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AIBU?

To be a bit hmm about a person who said she couldn't get on with women?

181 replies

TheRunawayTrain · 19/09/2013 20:46

Apparently female friendships are bitchy (implied/said but not in those words) and so on

I thought we were making friends too. Then I mention I'm friends with this woman who does x (she was talking about that subject so was relevant) and she starts.

AIBU? I asked her why she was writing off half the population (in politer ways) and the conversation carried on awkwardly as we both disagreed, but didn't get heated much. I can remember one woman at university saying something similar. I think dismissing being friends with people for their gender is especially as she's a woman herself!

OP posts:

Report

samandi · 20/09/2013 19:53

No doubt the poster quoted above lacks the emotional intelligence to deal with sarcasm and will take my post to be a typical bitchy female comment ... and so the self-perpetuating cycle will continue

TheRunawayTrain · 20/09/2013 20:03

I know people with most or all male friens because life happens to mean that people who they relate to best happen to be male (not because of the gender), often because of the sector they work in, for example. And the same for women with women. And men with men. I can't care less who anyone is friends with, but I think writing off an entire gender for stereotypical reasons is a bit off. However, there are other circumstances which could be reasons (past history), but I mean labelling an entire gender bitchy or whatever.

OP posts:

geekgal · 20/09/2013 20:08

Saffyz - your statement is fair enough then, as you have those formative experiences. I think the OP is more talking about women who will just come out with a random generalisation " all women are x,y,z " when x,y,z are either spurious or false or come from lack of experience. I wouldn't say it would make me dislike a woman who says that, you can never know their life stories, but it would make me wary based on my own past experiences of women who aren't friendly with other women. So in the end it's pretty similar to you, just different conclusions!

PresidentServalan · 20/09/2013 21:37

Tbf I wouldn't write off half of the population by saying that all women behave in a certain way but I am more wary of women when I meet them. I can't help feeling that way. Fortunately I don't have friends in RL anyway, so it's less of an issue.

TheRunawayTrain · 20/09/2013 21:43

No one can change how they feel instinctively. Nor should they have to.

OP posts:

squoosh · 20/09/2013 21:50

But sometimes people's instincts are based on misinformation.

PresidentServalan · 20/09/2013 22:13

But a lifetime of experience of something is hardly 'misinformation'! Everyone's experience colours the way they view the world.

squoosh · 20/09/2013 22:16

Yes people's experiences colour the way they view the world but it's unlikely that every man or every woman that someone meets has been so awful as to turn a person off that gender completely.

More likely is that someone has some very bad experiences and those memories overshadow all the people that are nice/fine/ok.

FavoriteThings · 20/09/2013 22:24

But some people think that they have met 65% have not been good experiences.

Are you saying that your experiences are valid and someelse's isnt??

squoosh · 20/09/2013 22:39

Did I say that? No, I just made a suggestion as to why some people are able to write off an entire sex.

Do get back to me if you need further clarification.

utreas · 20/09/2013 22:40

YANBU Anyone who claims they cannot get on with all women (or men) is socially dysfunctional is someway.

PresidentServalan · 20/09/2013 22:49

Everyone's experience is valid - if you have been shit on by, eg, 10 women and 0 men, you are surely going to trust men more. I don't get close to anyone now so it's less complicated now. I get on with work colleagues because its on a casual basis and there's a lot of banter.

PresidentServalan · 20/09/2013 22:52

utreas Actually I get on with some women but prefer men but yes, I AM socially dysfunctional - doesn't make my opinion less valid though - I'm still entitled to it!

KaseyM · 21/09/2013 09:25

YANBU OP. It smacks of someone pulling up the ladder after themselves.

And shows a total lack of awareness of how society works.

PresidentServalan · 21/09/2013 13:55

Yes because people with a different opinion are obviously a bit stupid....

Still, this thread shows that anyone who thinks that women are generally bitchy must be wrong

squoosh · 21/09/2013 13:57

President saying that women are generally bitchy just makes you sound like a bitchy woman.

Maybe you should ponder that a while.

SeaSickSal · 21/09/2013 22:44

Incidentally, to all the people claiming that women are lovely snuggly balls of wonderfulness and not at all bitchy.

I've just noticed the gluezilla tread has been resurrected again.

Okay the woman was rude but that thread was a gleeful crucifixion and pulling apart of her that way outdid what she deserved for being rude.

That thread illustrated exactly what I mean, a large rump of women who actively enjoy pulling another person to pieces and being bitches. It's like the women knitting at the guillotine.

SinisterSal · 21/09/2013 22:50

who says that women are lovely snuggly bunnies or whatever snide little phrase you used?

Just that, women are ordinary people, like men! gasp - some are bitchy, some are funny, some are cowards, some have bad days. it's not about your knickers

seriously it's not hard to grasp.

yes, this is me being abrupt, because I'm annoyed, as people can be, not because my ovaries got loose

passedgo · 21/09/2013 23:06

A few others on this thread have admitted to their inability to get on with 'fellow' women. I think it shows strength to admit that. I seem to be one of those people that just pisses other women off. I have some really good close female friends, but in a group of acquaintances I seem to just annoy them. In small groups it's better, but where there is any kind of jostling for position I end up at the bottom of the heap. I just dust myself off and find a man to talk to.

passedgo · 21/09/2013 23:19

Actually over the years I have worked out that there are quite a few people like me and I am learning to focus on socialising with them and leave the pushy ones out. Only yesterday evening I was talking to someone, someone came and butted in, the woman I was talking to then dropped our conversation for the butter -inner's. I just turned and walked, had a very interesting chat with a woman standing alone nearby. Not long ago I would have stood by and smiled politely.

FavoriteThings · 21/09/2013 23:20

There seem to be a fair number of annoyed women on this thread. Funny.

SinisterSal · 21/09/2013 23:23

Why is it funny Favourite Things? just..as you'd expect really

Are you trying to make some sort of point or something?

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passedgo · 21/09/2013 23:23

I must say this is a weird thread, a bit like a vegetarian's conference about the correct way to fry a steak. Or something.

FavoriteThings · 21/09/2013 23:26

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 21/09/2013 23:34

I am very wary of women who do not have long- standing women friends.
I don't understand how that happens.
All my best friends are deeply, bitchy, atrocious cunts.
We would and have swum oceans for each other.
Some of them are men, but most are women.

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