DS made fun of at school for having Aldi packed lunch!

[bimbabirba]

More of a WYBU.
DS started at a private school last week. He's in YR 6. Everything was going well until we decided to switch to packed lunches because he hated the hot lunches the school provides for £3.50 a meal. Some kids have been noticing that the drinks and snacks in his lunch box are Aldi's and have been saying things like "Ewww... Aldi, that place is horrid! How gross!".
DS is so embarrassed that every morning he tippexes the Aldi brand or he goes over it with a marker pen but they recognise the packaging and still make fun of him!
I can't believe I have to deal with this! WYBU to mention it to his teacher? He's new and I don't want to make it worse by making him unpopular.

your poor DS. The teasing must make him feel awful.

If it was me, and I could afford to do so, I would shop elsewhere. I wouldnt be happy giving into bullies, however, I wouldn be more unhappy with my DS feeling this way.

That is sad, Nigel. I'm glad that you've reached a place of greater self-confidence now.

In year 6 do kids really have an opinion on supermarkets?!

Year 6 children have an opinion on everything!

Wow.
What would people be telling the op to do if her child was being bullied over the Aldi label in a state school? Would it still be her fault then or is petty snobbery over food to be expected when you pay for education?

I was bullied in state school by people who laughed at my soup and my socks and there was no alternative but to keep taking the same soup and socks.

I beleive that it was not the Aldi food it would have been something else. It is probably one child and the others follow it cold have been his shoes, hair style anything that is slightly different

This sort of thing goes on in all schools have you ot watched The Inbetweeners :) seriously its about being new and fitting in I hope he soon makes some friends but in the meantime hide those Aldi labels

"Nigel, that's (sadly) the best argument I've heard in favour of state education for some time. As an aside / tangent, an Oxbridge tutor I know said that Indy-educated girls are most likely to get 2:1 and very few a first; because they had been inculcated to work hard but not to be independent thinkers or to take any intellectual risks. This is, apparently, more obvious in girls than in boys, but it bears out the conformity culture you describe in indy schools. Such an incredible shame and waste of potential."

i have to agree with that, but I do think the fault lies at home, when the mum and her friends are mostly SAHM what is the motivation to be academically great? as one of my university classmates put it to me at some point... she said she was not at that good uni to start a career, she was there because it was a good place to find a good [£££] husband.

Personally, i feel that if you go and change the brand now, it will just add fuel to the fire.

The children will notice the change of branding, and realise that they have had a negative effect on your son. And bullies feed of these reactions.

And like i said before, next week he'll be getting bullied for something else. Then when you change that, it'll be for something else. If he goes and changes his lunchbox to please these brats, they'll see him as an easy target.

I think you need to work with your son to understand that some children are just little shits and that he shouldn't want to be friends with them in the first place. Build his self confidence up a bit, get him to act like he doesn't care. I teach my daughter to just give a expression and a derisive laugh when people say nasty things to her.

And yes, please speak to the teacher. Just as i imagine all parents would do if their child was being picked on.

I expect the fees alone are a fortune. Why on earth should you have to pay out any more just to please a bunch of nobodies? An aldi juice box won't affect your son's education; his low self esteem will. Focus on building this up instead of making his lunch more expensive. Otherwise next week, it'll be the wrong shoes. Then the wrong coat. Then the wrong haircut. It'll be never ending. Teach him the skills to deal with these snobs and talk to the teacher. It'll be far cheaper and far more effective.

Seriously - middle class is the new chav. Get them to be convinced he is uber posh.
We have a very cool posh school (lots of movie star kids and MTV work placements) and they all do second clothes and "nasty" food.

It won't be the lunch anyway. They are just being vile. He can work on other things and distract from the lunch

Nigel, I don't mean to be "worthy". That's honestly how I feel.

I spent most of my childhood being less well-dressed and with fewer fancy good than my peers. I honestly didn't care - but I will admit that my younger sister found it difficult, and wanted to have the same stuff as everyone else.

I went to state grammar school, where at least 90% of other students were middle or upper class (and I was one of only 3 in my class who couldn't afford the French exchange trip), then to a redbrick university, where nearly everybody else on my course had been to private school. Of course I felt sometimes that my skint background was hampering me. But I have never felt inferior because my parents and I didn't have money. On the contrary, I developed a bit of an antipathy towards people who valued people according to their economic circumstances.

In a way, being a state grammar school girl gave me a certain amount of credibility at university. I was there on my intellectual merits (as of course everyone else was, but they perceived that I had needed to work harder).

Of course I feel for any child who feels different from his friends, but I don't think that covering up Aldi labels is a long term solution if he is going to grow up happy and sure of his own with and identity.

The fact that he went to state primary will already have "marked his card" if your school is full of bourgeois types. OP, this is not what you want to hear but you are just going to have to man up and try to help him out. He' clearly embarrassed, why would you deliberately make it worse ! So you miss 10 minutes of your evening, big deal. It's obviously a big deal for him. If it doesn't work then at least you tried.

I don't want to sound all doom and gloom but subtle bullying is, from my experience, rife at private schools. There may not be any threats, intimidation or physical abuse but it's still there.

My kids go to private school and I shop at lidl with all of the rest of the mums... How else can we afford the fees?

If they recognise the brand it is because they have it at home. It is early days and the kids will soon drop this and move on to the next thing. However I think it is worth bringing up with the school. It is bullying and I think it paints a really poor picture of the school's ethos. My kids are proud of the fact we go to lidl since it means they sometimes get their pain au chocolat for breakfast, but if I had so much as a whisper that they were being teased for it I would be down like a tonne of bricks on the HT.

I'm outraged on your behalf but I think that maybe, just until he has settled in a bit you could buy the packaged stuff elsewhere.
The pound shop do branded cereal bars and crisps multi packs.
It's awful that you have to consider doing this though

Or move him to a school with less repulsive children?

Spend a week sending him with waitrose or m and s branded packaged stuff. After that, go back to using the aldi stuff permanently but get the wrappers off before sending in. I am very surprised this. My friend looked round y6 of a very posh school and she asked the child guide where she had to get the uniform from. She said some branded items from school, the rest asda. It is clearly wrong to give in to this snobbery but your child needs a helping hand to fit in.

Very useful comments, including about the low key bullying. Thank you for opening my eyes.

I shop in Aldi/Lidl too, why would I give away any more of my cash to a supermarket than I have to? In this case though I wouldn't send him in with a packed lunch box he will be teased about.

Wonder what they'd say if you had them over for tea and served up aldi branded treats?

Girls' school may equip you academically. However, i can think of no better breeding ground for crippling insecurities.

I went to an all girls private convent and haven't found that at all. I think my self esteem is much better because of it. My ugly phase would have been much worse for me if there had been boys to witness it. I was a goth as a teen and had no trouble expressing my individuality.

My 2 dc are at private school. They only do school dinners. My daughter was happily showing off her new poundland stationary to a friend who had identical from a 99p store. So we obviously look down on her . My dc get as much of their uniform from the PTA sale as poss. When I taught at a state school I happily told the dc that the art resources they were using was from a pound shop. There were also insidents of violent bullying if someones trainers were too posh and someone else had bought them first. A ridiculous fashion followed for leaving the price tags on trainers. Being good with money is a skill they should be proud of. Around here Aldi and Lidil are posh. My international SIL says in Europe Aldi is like Marks and Sparks.

Did someone actually say its not fair to send a child to a posh school if they aren't rich enough because they'll stand out and its not fair? And others saying that OP should just buy pricier food so the kid won't get picked on?

Wow there are some fucked up people knocking around here. It's no wonder there are nasty bullying little kids, really, the adults aren't much better.

Does your child like the food from aldi.

Take all the packing off and send it in containers.

Problem. Solution.

Or better yet. Give him the following:

Ham & Cheese Roll
Apple
Grapes
Dried Fruit
Something you've baked at home.

Why do you have to send packaged stuff OP?

I think that anybody who looks down on aldi/lidl is clearly not very culturally literate (some of their products are well regarded in foody circles) and insecure.

However, agree with others. Just don't send food in wrappers if it is causing grief.

What a sad thread, I feel so bad for the OP's DS trying to tippex out the branding. :( I really wouldn't change the shopping, but might avoid packaged goods for a while to save his embarrassment.

It's awful to think of your child being picked on for something so trivial. I would certainly worry about what it says regarding the values and ethos of the school, and I would mention it discreetly to the teacher. I think the onus is on them to address it with the children very subtly, without bringing him into it.

Girls' school may equip you academically. However, i can think of no better breeding ground for crippling insecurities.

Interesting. I went to a state comprehensive but studied alongside a lot of independently educated girls on my course at Cambridge. What you say certainly chimes in with my experience. In fact, I was totally taken aback at the level of "angst" among my privately educated peers. Eating disorders were rife, alongside various other mental health issues. It was very different from what I was used to.