To be a bit hmm about a person who said she couldn't get on with women?

[TheRunawayTrain]

Apparently female friendships are bitchy (implied/said but not in those words) and so on

I thought we were making friends too. Then I mention I'm friends with this woman who does x (she was talking about that subject so was relevant) and she starts.

AIBU? I asked her why she was writing off half the population (in politer ways) and the conversation carried on awkwardly as we both disagreed, but didn't get heated much. I can remember one woman at university saying something similar. I think dismissing being friends with people for their gender is especially as she's a woman herself!

ooh. So if a poster says something, it is not true unless they can prove it? That sounds dubious to me.

Thanks for the film bit. I will have a read. If you have a handy link sometime, I would be grateful.

wouldnt it work the other way round too. If someone says something is not, they have to prove it too?

laurie No, I didn't say anything that you suggest.

I can be friends with women, but after years in male-dominated occupations I don't know that many.

I am wary of new female acquaintances because the people who I have trusted and been hurt by have, coincidentally, all been women. It takes me a while to work out if this is someone I feel I can trust.
I have never been hurt or had my trust betrayed by a man, but then again nor have men become as close to me as the closest of my female friends.

Having mainly worked in male dominated environments I have naturally found friendships developing with men rather than women. My interests have tended to be more masculine than feminine too, so my spare time was spent in male dominated environments as well. I'm not really a girly-girl so can't relate to fashion/fake tan/fake nails/children discussions which doesn't help; I generally find I have more in common with men than women. But there is one activity I do which means I socialise with both sexes and I enjoy the company of both, although probably because these women aren't girly-girls.

Regarding bitchiness, I've only had that from women. When men have let themselves down it's been sexually inappropriate behaviour (from them) rather than bitchiness. The only times I've been bullied have been by females, but I don't assume all female co-workers (especially managers) are cow-bags because of it. However, I do find I'm naturally a bit less confident with women, as though I expect to be stabbed in the back, yet I never feel that way with men.

I work with all women and we dont talk about fake nails, fake tan etc. Have half the people on this thread ever even had close women friends?

Yes because all women talk about is fake tan and nails. Yep, that's the sum total of their subjects of conversation.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I relate to men more in RL - but generally that's down to a lack of things in common.

I do get on okay with women in real life sometimes but every female boss I have ever worked for has been terrible - if that makes me sexist, then it does.

I think girls & women who are on the autistic spectrum find friendships with men easier. Less complicated. Fewer unwritten rules. Less emotional context within the friendship.

Most of my friends currently are men, it's just through sheer coincidence. A few years ago most of my friends were women, again through coincidence. Maybe in a few more years it'll be more balanced, or it'll go one way or the other again. Who knows.

Well yes servalan it does make you sexist . All my worst bosses have been male, doesn't mean male managers are shit because they're male. It means I was unfortunate enough to work with a bunch of knobheads

I find close women friends completely open and excellent but I find a lot of female acquaintances have a kind of unpredictability like you don't know quite why they have said what they have or it is inconsistent with what they said before. There's a lack of integrity that I don't find so much with men. Men are just more straightforward.

For example I went out the other night, met lots of new people. The ones I talked to initially were men, they were easy to talk to, had something to say themselves and it was easy and amicable. It wasn't until after talking to them that the women seemed to open up to me and talk. If the men weren't there I'm fairly certain the women wouldn't have talked to me and I would have found it very hard to talk to them. By the end of the evening the men had drifted off and the women all talked together (including me), not about hair and make-up either. It was interesting.

So yes, initially men are easier to talk to socially and women are find as long as there is absolute trust and understanding. When insecurity and paranoia rears its ugly head I leave hastily, it creeps up on women astoundingly fast and I just don't get it. But in general, only women will give you a true long term friendship.

Its easy to talk to new men and women ime. I think you are either the personality that makes friends easily or your not. Its nothing to do with gender.

I have been bullied by various girls/women in my life but very rarely by men. I find myself feeling wary of meeting new women more than men, but do try to hard to overcome this. I wish it wasn't the case, as I'd love to feel comfortable meeting all new people.

Lots of sweeping statements flying around this thread! We all know different people and that will affect how we see others, it's just the generalisations that are disturbing - people saying I know 10 men and because they're all emotionally detached that means ALL men are - it's just your own small skive of life, not the ultimate truth!

And proof of ridiculousness is usually required - if I said something silly like most men are made of flour or most women like to sleep on their pianos I'd kind of expect people to ask for a small shred of evidence!

Links for you:

[http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/]

[http://womenintvfilm.sdsu.edu/research.html]

Hope that turns out ok, never put a link in before...

Try again:

womenintvfilm.sdsu.edu/research.html

thesocietypages.org/socimages/

Yay!!! It worked!!!

what are the 'interests' that are more male than female? none of my female friends spend their time talking about fake tan, false nails and handbags. we can talk about getting a bargain when buying bags/shoes whatever, but careers, politics, economics ,travel, drinking, computers/IT, films bit of sport etc are discussed as well

Men can certainly be brutal to each other but that tends to be episodic, to flare, peak and die, sometimes even to be resolved with the proverbial handshake. Most blokes simply cant be arsed to prolong a confrontation for any length of time, its too much hard work, there are more important things in life to be getting on with, most just let it go or agree to disagree or just avoid that persons company.

In my experience, organised campaigns of cliquey bitchiness and underhand conspiracies to undermine someone, are very female. One only has to experience working in a majority female office to see quite how calculating, two faced, bullying and insidiously nasty some women can be to each other.

And one thing I've noticed in my life, but I can't speak for anyone else, is that whilst there is of course bullying of boys by other boys at a younger age, when men grow up they tend to be less self-concious socially and bullying seems to decrease. Strangely the biggest male bullies I have met since getting older have actually been the most effeminate 'campy' men with almost exclusively female friends who can be incredibly bitchy. BUllying amongst girls, on the other hand, does not seem to really decrease when they get older.

I have only ever worked in predominantly female trades and cant say its anything like you describe cuchillian

I also work in a mainly female environment, the majority of the women are great. But there are two colleagues (lets call them A and B), who are a truly toxic pair. Their activities include manipulation, game-playing, back-stabbing, ignoring, excluding, be-littling ...... the usual stuff. Strangely, colleague A is fine on her own, but when she's with colleague B, she stoops to her level. Colleague B is an evil piece of work. What a relief that women like this seem to be in the minority. But they really skew the dynamics of the office.

I have never worked with or for a man who has stabbed me in the back. Most of the women I know are game-players and far too emotionally complicated. Not to say all women but I can only speak from experience. My life has been made hell by various women friends, colleagues and bosses throughout the years.

Ironic that all these nameless backstabbing women keep popping up on the same day Damian McBride has released his book about the (mostly male) backstabbing civil servants and MPs - remind me again how this is a female trait...?

Now lets see can we break down negative traits by any other arbitrary marker.

People with long ring fingers are more greedy.
i worked with some greedy sods in my time and -get this - quite a few of them had long ring fingers! Sorry if you think I'm a bigot

Wow, it's as though some people have spent their lives living in Falcon Crest or Dynasty. All these Alexis Carrington type bitches seem to have passed me by.

I've met utter tossers in my life, wouldn't have a clue as to what the male/female breakdown would be.