To think I've already agreed to compromise so my mother should really stop pushing my buttons?

[PrincessTeacake]

My brother is getting married in two weeks, and in the run-up to the wedding my mother seems to be trying to make me 'normal' which I'm finding really insulting, degrading and pretty depressing.

First off, I decided to make a dress to wear to the wedding because A)I'm broke B) I'm a pretty good seamstress and C) my personal style is vintage-inspired and I'd have more control over the final look of the outfit. My mother was determined to stop me wearing this dress before I'd even started making it. She badgered me for weeks and when I finally got it finished, deemed it too attention grabbing. Same with the two dresses I had altered and was using as back-ups. All three dresses are, in my opinion, fairly classy and in no way gypsy-weddingy. I feel like it doesn't matter what the final product was like, she would have vetoed it anyway.

(the first one is basically a toned down version of this dress, in blue with straps: clothesonfilm.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/The-Great-Gatsby_Carey-Mulligan-dress-full-crop_Photograph-by-Hugh-Stewart-001-360x494.jpg)

I agreed not to wear it in the end because I knew she'd never leave me alone about it. But since I agreed, she's been making a lot of unnecessary jokes about my finished dress to her boyfriend, her sister and my future sister-in-law and I'm getting very annoyed. I wouldn't mind so much if the craftsmanship was off (and she would have been honest if it had been) but she admitted it was well-made.

We're going shopping tomorrow for a new frock and so far, the ones she wants me to get have been awful. Beige, cheap fabric, too short or too much cleavage and just plain tacky. I get the sinking feeling I'm going to end up in something I look awful in and don't feel comfortable in at all.

Also, there's an issue with the colour of my hair. I bleached it and dyed it pink earlier in the year to raise money for charity, since then it's washed out and looks a touch strawberry blonde. I agreed to not put any colour into it until just before the wedding so we could get it back to the original shade. She won't stop going on about how awful it looks to everyone, including the hairdresser as I was making the appointment.

I know it all sounds very petty but it ties in with a lot of dysfunction in our relationship over the years, and everyone tends to take her side because she's the matriarch. I've been seeing less and less of her lately thankfully and after the wedding I'm putting a lot more distance between us. I'm a happy, confident exuberant person most of the time but around her I regress back to an awkward unhappy teenager.

[littlewhitebag]

The dress you have made is beautiful. Don't be railroaded into wearing something which just isn't you. You will feel like crap all day if you do.

[CupOCoffee]

I think it looks great. The only thing i would say is that perhaps the bow makes it look slightly bridesmaidy. As long as you know the bridesmaids are not wearing blue then that'll be fine. Or put a more simple belt with it? Its lovely though and Im impressed you made it!

I thought it was going to have feathers?

Did your friend say why?

[20wkbaby]

She sounds like she is jealous of the attention you will be getting, and the only person ruining your brother's wedding will be the person making a big deal about what other guests are wearing.

Wear whichever dress you feel comfortable and in the meantime nod and smile and enjoy listening to your mum telling people she chose your outfit, and when you show up looking amazing and she gets positive comments on her taste she won't be able to say a word!

[MrsKoala]

What!? someone said that wasn't appropriate for a wedding? it is PERFECT guest attire, unless it's completely arseless and we just can't see the back, i'm baffled why anyone would say it wasn't.. And i am very anal about what i consider okay for wedding outfits too - It's not white (worst), black (second worst), luminous (3rd worst) or hideous (4th worst). It's gorgeous. I'm sad you wont be wearing it.

Why will your mum's bitching be your responsibility in any way? Even if you turned up in a wedding dress will full veil, the only person she could legitimately 'have a word with' is you. If she chooses to mither on to others about it then that is completely her choice. And if your DB then give you static about what your mum moans about, you should firmly push it back onto her.

Honestly, the dress is lovely and you should be very proud you are so talented that you could make it.