To wonder why people can't keep their houses in a basic state of cleanliness?

[HarderToKidnap]

Disabilities aside, why can't people keep their homes basically clean?

I work part time, have a messy dog, a demanding toddler, am extremely lazy but my house always looks OK. You couldn't eat your tea off the top of the door frames but the kitchen surfaces are clean, floors hoovered, sofas plumped and inviting, toilet free of poo crumbs. It's easy and doesn't take long. So WHY do I go round to so many of my friend's houses and see they live in complete pits? Gritty nasty sofas that are horrible to sit on, filthy kitchens, poo smears and crumbs all over toilet, minging hand towels, floors covered in bits. IT IS NOT HARD to do the basics. I've just done a house once over and it's taken 45 minutes.

I understand not wanting to spend all day dusting your books or whatever but when people are coming over why wouldn't you want them to feel clean and comfy in your house? I'm not talking about people that physically can't do it because of illness or disability, but the rest of you? WHY??!!!

nickel no way is nickelbaby a toddler already! Your everlasting labour thread was just last month!!!!!!*

*I may be delusional.

Always check the loo seat before you sit to avoid poo crumbs. Or learn to squat.

I cleaned yesterday. Today it doesn't look like it's been done in a month. I think my DC are slowly crumbling everything in their wake.

No cushions for plumping here, leather sofas remove that need.

Oh Christ almighty I don't even have cushions.

What does that say about me?

I do have- 2 FT working adults
3 DCs
2 dogs

My house is clean. It's usually messy, unless it's Saturday morning when everyone is out and it stays tidy for more than 15 minutes.

I am happy enough with that.

Steam cleaners are the way to go. I got one for xmas last year it's really satisfying just going round blasting the hell out of everything :)

Makes me feel like Ripley in Aliens.

I'd love to be tidier
Could you describe your cleaning routine and also toy/book storage.

I rent I hate my kitchen-it's done on the cheap and has 1 drawer- all others don't open.
One drawer filled with standard cutlery and bag clips.
Where am I supposed to keep tea towels/napkins/wooden spoons, spatulas, scissors etc/drinking straws.

I spend a lot of time cooking and also have too much stuff.

Tips please!

Dystopian, what a lovely sentiment even though it is a complete pack of lies. Drinking wine and laughing all night is great until you have to dry your hands on a towel with actual mould growing on it.

My dear friends toilet ALWAYS has a streak down it. In fact she directs us to the streak toilet as "it's cleaner than the other one". Sometimes I lay awake at night having sweats about what the other one must look like.

But what is a level for "others to feel comfortable in your home"? That's a pretty arbitrary statement. My loo is reasonably clean but not as clean as others. My bathroom is reasonably clean but slightly limescaled smeared. My floors are a bit dusty and there's the odd squashed pea on the dining room floor. The kitchen is never done before bed because we do it the next day while the toddler is eating in the highchair. The leather sofa is generally slightly stained with whatever the toddler never the adult, oh no, we wouldn't possibly do that has smeared onto it. The TV cabinet and fireplaces need a damn good dust. There are clothes everywhere upstairs. There are toys and hats and shoes and books everywhere.

To me, that's 'comfortable' because while it's dusty and untidy, it's not actually filthy. And I generally know which random pile on top of a bookcase is likely to contain my keys.

To someone else, that would not be comfortable. Someone else might find sitting at my dining room table, which is stained with felt tip pen and dried playdoh, looking at a pile of crap on top of the chest of drawers and washing up in the kitchen, really messy and uncomfortable.

A lovely friend I know has a house which is a complete pit. The mess is stuff that could be easily put in the bin, you know, crisp packets, empty beer cans, dirty cups, etc. She will open her door to me and say 'welcome to my pit'. I don't argue that it is not a pit. I always tried not to judge until...

Fast forward to Friday, nipeed in for a coffee, house was spotless. I did enquire as to why it was so tidy (we have that kind of friendship), she told me that she had been seeing a new bloke

Ok, so your kids can live in squalor but a new partner shouldn't. That is when I bought my first pair of judgey pants. And they fit.

I do clean my house but it always looks meh :(
we don't have empty beer cans and litter anywhere though
or poo crumbs (what are they?:o)

It was going quite well until plumped sofas - but I think that's the point at which you began to alienate people. It does rather conjure up images of stereotypical MIL coming round and running her finger along the shelf...

I am a very tidy person but I am not the cleanest. I dust when I think "ooh I can write my name in that" and mop the floor when it looks like it needs it (which certainly isn't every day and not necessarily even once a week). I vacuum most days, but only once, and if there are crumbs after vacuuming because an inconsiderate child has just walked through with a biscuit, they stay until the vacuum cleaner comes out tomorrow. I do have a thing about my cooker and my toilet though - both of which are always spotless. I probably spend less than 20 minutes a day on housework.

However, because I am tidy, people always think I clean lots. My house is like me - things appear quite together on the surface, but once you start digging a bit deeper... I like it tidy because if my surroundings are pleasant and ordered, it makes me feel pleasant and ordered. If my house is chaotic, I feel less in control of life.

A basic standard is necessary to maintain health and hygiene and not suffer environmental health serving you with a notice. Beyond that, life really is too short. No one ever died and thought: I wish I'd done more housework.

I just don't care that much, I love it when my house is all clean and shine but I hate doing it. The toilet is clean and I clean the bathroom once a week. At the moment the carpets need vacuuming , the kitchen floor hasn't been cleaned for weeks and last nights dinner dishes still waiting to be done. I really have to much time ,am unemployed at the moment when I worked full time it was much cleaner.

OP, in 45 mins I have not even hoovered everywhere. And it takes half an hour to tidy up before hoovering is possible.
Shitty loos and mouldy towels are disgusting, but everything else I can take in my stride. Being German everyone expects a well organised spottlessly clean household. I'm happy to help my friends to get over that myth

Tee - yup, she's 20 months! and she's just had a developmental growth spurt, so I hardly recognize her myself

being able to write something in the dust is very educational!

You're feeling attacked, OP? When you've started such a goady thread to make other people feel like crap.

I like it.

That sounds disgusting, my house is untidy but not dirty. I wait until my baby has a nap and quickly whizz round.

I think I have pretty low standards but there are some houses I feel physically uncomfortable in and try not to eat or drink in.
Dog and cat-smelling houses creep me out
Cat houses are the worst, if they have litter trays. Seriously? You can't smell the tray of shit? In your kitchen?

The worst house I have ever been to had nothing remotely clean in it at all. If I was offered a drink I would find some excuse to wash the cup or glass. Not rinse, wash. It would be covered in smears and fat and would stink and need hot water and washing up liquid. Sometimes there wouldn't be any. There would never be anything to dry it on. There were several stinking tea towels draped about, all of which would make your hands smell if you picked them up and put them down. So you would try to shake the water off the cup or glass you have just washed and then drink with water dripping up your sleeve. If you sat down you couldn't wear the clothes again, because of ash and cat hair. Once the person whose house it was came back from the market with about 6 or 10 new clean tea towels and dumped them in the kitchen with a sort of "happy now?" gesture to his girlfriend. He did nothing with the existing ones, made no attempt to wash or rotate anything so soon there were about 16 stinking useless tea towels instead of just the original 6 abominations. In a way it was fascinating. but very uncomfortable.

I went there a lot. My boyfriend lived there. I even attempted to sleep there, often. I now see my attempting not to mind the filth as an indication of my very poor self esteem at the time. Back then, I saw my unhappiness as an example of my inflexibility and lack of physical stamina.

Kidnap - you know you could always clean your friend's loo when you visit?

she might appreciate the help.

Op, I can see your point but am still a little on the fence on this one.

If I had 1 child and only worked part time my house would be absolutely sparkling. I think you probably should give back your medal for that one.

Five pages and still no one has explained what poo crumbs are. Am I going to have to Google?

I did a big clean a few weeks ago and my 4 yr old asked who was coming round!