To wonder why people can't keep their houses in a basic state of cleanliness?

[HarderToKidnap]

Disabilities aside, why can't people keep their homes basically clean?

I work part time, have a messy dog, a demanding toddler, am extremely lazy but my house always looks OK. You couldn't eat your tea off the top of the door frames but the kitchen surfaces are clean, floors hoovered, sofas plumped and inviting, toilet free of poo crumbs. It's easy and doesn't take long. So WHY do I go round to so many of my friend's houses and see they live in complete pits? Gritty nasty sofas that are horrible to sit on, filthy kitchens, poo smears and crumbs all over toilet, minging hand towels, floors covered in bits. IT IS NOT HARD to do the basics. I've just done a house once over and it's taken 45 minutes.

I understand not wanting to spend all day dusting your books or whatever but when people are coming over why wouldn't you want them to feel clean and comfy in your house? I'm not talking about people that physically can't do it because of illness or disability, but the rest of you? WHY??!!!

Why do you care OP? Invite them to yours if you don't want to sit on their sofas.

3 kids, 2 cats, 1 dog, 2 full-time working parents results in a house that is only spotless once a week. If you visited me then you'd be quite impressed, if you visited me at any other time....well let's just say it would be better if you didn't

But we never have poo crumbs !!

I posted up thread what I do in my own house that takes an hour. it's a small 3 bed terrace with 1 bathroom. I have two dcs a hairy shedding dog and a cat. in 1 hour I do dishes and counters, bathroom (proper clean inc tiles around shower and bath), all inside windows and mirrors, dusting living room and 3 bedrooms, hoovering all floors and mopping all floors except my room and the stairs and landing because they are carpet. this is all done in an hour without me rushing at all. it takes so little time because it is tidy to start with. I don't know why people find it impossible to believe that this is true.

I'd like to see you do it, really. I'd say what you describe is more like 5 hours' work. So yes I do find it almost unbelievable. My house is a small 3 bed terrace with 1 bathroom, no young dc or pets. The carpets tend to look clean even when I'm just about to vacuum them. Washing up 30 mins, Bathroom 20-30 minutes, Hoovering all floors and mopping some, I'm guessing 2 hours, Inside Windows I'd say 5-30 mins per room maybe 2-3 hours total for all inside windows and mirrors.

oh op I think you might look back at this thread in a couple of years and think . It gets harder as the family grows . once upon a time my home was always clean , now 4 kids and a parrot later.... I clean I really do but ten minutes later anyone walking in would never guess it.

jan49 I absolutely promise you this is what I do in an hour. i cant afford to take longer than the allowed time in work or i would run behind on my next job and lose money. and i cant afford to do shoddy work or i wont be brought back next week. i just get in the zone and i go- i know the order i need to do things in to reduce time faffing about going back and forward for different bits of equipment or walking upstairs to do a job then down to do another then up again etc. for example, i don't do windows in all rooms then dusting. i do windows and mirrors in (say) my room, dusting in my room, hovering in my room then same in the next room to save waking back and forth. it mightn't sound like much but it makes a difference and because i know my house so well and what needs done i just go on autopilot. the radio has to be on though or i go at half speed

"it takes so little time because it is tidy to start with"
This is key.

I think when it reaches the stage of encrusted food being trod into the carpet and redecoration being necessary, it probably is worth condemning. I remember visiting SIL and BIL while they were staying in PILs house while they were away and their own house was being redecorated. I'm still haunted by what I saw. Days old uneaten food lying out on plates, bins overflowing with used tampons, carpets ruined...

As a landlord, I've also seen some pretty appalling sites. If you do not dust, hoover or clean workflows for months, eventually it can such bad damage that they need to be replaced.

None of the above had children...

#work surfaces

Usually when I start comparing myself favorably to somebody else, I remind myself that I'm being a prat and my self esteem must be failing a bit. So go round to one of your scruffy friends OP, say sorry, thank them for still being friends with an idiot, then ask them for a lesson in tolerance. You need one.

i agree thereal when i was suffering from PND my house was a kim and aggie job- this lasted for about 3 years and as you can imagine was a mammoth task when i finally felt able to tackle it. it took ages and i got disheartened a lot during that process. tbh i didn't think i would ever get it all cleared but i satisfied myself by agreeing (in my head) to only getting (say) the pile of papers on top of the fridge done. i also set myself a daily tick list of 2 things 1 was that the dishes be washed after every meals and 2 was that i did 1 washload a day. if i achieved both those things in a day i patted myself on the back but it actually had the effect of me feeling able to do more than that because the basics were taken care of. i had a mental block (still do) on starting anything else if the dishes and washing weren't done because in my head those were priorities. it has worked for me. i still have low days were nothing gets done but because the house is basically clean and tidy, when i do get back on track it isn't too much to catch up with.

Why are you doing all your cleaning at once to take five whole hours? Obviously that may well fit in better with your life, but what fits better in mine is 45 minutes a day or so, over the week everything gets done. Plus half hour or so after dinner doing kitchen and hoovering downstairs and wiping round toilet and sink every day whilst DSs bath is running.

Poo update: three cat poos in the garden this morning, a fox poo and two dog poos! Well below a basic standard of cleanliness!!

Only one toddler OP? Ha, ha, ha. A few more years down the line and you will discover how quickly a few children can trash a house. Including poo smears on the toilet.

Some examples: I sweep the entire downstairs once a day (that's not including the washing of the dining room floor after every meal) and have more dirt on the floor than I would have after a week pre-children. I have to hoover the sitting room every day because of the odd bits of apple and banana the kids leave lying about. The toilet seat needs a clean several times a day thanks to a 4 and 5 year old that like to slide off the seat smearing pee and poo everywhere. I spend twice as much time cleaning as I did when I had no children (or indeed one toddler that didn't make much mess) but the house still looks grubby all the time.

I don't think we are talking fanatical levels of cleanliness here - just a bit of basic maintenance. I wonder if people who live in pits apply the same principles to their own (and their dcss) appearance - not washing clothes or bothering the shower because they don't have time, not brushing hair? I suppose everyone has different priorities. My SIL for instance has an immaculate (almost ocd) house and appearance, but her car is like a mobile rubbish bin - my mum refuses to get in it! Simple enough to take out garbage as it accumulates you would think and shake mats when they get too disgusting - not talking about a deep-clean valet here - but apparently not.

Why are you doing all your cleaning at once to take five whole hours?

Did you mean me? I don't do it all at once. I have back problems and can only vacuum 1 or 2 rooms on the same day. Cleaning windows leaves me with aching muscles so I wouldn't do many at once, maybe 1 or 2 rooms. I don't actually do cleaning every day, more like every third day or so, not including things like washing up and tidying which get done daily.

Some people prefer to do all their housework at once, some people prefer to spread it out. Who cares?

I hate cleaning. But I like the OP's attitude :). It's no-nonsense and makes me want to clean. She's right, of course, if you get your house to a decent level it DOES (or can) only take 45 mins to make it look good. I also award her a medal too since she's got a small kid and a part-time job, so she could just spend her 'time off' not cleaning/in a state of exhaustion.
I don't have many of the dirty pooh-crumb friends she describes though. I think she's been unlucky there (unless her standards are impossibly high - not read whole thread). I have one friend who has a house that's always in a tip, and she always looks a state, and she's always flustered. But she's a sweet person and she does have two young kids, so... I did have to laugh though, when she bitterly complained how her cleaner had stained her work-top - the work-top is not even visible beneath all the dusty crap.

The best solution to a very chaotic and untidy/dirty lifestyle is to streamline everything you own and just stick to necessities/basics.

Don't allow yourself to hoard tons of stuff so that you have to empty the entire contents of a cupboard full of shit that no-one uses just to find the sellotape, and then find you no longer have the energy or the time to put it all back in again! This is how it starts - the slippery slope of unfinished jobs that pile up and drag you down.

Don't have too many clothes - so much easier to keep on top of the washing and ironing when you have a constant turnover of the same 10 things, instead of being able to allow the laundry pile to get completely out of hand because you keep pulling out yet another one of your 35 tee shirts, instead of washing and wearing the same few.

Cleaning is so much easier in clear, uncluttered rooms - it takes a fraction of the time. Ditch almost all unnecessary dust gatherers like ornaments. Don't keep old magazines and papers, don't keep pointless sentimental claptrap.

You will feel SOOO much better for it - your mood and your ability to focus and prioritise the right things in your life will be immesurabally improved.

I'm overweight, don't look groomed, house usually a state, car too. Usually flustered. I'm exhausted and struggle to cope a lot.

Judge away. Glad to be of service. Good to know other people's misfortune and difficulties in life make you feel superior.

subliminal you are right. I feel better after a sort- out.
But then I'm not depressed. If I were, everything would be more difficult. I clean loos every day.
It's hard to keep on top of other ppl's mess IMHO.
My DH is very untidy and works from home.
2 small DCs eating three or four times a day, there's almost no time to clean the highchair and food mat before the next meal.
And the evening is a mad rush of supper/ bath/ bedtime stories etc.
There's no time to do "proper cleaning". If I never rested/ exercised/ spoke to DH in the evening maybe I could wash my floors then?

Someone on MN once advised spending just 5 mins housework in each room to keep on top of things. I do that sometimes. But it doesn't allow for laundry (all the hanging up and putting away) or washing/ steaming floors. It does help my head at times of housework crisis though.

I never look groomed.

I think this is a really unhelpful post. I feel like I am drowning, never rest or have time to self except five mins on mumsnet whilst bf. smug, judging posts like this don't help.

(((magicturnip)))
OMG I feel like that most days. It's relentless.
I found that 5 minute thing really helpful though. Just wanted to share it. Sorry.

subliminal I want to be you!

I am a great believer in little and often. Today for example I have.

Washed and tumble dried two lots of washing and put it away
loaded and unloaded dishwasher
made all the beds and tidied and hovered the whole upstairs including tidying both kids bedrooms
cleaned kitchen

It took me about 45 mins to an hour wasn't really timing myself.

Tomorrow I will

Strip and change all sheets so 3 beds
Wash and tumble dry all sheets and put them away
Hoover again upstairs
tidy kids bedrooms again
Clean Kitchen
Hoover and dust downstairs.
load and unload the dishwasher

The above will probably take me 1 1/2 hours.

Friday I will

Clean 3 x bathrooms including floors
wash and tumble dry 3 x sets of bathroom towels and put away
Hoover upstairs and down
clean kitchen
load and unload the dishwasher
tidy kids bedrooms

Will probably take me about 1 1/2 hours again.

My house is not cluttered with stuff. The kids are free to play and make mess but everything is cleared away at the end of each day so that it is already tidy. The kids bedrooms are the only rooms that really need tidying regulary mainly because of the used paper mountain we accumulate otherwise. By the time we leave for school in the mornings the house is generally tidy and I can get on with the job of cleaning when I get back.

I want 3 bathrooms