To think people don't seem to recognise the difference between evening wear and wedding clothes any more ?

[BetsyBidwell]

(Disclaimer yes it doesn't matter compared to Syria , I do get out a lot, yes the bride and groom were lovely , etc etc)

Day wedding yesterday. Just too much tit. Too much bare top halves. Shiny cocktail dresses in a country church.

Just too much.

Umlauf - I am the same... Well 28 and struggled to get the balance right, I looked at Coast, French Connection and Ted Baker they all had nice stuff that wasn't too old or tarty!

What do we think about hats? Are they the done thing these days, I think only a few of the older ladies at my wedding wore one. It's a hotel wedding should I have a hat, fascinator or nothing?

At 27 too, I'd aim for something like this with cardi and heels, for a winter wedding.

Although I have to do a lot of trying on as that actually looks like it might be a tad short on me, depends on the model in it

I hate fascinators - much prefer a bit Joan Collins hat.

I like hats in general, but tend to try on 100s and end up with a fascinator, they just dont suit me :(

Massimo Dutti dress here. Understated but elegant.

I've been lucky in that the last lot of weddings I went to (just the way our family's ages are) I was just young enough to go as a 'guests' child' rather than a fully fledged guest. I was able to get away with a nice summer/winter dress and no hat, just my hair done nicely but usually loose. (I admit I was pushing it at the last one - I was twenty!).

But my friends are staring to get married now, so I'm going to have to go as a guest in my own right.

Hat hire is the way to go, I always hire rather than buy when I go to the races. You can get a ver posh hat that perfectly coordinates with your outfit (the shop should ask you to bring your outfit along with you when looking) and suits your face shape. I paid £45 to hire a mahoosive hat for Ascot this year, it would have cost me hundreds to buy.

At my cousins wedding a few years ago, half of the groom's friends turned up I'm jeans and Doc Martens

Thats good, sounds like I've done previous weddings alright then! The bolero is my faithful friend, I will graduate to jackets when I'm in my thirties I think, frock coats in my fifties.

DHs auntie turned up in a white PVC dress with white heels to a family wedding last year! wobbly tot,thighs the lot.

I wore an on the knee cream and green kimono dress and she told me I looked like "some sort of chink"

There has to be a website out there with outrageous guest clothing? I'm off for a google.

Tits not tot

Don't rule out a frock coat Umlauf. My friend asked me to go along with her, dress shopping for her mother because I'm the same height and colouring (and 40 years younger ). Her DM does have some mobility problems and finds it hard to use changing rooms but why she couldn't have tried them on at home, rather than using me as a body double I don't know...

Anyway, the point of that was I'm in my twenties and actually look pretty good in a matching dress and coat!

I got married on Friday.

One guest wore jeans and a tee, another a 50's inspired dress. Another lady wore a suit, with cans and a tee, and another wore a lurid yellow mini dress.

And you know what - i didn't actually care!!! They are my friends and they were there for me. They could have been nude - the fact that they were there was what mattered most.

YANBU. My cousins turned up to my grandma's funeral in black going-out-on-the-town outfits. How difficult is it to find a black dress suitable for daytime, or some black trousers and top?

more than once I saw skirts shorter than the control top part of the tights.

Beyond that's the style dress I want! I went in to DPs too and didn't see that

I saw one of those programmes the other week where two brides who don't know each other have to arrange a double wedding and have everything the same, so they have to compromise and one of them has to not have the dress they want etc.

I presume they deliberately pick polar opposites to make good TV. The one I saw had a slim bridezilla who was planning a choreographed first dance and who clearly adored herself, up against a no nonesense, short, un-thin, yorkshire lass.

Many rows later they had their wedding. The thin one got her way and they both wore "her" dress; a strapless creation with a massive skirt the no-nonesense bride had called a monstrosity.

Guess who looked best in it? Yep - the short little non-thin one
(Although it did start to slip a bit when she'd had a few.) The bride who had chosen the dress, and it was her dream dress yadda yadda was too thin to carry it off. She'd looked far better in the other one's chosen dress which was more modest and had sleeves, and by which she had been horrified.

I have spelled nonsense wrong twice!

What's the matter with me ???

I'm getting all paranoid now - will this be OK (with a long cardi over the top)?

Yes - that is perfect wedding wear IMO Oubliette

For anyone who is looking for an outfit for a wedding, try Phase 8. I've bought a few in there and they are great (imho ) and they have lots of shops in the outlet centres as well, so not too expensive. (I'm in my 40's btw)

Ok help me!

I have a wedding to go next summer. In the day. In August.

I am a size 22. I plan to diet but let's just go with size 22. Just in case. Big knockers.

What sort of stuff should I be looking at?

So what? I don't dress for other people; I dress for myself. And, yes, I'm generally considered well-dressed (or maybe just so scary that people feel the need to placate me with compliments ).

One of my co-workers considers cocktail dresses business smart. Guess what? Nobody cares as long as she does a good job - which she does.