To wonder why people can't keep their houses in a basic state of cleanliness?

[HarderToKidnap]

Disabilities aside, why can't people keep their homes basically clean?

I work part time, have a messy dog, a demanding toddler, am extremely lazy but my house always looks OK. You couldn't eat your tea off the top of the door frames but the kitchen surfaces are clean, floors hoovered, sofas plumped and inviting, toilet free of poo crumbs. It's easy and doesn't take long. So WHY do I go round to so many of my friend's houses and see they live in complete pits? Gritty nasty sofas that are horrible to sit on, filthy kitchens, poo smears and crumbs all over toilet, minging hand towels, floors covered in bits. IT IS NOT HARD to do the basics. I've just done a house once over and it's taken 45 minutes.

I understand not wanting to spend all day dusting your books or whatever but when people are coming over why wouldn't you want them to feel clean and comfy in your house? I'm not talking about people that physically can't do it because of illness or disability, but the rest of you? WHY??!!!

[MarianneEnjolras]

And I grew up in a house that would make Kim and Aggie faint. Maybe that's why I'm not too bothered? The fact that my floors actually get hoovered and the bathroom is at least the colour it's supposed to be is a huge improvement on how I grew up. If I could live in a mess like that and survive then a few crumbs in the kitchen won't hurt me.

[softlysoftly]

1 toddler is not the same as 1 toddler plus 1 baby who will never be put down and working full time with a DH who is literally only home for 2 waking hours in a day.

My house isn't clean, it isn't rank but my floor needs a mop at the moment and the loo needs a proper do. There is no way on gods green earth a proper clean takes 45 minutes unless your house has nothing in it and is the size of a postage stamp.

If those flustered, dirty "friends" of ours irritate you so much Im pretty sure they won't be too sad to see the back of you.

And just think with all that extra time you could clean your house properly

[ArbitraryUsername]

Maybe the OP has inferior cushions, Tee. That's why they need plumping and so forth.

I bet her house smells of dog and she doesn't even realise it. she's too busy smugging it up on MN.

[pianodoodle]

I agree it can only take half an hour or so to straighten things out in the morning if you generally keep things clean as you go along.

Easier said than done sometimes though!

[limitedperiodonly]

I opened this in trepidation because I'm a bit of a slattern. However, my house is a palace compared to all your friends'.

I wouldn't go round there OP. It obviously upsets you too much and you might catch something.

[HarderToKidnap]

I do bloody clean properly! I've got a medal. Not every day but the very basics don't take long do they?

[curryeater]

no, the flappy and flusteredness is why they are not doing it, not the other way around. They don't have time or don't feel they have time.

that 45 minutes is not available to everyone. You are like the person saying "And the party only cost £300!" on the other thread.

If it can be done in 45 minutes, you have to do it at the expense of spending that 45 minutes on something else. Maybe you do it instead of sitting on your arse for 45 mumsetting - so you can afford it. Maybe someone else would be doing it at the expense of vital sleep, filling in forms for school, paying utility bills, arranging car insurance, getting a food shop in, earning a living - ie, stuff they can't afford to lose.

I am kind of on the fence about this. On the one hand I am annoyed at the airy hand-waving of, "a mere 45 minutes!" To me it sounds almost as unrealistic as "If they do not have a butler, why do they not simply ask the housemaid to do it?"

On the other hand, MIL's house makes me feel a bit ill. She doesn't work and I can't understand why she can't change the hand towels occasionally. Or, more to the point, not having a job outside the house has absolutely nothing to do with picking up her dog cradling a hand over its arse and then immediately serving food to my dcs with the same hand. and the smeary glasses. oh god the smeary glasses.

[Scholes34]

I used to approach housework like TooTabooToBoo, but now the DC aren't in bed until gone 10.30 pm, and I'm usually already there by that time.

[claraschu]

Rambling old houses (for example) with uneven floors, which have not been "done up" get much dirtier than new houses with fitted kitchens. Some of your messy friends' houses might be inviting in other ways, which you might not appreciate.

Don't be so judgemental.

[Tee2072]

That could be AU.

Although on reflection, I'm also not sure why you plump cushions?

So not just how, but why. I wonder if I can work in when, where and who?

[SPsTotallyMullerFuckingLicious]

If I plump cushions will my living room look less like a play room?

[Mabelface]

Try working almost full time and having 4 kids and 3 cats. Also, as long as my house is clean, tidy doesn't matter. For instance, this morning, I have done pretty much fuck all and I don't give a nun's chuff about what anyone thinks of it.

[ChunkyPickle]

Because it's not my or DP's priority?

I'll hoover once a week or so, DP does the dishwasher, but doesn't wipe down the sides as often as he could, the toilet/bathroom is clean though, clothes are clean, there's always a fresh teatowel etc. If someone's coming round I'll pick up the worst of the toys and bits from the floor.

Life is too short to clean more than I absolutely have to. I'd prefer to be enjoying myself.

[LeGavrOrf]

Haha at fur coat and no knickers = residents of Edinburgh

[pianodoodle]

So op you only work part time and have just one child .

Oi! Less of the "only" please!

I work p/t and have one child (pg with second) and a dog.

Cheeky!

[ArbitraryUsername]

I'm assuming that cushions require plumping s the stuffing has all migrated to one end or something. That has never happened to any of my cushions, though.

You can easily work in the 'when': you must do it during your 45 minutes of daily hoovering, wiping and picking up poo in the garden.

The hilarious thing about that is that the rest of us are thinking, 'eurgh. The OP lets the poo accumulate in her garden before going on a poo picking trip'. Her friends probably think of her house as having a wiff of dog and shit all over the garden. But, hey, she plumped her cushions so she's a saint.

[SilverApples]

Well, if you work part time, you have time to plump whatever you fancy, and one child is less bother than four, surely?

[SubliminalMassaging]

I agree with you Harder it's always been a mystery to me just how some people manage to let their houses get SO unbelievably chaotic and minging. I am not the tidiest, most energetic person by a long shot but there are limits beyond which I just cannot think straight and the mess/dirt would just depress me no end - never mind let visitors through the door.

[Branleuse]

dunno, im just shit at cleaning and tidying. I have a cleaner once a week, but she always rolls her eyes at the state i let it get back into

tbh,the most interesting people i know have messy and often dirty houses

[Thumbwitch]

YABU but purely for claiming to be the laziest person in the Universe, which is clearly bollocks as you clean every day and your friends don't, this proving that they are lazier than you and you therefore lack logic in your declaration.

However, aside of that - YANBU. I am not tidy, by any stretch of the imagination, and I have back problems that mean I don't vacuum as often as I should, but if people are coming round, I make sure that the place is wiped down and clean, loo bleached etc.

I don't plump my cushions though...

[KeemaNaanAndCurryOn]

My loos are clean, but the rest of the house is messy.

2 x full time jobs - mine with v long hours at times.
2 x children under 10, one with SN.
2 x people with better things to do than sweat the small stuff.

The "If I can do it anyone can" argument more full of holes than a sponge.

If I can run a marathon, anyone can! If I can be a lawyer, anyone can! If I can balance three books on my head and dance the macarena, anyone can!

bleh.

[ArbitraryUsername]

The OP also only as a toddler. She's in smug parent of single toddler mode and has absolutely no idea about what will hit her house in about a decade.

[SilverApples]

'The hilarious thing about that is that the rest of us are thinking, 'eurgh. The OP lets the poo accumulate in her garden before going on a poo picking trip'. Her friends probably think of her house as having a wiff of dog and shit all over the garden.'

Well, yes. That thought did run through my mind. I know several people with dogs whose houses and gardens I am less than impressed with. But they aren't friends, and they seem to survive the dogshit and not notice the smell.

[Thurlow]

Arbitrary

Has it never occured to you, OP, that for a lot of families that 45 mins to do a basic tidy is pretty much their only free time during the whole day? That's when faced with a choice of 45 mins of tidying vs 45 mins of Bake Off, the cakes are probably going to win most evenings?

[Weegiemum]

Sometimes we invite people round just to make us clean and tidy up - and I have a cleaner! And also 3dc who make mess just by breathing. Plus a house-rabbit.

But there are almost never skid marks in our toilets, and I pay a man to do windows and grass-cutting.