[picnicbasketcase]

Chalk it up to experience and don't beat yourself up about it. The kitten is safe and well and has found a new home, and you're getting the money back. Happy ending all round.

[MrsPeeWee]

I do apologise. I thought I'd have fire thrown at me for explaining why we ultimately decided to take her back. It appears I did anyway.

[DropYourSword]

Yep, poor kitty.

[chillykitty]

If she said that kitten was difficult i wouldnt hv taken it on
Glad u r getting a refund and kitty has a new home

[TallulahBetty]

OP if you'd just explained the problems sooner, people probably would have had more sympathy. Of course your DS and DN come first. FWIW you've done the right thing for your family and the kitten.

[DidoTheDodo]

Small children and new kittens rarely get on together. In my experience anyway.