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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can't believe some people

32 replies

Insanityismymiddlename · 20/09/2013 14:35

Yesterday my DP and I ran out of petrol on a very busy main road 5 miles away from a petrol station (dial is apparently buggered).

It was raining and because of how narrow and busy the road was it wasn't safe to wait in the car incase a lorry clipped it as it wad just passed a bend in the road (had a couple of close calls with DP getting out of the car so my DP and I had to stand in the rain with my 2 week old DD whilst we waited for a friend to fetch some fuel to get us to the garage and not a single person stopped to offer assistance.

It was a busy road but there was a layby about 100yrds away so it wouldn't have endangered someone else if anyone was kind enough to at least offer.

AIBU to have lost hope in humanity? If I drove passed a young couple obviously broken down holding a very small baby I wouldn't just carry on.

Sorry for the rant I just can't believe some people and needed to get it off my chest.

OP posts:
Original poster
Insanityismymiddlename · 20/09/2013 14:38

Reminds me of the time my DP had DC2 in a pram when he tripped on a pot hole and the pram flipped over causing DC2 to smash into the pavement head first cutting his face and mouth open, DC2 was obviously distressed and loads of people just walked past not a single one offering to help get the pram up or checking to see if needed medical assistance.

I really live in a shitty area.

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 20/09/2013 14:38

I expect most people would probably assume you had AA cover or similar and as there were two of you presume it not too much of a problem.

whois · 20/09/2013 14:41

Why would I stop? I would assume you were stood there safely waiting for AA.

It's not even like you were on your own or injured or anything. Get over yourself!

Shenanagins · 20/09/2013 14:41

Sadly there have been scammers using this trick to steal the car off those who stop to help.

Original poster
Insanityismymiddlename · 20/09/2013 14:47

Whois proves exactly my point Hmm

OP posts:
bigbluebus · 20/09/2013 14:51

I'm afraid that I automatically assume that everyone has a mobile phone these days and that help is on its way. Especially if they are standing by the car, as they would be walking to get help or trying to flag someone down if they didn't have a phone.

In the circumstances you describe, it sounds as though people coming around a bend would be concentrating on avoiding your car and certainly wouldn't have time to notice there was a baby, as presumably you had her snuggled under your coat rather than out in the rain.

I would never have passed by without helping in the 2nd incident that you describe though.

I'm sorry you had a lousy day - not everyone is uncaring, but I can understand how it must have seemed to you at the time.

ohmymimi · 20/09/2013 14:51

Nothing surprises me any more. I jumped off the back of a bus (nothing heroic - slow-moving Routemaster double-decker, open back lower deck) when I saw a woman collapse on the pavement and asked a passerby to alert ambulance station 100 yds away (on same side of road), while I stayed with woman. His response was "Can't, I'll be late for work".

OneStepCloser · 20/09/2013 14:51

I wouldn't stop for a car as I would presume you had it sorted and the aa/rac make you a priority when you have a baby. Also if it was a busy road, possibly difficult for others to stop and help?

However, I really think most people would stop with the pram incident, I'm sorry and shocked that no one offered help you both then, it sounds awful.

IneedAsockamnesty · 20/09/2013 14:53

Could he have not just pushed it into the layby rather than keep the baby in the rain?

MrsBungle · 20/09/2013 14:54

If I saw 3 of you waiting by the side of the road - I'd assume you were waiting for someone and so wouldn't see the need to stop.

I'd have definitely stopped had I seen your dh and the pram incident. How awful.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 20/09/2013 14:57

YANBU! We once broke down on a busy residential road and at least three people came from nearby houses to offer lifts, drinks and phones....they saw the baby carrier you see. It's the least people should do!

Lj8893 · 20/09/2013 14:59

Tbh I would probably only stop if it was a woman on her own, just to make sure she had help on the way.

I have broken down many a time (I'm cursed with cars!!) and have never expected anyone to stop for me. There are too many scams around now that it isn't worth the risk for other people.

I've always had aa cover and a mobile. When people have stopped for me it has never been someone on thier own, but always a couple of group. Far too risky for a solo person to stop for anyone I think.

BrokenSunglasses · 20/09/2013 14:59

YABU.

You were fine, what could anyone have done anyway?

Tbh if I drove past and saw two people standing there with a broken down car, I'd assume they were ok because there's no real reason that they wouldn't be.

WeAreEternal · 20/09/2013 15:01

If I saw a family waiting on the side of the road by their car I would assume they were waiting for assistance, (the AA/a friend).

I would only stop if someone was walking away from the abandoned car, I'd assume they had no assistance and needed some.

Original poster
Insanityismymiddlename · 20/09/2013 15:02

I guess IABU probably still hormonal.
Had no coats or anything as it was nice when we left home so had to stand in the rain with DD who had nothing other then a thin blanket over her.

DP couldn't push the car alone and even if I left DD in the car I couldn't help push as 2 weeks postnatal.

OP posts:
captainmummy · 20/09/2013 15:02

I jumped out of the car when I passed a BWM facing my side ofthe road, in the ditch. I was petrified of what i might see but i opened the door (car on it;s side, so not easy) and thankfully it was empty. I assume the driver had got out and walked to the nearby houses.

Some of us have hearts. Smile

livinginwonderland · 20/09/2013 15:02

I wouldn't stop for a broken down car. Pretty much everyone has a mobille phone these days and I would assume you were waiting for help from the AA or something.

I would help if I saw the second scenario, though.

BillStickersIsInnocent · 20/09/2013 15:05

I would stop to ask if you needed help.

LazyMonkeyButler · 20/09/2013 15:07

I would stop for a lone parent & baby but not for a couple, I don't think.

As others have said, I would expect that one of you has a mobile phone & that you are waiting for Green Flag or a friend to turn up.

It also sounds as though it would have been a dodgy place for a passer by to park up.

I have broken down many a few times over the years, with various of the DC with me. I'm not sure I'd actually welcome a stranger's help TBH, unless I was in an awful situation (injured, DC injured etc.) and actually really needed it. An independent sort, me Grin.

I am sorry you had a shitty day though.

Thumbwitch · 20/09/2013 15:07

YABU about the car situation but YAsoNBU about the pram situation!

As others have said, with the car, there were 2 of you and the baby so no, I wouldn't have stopped, I would have assumed that you were able to call for help and were just waiting for it. Also the scammers thing would be on my mind, especially as I'm usually a lone woman driving, so would be in more danger than you.

Re the pushchair though, that's dreadful :(
I saw a bloke pushing his DD in a lightweight umbrellafold pushchair with shopping bags hanging on the handles, they were obviously too heavy and as he went over a bump in the pavement, the weight change was too much and the whole thing toppled over backwards, frightening the DD of course. I called out to ask if he needed any help but he was adamant they were both fine, so I left it; I would definitely have asked your DH if there was anything I could do to help.

CoffeeTea103 · 20/09/2013 15:09

Yabu, I know of someone who was scammed in this way and i wouldn't stop. There were two of you. Get over yourself.

MadeOfStarDust · 20/09/2013 15:10

I saw our postie sat on the ground today and went over to see if he was ok...

apparently I was the 9th person to go and ask - he was getting a stone out of his shoe and had got his laces knotted too tight to undo....

we are not all to be tarred with the same brush.....

LazyMonkeyButler · 20/09/2013 15:11

And yes, the injured DC & the pram scenario I would have definitely stopped for.

I would judge the two things totally differently, rightly or wrongly.

Lottapianos · 20/09/2013 15:11

Get over yourself - always such helpful advice, no matter what the situation Hmm

Hope you're all ok OP. I don't drive so haven't been in your situation but when I feel down in the street a couple of years ago, no bugger stopped to help, they all just stepped over me. There are some kind souls around but they feel few and far between sometimes

Sirzy · 20/09/2013 15:15

If the car was stopped in a dangerous place then most people were probably more concerned with safely getting passed than anything else.

I have stopped in the passed when I have seen an RTC on the motorway (the only person who did stop) but if there was nobody obviously injured/no crash taken place then I wouldn't stop, and certainly not on a dangerous stretch of road.