Am I being unreasonable to confront this woman?

[justanuthermanicmumsday]

for those of you who don't know I wear a face veil usually a patterned scarf to avoid sticking out so much lol. point is I expect the odd comments maybe groans as I work past in my honour of course.

But two times now this senior lady I'd say in her 60s or more unprovoked loudly made comments at me. The first time she said" why are you wearing that" I was walking past with my twin buggy to supermarket, I thght she was incredibly rude. Had she said excuse me and proceeded to ask me a question in a normal tone I wouldn't have been miffed. Still I kept my cool said religious reasons as I walked away. I didn't want a conversation I don't see why I should explain when she was so rude.

yet today I see her again shouting across the road at me this time." No need to wear that take it off". Today I would say she looked aggressive or perhaps it was my eyes deceiving me. My toddler was with me she looked distressed said" mummy whys that lady shouting". I said "she's prob ill like your gran never mind her."

Should I confront her if this happens again? I'm not an aggressive person quite a walkover and not much confidence but I think it can't be ignored its like harassment.

I dread to think ill pass her again if I pop out she's always on the same route as me, yet why should I dread her.

Granted she doesn't like my dress neither does my brother, I'm not harming her in anyway. one sibling said I shouldn't confront her in case she goes to the police. But that's insane what reason would she have to go to the police i would simply tell her to get off my case. How would she like it if I told her to change her dress for something more acceptable to me. She's not the fashion police or the law.

Please remember this is not a conversation on whether you approve of my dress rather this woman's behaviour

Goths who listen to sisters of mercy and wear black are not protected any more than skinheads are.

What utter nonsense!

So is that the option these women have? Go out covered up or don't go out at all?

Peppi, you speak a lot of sense.

No YouTheCat that was sort of what I was getting at. I know the plural of anecdote etc etc, and maybe it's a self selecting group but I've just not met anyone who had been forced into wearing anything either.

Goths are protected against hate crimes, but I don't think being humour is a hate crime?

Everyone is protected against hate crimes.

I always assumed MurderofGoths name meant a gathering of Goths, like a murder crows (or is it rooks) or a parliament of owls.

YoutheCat - check your facts before flaming me.

Dropyoursword - that is what it does mean.

I do apologise.

But you still have the wrong end of the stick if you think Murder's name is a hate crime against goths.

Peppi most people I know who disagree with the veil on anti-feminist grounds are not not campaigning for veils to be banned precisely because of what you are saying, there are other ways to try and promote equality and choice.

And I still think it's nonsense to have any such law. People don't choose to be disabled, or not white or gay but they can choose to be a goth.

And I say that as someone who still listens to her old sisters, mission and cult cds.

Youthecat - I don't think it's a hate crime! I was just making the point that people feel they can be more humorous about goths than they can be about burkha wearers!

It's not that humorous.

Murder= group

Youthecat - I do think goths should be protected. Sophie Lancaster was murdered simply because she was dressed as one.

Am I being a tit, I thought the humour was the whole crows/goths thing, not the suggestion of murder meaning more than just a group? A murder of Burkhas wouldn't be humourous because it wouldn't make any sense?

Dressing as a goth is a choice, unlike being disable, gay, straight etc. It is a choice to join a particular (gothic) subculture.

HopaLongOn - a group of people all wearing black. That is all I meant.

peppi actually I doubt that. I don't see those men agreeing to do the school run, get the shopping, do all the other stuff that the women currently have to do veiled. It's a small point but at the moment it's cost-free for men to insist on the veil.

Also no doubt some women are forced to wear it which is terrible but many are making that choice for themselves and if they want to make that choice then they must stand by causing offence to people. I think that is why the OP's thread went this way. She wanted to block discussion of why this woman is offended or why some people in general are offended (including me). She simply asked whether to "confront" her. It didn't sound as though the OP had been forced to wear the veil but that she chose to - and wanted to close her ears to anyone saying they didn't like it. Of course she shouldn't be shouted at in the street - but if you choose to do something that is out of keeping with the culture of the society you live in, and in the opinion of many of us a central and vital part of our culture, you will attract attention that you may not like.

My suggestion was not to confront but to go up to the lady, remove veil, smile, show good will and explain the reasons for the veil, then shake hands and put the veil back on. Making face to face contact with people is a good way to dilute feelings of aggression (that's why so many internet threads go nasty - we can't see each other so behave in ways that we wouldn't face to face).

I think everyone should be protected from the kind of scum that would do that.

Edit; not that I'm saying she should have stopped dressing the way she did because some dickheads used it as an excuse to be awful human beings.

Let's just stop fucking telling women what to wear shall we? Simples.

Agreed, Hopalongon.

Are anyone else's counters completely out on this thread?

It's telling me 249 posts but has just started a new page.

To the OP - you know nothing about the woman who shouted to you. She is a stranger. Be wary and trust your instincts. Could you walk with a friend for a couple of days to show her you have support?