to send my address first?

[MrsPeeWee]

Long story short.
We bought a 10 week old kitten 2 weeks ago. We didn't feel she was settling in to our family so for that reason (and many others) we decided to take her back to the people we bought her from, just as they had told us too, because if she didn't settle, they'd prefer to take her back.

We took her back yesterday as well as all her food, scratch posts, etc. The lady didn't give us our money back for the kitten. She shouted over to DH as he was walking back to the car that she would pop me a message to get our address and details and post the money through my letterbox today. She hasn't messaged me at all.

AIBU to text her my address, so she knows I would like my money back?
AIBU to even expect her to give us our money back? I'm unsure on what is the right thing to do.

Thanks.

[DidoTheDodo]

I'd still like to know what the kitten did that was so "difficult".
I'm genuinely finding it hard to imagine anything that comes into that CATegory. (See what I did there?)

But serious question. Why was your kitten difficult, OP?

[MrsPeeWee]

Sigh... Ooh boy, I can see that this thread is no longer going to provide any type of constructive advice, just criticism.

Thank you!

[DidoTheDodo]

But I would really like to know what makes a kitten difficult?

[DidoTheDodo]

PS Was it a tiger?

[Lj8893]

Ok, some constructive advice. Think much much more carefully about getting any kind of pet again.

[MrsPeeWee]

Lj - Noted, we will.

[sparechange]

Aw, the classic I'm-not-getting-everyone-agreeing-that-IANBU-so-I'll-storm-off-in-a-sulk move.
Smart.

[steeking]

Reading these posts with interest.
If this is a pedigree for which OP has potentially paid a lot of money, and the kitten went there to see how she settled in then, there should be some form of refund (payment for "goods and services" and all that consumer stuff).
As one breeder mentioned upthread, perhaps not a refund for the full amount, but minus the cost of finding another home. Potentially the breeder is making 2x the money from one kitten. There should have been a contract though so that everyone was clear about what would happen if things didn't work out.
People seem incredulous about "difficult kittens" but cats are really sensitive to their surroundings, and for some, a particular environment may be too stressful resulting in aggression, inappropriate urination and defaecation etc. Granted 10 days doesn't seem long to persevere and this kitten was still young, but perhaps OP felt she had to make a quick decision especially since this was a trial thing.
One other thought- pets are a luxury, so the finances should be in place to look after them correctly.

[livinginwonderland]

You'd get better advice if you actually explained what this kitten did that was so bad. All kittens are energetic when you first get them - they might not always pee and poop in the litter tray, they'll scratch everything even if you buy them scratching posts, they'll get into everything and chew everything. They're cats. What did this kitten do that was so bad compared to how kittens normally behave?

[steeking]

I think the moral of the story here is "do your homework first before getting any pet"

[AvonCallingBarksdale]

Blimey Surely the OP has entered into something without being fully aware of what it might entail, has seen the error of the situation and decided to swiftly rectify it? That's better than keeping the cat when everyone's unhappy, isn't it?
OP if the seller intimated that you'll get your money back, I'd just send a text along the lines of "Hope the cat is resettling, and we're sorry it didn't work out. Thought I'd make things a bit easier for you and send you my address as discussed. I can pick up the cheque if that's easier for you. .Many thanks, Pee Wee."

She can only say no, in which case you'll just have to chalk it up to experience. Can't see why you're getting a hard time here.

[SoldAtAuction]

I am much happier now, imagining a tiger kitten pouncing and working out sneak attacks! Perhaps it was stalking the OP around the house, practising a growly roar

[MummytoMog]

OP - yes, you should chase your money. As a rule, when kittens are returned to breeders (and a long time ago, I had it happen to me as a breeder) normally the breeder keeps a nominal sum - £50 is usual. The kitten I had returned was causing the owner's existing cat to become very distressed and agressive and after a week they decided that they couldn't keep her. She was later rehomed quite easily (and this was at nearly 16 weeks as she was GCCF registered and couldn't be rehomed until after her vaccinations were complete). It sounds like this breeder isn't terribly reputable if they sold a kitten at 8 weeks, but at any rate they should provide at least a partial refund.

We had a cat who eliminated inappropriately. NIGHTMARE. It only really resolved when we moved, and even now we still get the odd wee in horrible places. She peed in the sky box once and every time we turned it on the whole living room stank of cat piss.

[oscarwilde]

Text her your address along with an "I'm sorry things didn't work out with X kitten". If she offered a refund then provided the kitten hasn't been returned ill or with a missing limb then YANBU. If you don't have a written contract though, you might have to chalk it up to expensive experience.

People - it's a pet, not an adopted child. I accept that some people are very protective about their pets and animals generally but the OP doesn't seem to have behaved unreasonably. There are shelters all over the country with cats which have been abandoned as kittens and left to fend for themselves.

[MrsPeeWee]

There are few reasons for why she was difficult, and we made the mistake of thinking it would take no time at all to help her ease in to our home and shape her a little better and of course we was wrong and naive. We was warned by the breeder that she was much different to her kitty sisters and incredibly difficult. I can't be bothered to go in to 'how' on here. Finally, the straw that broke the camels back was her taking a huge swipe scratch at my 1 year old nephew, that requires a trip to A&E and DSIL now refusing to bring DN to our home again. I know it wasn't kittens fault, it is what kittens do and she was probably scared. (even though DN was no where near her, he was in his pushchair) This also frightened DS. I adored her, but DN coming to our home and DS not being frightened take top priority.

I feel guilty enough having to take her back, but I really didn't know what else to do, especially when DH was adement.

[AvonCallingBarksdale]

Don't feel guilty, OP, you've been responsible and returned her. She's a cat, not a child you've taken in.

[MrsPeeWee]

Sorry for any typos, I am using my phone and cleaning!

[TheBigJessie]

I have a friend who is a very experienced pet owner. Pretty competent in all things to do with children and pets, actually- used to be a special needs nanny.

Anyway, friend has some burmese/siamese cross cats (rescues from shelter) and says "never again".

Possible explanation for "difficult kitten"?

[GhoulWithADragonTattoo]

To be fair the breeder did mention a refund to your DH when the kitten was returned. I'd just text your address and ask her to bring your refund as soon as possible. Can't do any harm.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

You obviously did the right thing returning the kitten.

But I honestly don't think you should be chasing a refund when it was really your own fault. There was nothing wrong with the kitten. You just decided, for your own, obviously valid to your family, reasons. That's all.

That's why I don't think you should be chasing the breeder for money.

Some people are not suited to cats/dogs/whatever animal.
You know that now. So I personally would just leave it there and suck up the cost. because the kitten was not faulty you just do not want it

[BrianTheMole]

Well she said you could return the kitten if it didn't settle, which you did.
She said she would return your money, which she hasn't.

I would send her a reminder.

[chillykitty]

Lots of harsh comments to op
We are getting a kitten from cats protection in a week
She is 4 months
I realise she will need lots of attention and looking after
She is quite nervous kittens are a handful
I dont know the sitution regarding getting your money back if it was a trial then thats different
I would phone her

[steeking]

Ok- confession time here.
OP- we had a kitten just as you are describing. Got him from a local rescue centre at 12weeks- had been returned from his first home because of his "aggressive tendencies".
"What rubbish" I thought as this thing purred in my arms, but he was a very, very difficult cat- regularly attacked us unprovoked, his pupils would dilate and off he would go. To this day I think he was part feral. We reached a balance with him but it meant he only had access to the utility room through the cat flap, we just couldn't trust him in the rest of the house with anyone else around. A lot of human interaction seemed to aggravate him, and he was happier on his own. We had him for about 2 years and he gradually spent more time away than with us, and then one day he didn't come back.
We put posters up, contacted local radio station, contacted vets etc etc, but I suspect he became fully feral.

[chillykitty]

I bet you wish you hadnt started this thread

I appreciate that you have never had a pet we have an older cat and two guinea pigs

Kittens are hard work
I wouldnt personally go for a pedigree. We are getting a black and white kitten
9 days isnt long enough for a kitten to settle
They hv alot to adjust
When we get the kitten we realise that she has to be shut in a seperate room for a fews days etc

[FiveExclamations]

Steeking my MIL fosters feral kittens from Cats Protection and tries to hand tame them (she's pretty successful) but it doesn't always work, the center has some friendly farmers who take the ones who really don't like any form of indoor living and some live out their lives in a big enclosed area at the shelter.

We've had two "tamed" feral cats, one disappeared, the other is still with us and will rub herself round us but wont tolerate being picked up or even stroked.

Cats are complicated OP, I don't know much about the Pedigree scene but I'm a bit doubtful about this breeder, if I'd bred a difficult cat and someone inexperienced turned up I wouldn't let them have it.