DS made fun of at school for having Aldi packed lunch!

[bimbabirba]

More of a WYBU.
DS started at a private school last week. He's in YR 6. Everything was going well until we decided to switch to packed lunches because he hated the hot lunches the school provides for £3.50 a meal. Some kids have been noticing that the drinks and snacks in his lunch box are Aldi's and have been saying things like "Ewww... Aldi, that place is horrid! How gross!".
DS is so embarrassed that every morning he tippexes the Aldi brand or he goes over it with a marker pen but they recognise the packaging and still make fun of him!
I can't believe I have to deal with this! WYBU to mention it to his teacher? He's new and I don't want to make it worse by making him unpopular.

To be fair the kids at state school in a very deprived area where I used to work were just as bad. And that included Lidl (?) and Neeto too. It was all very 'Eeee, your mam shops at Neetos', 'Your dad's a bin man', 'Your mam's a skivvy', etc. Everyone needs someone to look down on apparently!

you are right Aquilla kids are mean regardless of the school or area thet are in, they always find something,

We are on an economy-drive at home. My kids are taking home baked bread rolls, muffins, flapjack etc plus fruit or decanted yoghurt in screw top pot. Drink is also in reusable bottle.
No packaging involved.
Would home making everything for lunch help financially as well as remove your child's embarrassment of packaging branding?

Poor ds. I would speak to the school and give them a chance to sort this out. And talk to ds about how bullies are insecure and how loads of people with all kinds of incomes shop at Aldi etc. etc. etc.

in Europe Aldi is like Marks and Sparks

Your SIL is having you on! Aldi is as cheap and cheerful here as it is in the UK.

I love Aldi stuff. I don't get the opportunity to shop there very often because we don't yet have a convenient local one and they don't do home delivery. One is being built nearby, to open in the next couple of years. I can't wait, and will almost certainly then largely desert Tesco (which has a near monopoly around here).

I would not change the way I shopped just to pander to these halfwit bullies. As others have said, they only recognise the Aldi goods because they have them at home, and it may help your son to be told this.

Currently, I nearly always buy Tesco home brands, value brands or some of their other recently added discount brands for packet lunches, though I do check out what deals and promotions are going on at the time, in case they are beneficial. I totally refuse to pay several times more for different coloured packaging.

The only one of my three daughters (who all went to state schools) who ever got this mentioned in school was the middle one. She is the least confident of the three and always the one who gets into situations because of that. The other two have just always seemed better equipped to shrug things off and bat away trouble, not outwardly appearing to care quite so much.

Does your son lack a bit of confidence when out of the house? That gives off an air of vulnerability, which bullies such as these soon latch onto. So, maybe they are just looking for a target, and the fact that it is a lunchbox is incidental.

Report them. It is not acceptable behaviour, and as you are presumably paying a substantial sum for your son's education you have a right to expect the school to help out here, and provide an environment where he can feel safe and secure.

I do hope you find a solution which makes him feel better. Whatever it is though, do not give in to them. You are right, and the bullies are wrong.

Would home making everything for lunch help financially as well as remove your child's embarrassment of packaging branding

I doubt it - I do all that & more for DD as she has intolerances & they picked on her for that to - this was lead the kid who had the same very basic sandwich everyday & a packet of crisps - it became very obvious after a while that she was jealous if the effort put in, especially as DD would bake her own stuff too[rollseyes]

DD also had the mickey taken for cherry tomatoes MrsJay - and sliced pepper - carrot - cucumber etc etc - I've stopped being surprised by any if it any more

Aldi/Lidl = quality and value for money. Why would you change a sensible practise,or have to resort to subterfuge, due to the small-minded and spiteful actions of a small group of children. I do remember how difficult it was to assimilate into a new school, by the way, but I do believe that children have to learn to cope with these situations. If it did escalate to something nastier of course the school should be involved, but I suspect your son will develop friendships and this silly sniping will fall away.

DD also had the mickey taken for cherry tomatoes MrsJay - and sliced pepper - carrot - cucumber etc etc - I've stopped being surprised by any if it any more

Its bonkers eh, dd is 15 though she just laughs at them and eats her lunch I guess they think she should be eating chips or something dont get me wrong she has crisps and a bisucuit too tomatoes and fruit are my attempt at getting some vitamins in her

I would change what goes into his packed lunch myself. It's all very well saying "why should you and tell him to stand up for himself" but I WAS that child with market clothes and school stuff and my life was intolerable. I believe that I mistrust people and find it very difficult to maintain friendships now because I had such a hellish time at school. Kids can be arses, fact and if that can be prevented by spending a couple quid more a week on packed lunch then so be it.

but where does it stop sparkly when do you stop getting things so your child fits in I know you had a rubbish time at school I had a rubbish time at school I was the posh kid who wore my blazer every day and didn't say Aye or naw (im scottish) we all want our children to get through school unscathed and we want to help them but one day it is the lunch the next day it the hair style or the school bag

( i mean the general you not You sparkly)

Sod the food. Focus on his self-esteem. Google online for resources to help build it. If he has high self-esteem, he'll be able to shake those kinds of comments off without even thinking about it, and the kids will notice that and stop trying to bother him. At this early stage it's quite possible that several of them who teased him before will later turn round and be friends with him because they see that strength, but he's got to have it first.

Teaching him to give in to bullies and change himself to make them quieter is a rubbish life lesson. It makes life miserable as an adult and doesn't do any better for a child.

And I would also mention this to the teacher so that they can do some general in-class work about, well, not being a nob to others.

I think you have to be realistic and change the things you can to smooth their path. Obviously there's going to be limits on that but just do what you can. My parents could have made life easier for me they weren't short of money but just chose not to and at such an important and formative time I think you should pick your battles and change the things you can.

But it is just lunch it is an Aldi cereal bar or whatever

Yes but it obviously matters. I don't begin to understand why but it does so I would change it. He will remember that his parents would do things like that because they felt what he was going through was important no matter how insignificant it seems. I think that would contribute far more to building self esteem.

When this happens to dd who is only 7 yet it's already happening, I laugh and say how ridiculous! I makeup silly names for the kids that are doing it to her, I smile nicely at those children in the playground and chat to their Mums so that they can see that I have access to them should they choose to continue to be nasty, then I try to change whatever it is she's being teased about. So far it's works, in that she is laughing about bullying and telling me what those kids have said and done today, using the silly names we give them, rather than being stressed out and upset and she's actually now made good friends with one who was being mean (taking packed lunch off her and telling dd that her brother with ASD should be at school - he is home educated)

As long as its working that's what I will do and when it comes to the big stuff that I can't change I think she will realise that and just get on with it because I took away the small little constant jabs whenever I could.

This is tricky, as obviously smoothing the path for a child is what we all want as parents. However, if there is any room for, as glitterandglue says, building self-esteem and assertiveness, it should be exploited. But I can also see what sparkly says - I guess you have to tailor the approach to your child.

I guess DS will be picking up on how you react to the teasing, OP. If someone can get across to his delightful classmates that it takes more sense to not be blinded by advertising and be like a silly sheep, it might make them think. Perhaps the teachers have a role to step in and teach a valuable lesson here about cost not equalling value.

Sod the food. Focus on his self-esteem

In a nutshell ^^THIS^^^^ is THE most important thing

if he is secure enough in his own mind, he wont give a flying one about what these bullies think

& Sparkly I can see you've ben affected badly by your own experiences - my DB was badly bullied in school - he was my DMs blue eyed boy, so where as she let my DGM take the lead with how I dealt with bullies, she wouldn't with him & cow tailed to the bullies taunts just as you advise by changing to fit in -

my DB is now a nervous wreck with a drug habit & has ben a victim all his life - I on the other hand learnt early not to take any notice & stand up for myself instead - I know which lesson I would rather of had

mrsJay - its crazy, but kids being kids I suppose & flexing their bitchy claws starts early - thankfully DD though much younger than yours was strong enough not to take any notice - though I sometimes think I might have created a monster as she would rather have the whole class against her than go against her own personal belief system - its caused her no end of trouble with bullies at times (one girl had it in for her for years, but DD wouldn't follow her lead & pick on others) , but she's always won through in the end & I don't doubt it will stand her in good stead in life - as lets face it, bulling does not stop in school

You've convinced me it's wiser to shut up about it and look fid another solution!

I hate this...no offence op, I do know you have to do what is right for your ds, but I hate this attitude that we have to bow to & give in to the bullies. They are the ones in the wrong, not you, your son or anyone else.

It is because parents sit back & find other alternatives that the bullies carry on with their behaviour.

I am SO glad that there doesn't seem to be the same issue here wrt labels.

Kids can be very cruel . .. Mean little Brats .. Food is food but I suppose they are used to Waitrose or something . .

At no point did I recommend "cow towing".

It's not a private school thing. It maybe your private school thing.

My DC have taken all manner of tacky plastic bags and packaging into their schools. Not a peep from anyone. Unless they were adept at dealing with teasing, or just didn't give a toss.

I agree that it is not good to teach passivity. It can have long-lasting issues (speaking from experience).

Often, people (children) want permission to say "actually, you're wrong –waste your money spending on the same stuff in a more expensive package – I don't need validation through what label's on my crisp packet, thanks, but if you do - feel free..."

If the child has confidence and self-belief, and can hold their head up and let crap like this wash over them, that is such an important, valuable, life-enhancing skill.

my DB is now a nervous wreck with a drug habit & has ben a victim all his life - I on the other hand learnt early not to take any notice & stand up for myself instead - I know which lesson I would rather of had

Quite an extreme example!

I wasn't one of the popular kids at school, and I wasn't interested in/didn't have fashionable clothes when I moved up to secondary school and some kids made comments about my childish duffel coat. The memory of dad taking me into town to buy me an overpriced but 'cool' coat still means a lot to me. I knew mum and dad cared, and they weren't the kind of people to be buying me cool stuff or things on demand.

I think there was another emergency shopping trip that year too - I'd been invited to an ice skating party in Y7 and didn't have anything to wear, only 'pretty' party stuff or tatty outside-tree climbing stuff. I remember crying the night before and mum and dad trying to find out what was wrong, and what might be suitable. Adidas thee stripes were the answer! Wore those tracky b's and the Nike jumped I got to go with them to death over the next few years.

Funny how 'cool' has changed! Not sure Adidas tracky b's are considered the height of cool any more.

if you can pay for private school, then surely you can get his packed lunch stuff from somewhere with more street cred than aldi.

there is nothing in this world that will change how hideous kids of this age are to one another. Your best bet is to play the game so your child can keep his head down low while hes at school.

or go back to school dinners