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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why people can't keep their houses in a basic state of cleanliness?

526 replies

HarderToKidnap · 16/09/2013 12:26

Disabilities aside, why can't people keep their homes basically clean?

I work part time, have a messy dog, a demanding toddler, am extremely lazy but my house always looks OK. You couldn't eat your tea off the top of the door frames but the kitchen surfaces are clean, floors hoovered, sofas plumped and inviting, toilet free of poo crumbs. It's easy and doesn't take long. So WHY do I go round to so many of my friend's houses and see they live in complete pits? Gritty nasty sofas that are horrible to sit on, filthy kitchens, poo smears and crumbs all over toilet, minging hand towels, floors covered in bits. IT IS NOT HARD to do the basics. I've just done a house once over and it's taken 45 minutes.

I understand not wanting to spend all day dusting your books or whatever but when people are coming over why wouldn't you want them to feel clean and comfy in your house? I'm not talking about people that physically can't do it because of illness or disability, but the rest of you? WHY??!!!

OP posts:
MadameLeBean · 16/09/2013 19:29

FT workers with kids AND sparkly clean homes must have a cleaner. Otherwise it's just not possible.

SlobAtHome · 16/09/2013 19:30

I only am able to think 'well if you don't like it you can get the fuck out' now that I am in a mentally stable place.

BeaWheesht · 16/09/2013 19:31

Dawn - honestly I'd love a friend with a house like that!!! Makes me feel relaxed and welcome. We find it hard because we live in an area where most people are older than us and have a higher disposable income. We just don't have the cash to decorate everywhere all in one go or buy new furniture at the drop of a hat, oh well...

Snog · 16/09/2013 19:33

We are all time poor these days.
Dp and I work full time and do not have a cleaner.
I think cooking healthy meals is important and am happy to do the ironing but don't do a huge amount of cleaning.
There are only so many hours in the week and you can't do everything. Why sit in judgement if others make different choices?
Even on how clean is your house nobody actually got ill or died from their lack of cleanliness, Aggie just claimed it was likely they would in the future...but in reality these people and their families had survived low standards for years.

soundedbetterinmyhead · 16/09/2013 19:34

We expect our friends to sit on our 'gritty, nasty, sofa' but I gave birth on it (12 years ago) so it has sentimental value. Smile

PlentyOfPubeGardens · 16/09/2013 19:35

Out of interest, are there any men on this thread?

DawnOfTheDee · 16/09/2013 19:36

Aw thank you BeaWheesht but you've set me off crying again. I need to get a grip! I just wish I could tell the cool, chilled, non-judgey folks (like you) from the judgey, stick up the ass, meanies...

farewellfarewell · 16/09/2013 19:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeaWheesht · 16/09/2013 19:43

Incidentally Dawn, I thought like you and then at toddlers last week a mum said 'oh I can't wait to get home and my cleaner will have just left, she always comes Wednesday mornings when I'm here' and all but me and another mum said 'oh yeah me too its so nice going home after this'. I was Shock

ItIsKnown · 16/09/2013 19:44

I don't really understand why my sister ( no SN / depression / DC at school all day) only clears plates and washes dishes when there are none left. Seriously - the last time I was there there were five days worth of plates and dishes all with food still on them all over the worktops.

There was a crisp packet on the floor in the bathroom Confused which had been there since the fortnight before when I last visited. WTAF? How hard is it to pick up rubbish and put it in a bin?

My standards used to be stupidly high. I used to have a list of weekly tasks with over a hundred bloody jobs on it apart from the usual cooking, washing-up, laundry etc

They have slipped since then. I'm a great believer in, "cleaning the house while children are growing is like shovelling snow when it is still snowing" Grin

Preciousbane · 16/09/2013 19:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HopeS01 · 16/09/2013 19:51

I agree, OP.

I don't mean to cause any offence to the other MNers, but being busy isn't a very good excuse. We're all busy! I grew up in a single parent household and am 1 of 5 siblings (I now have another 4 step siblings!), my mum has always worked full time. I vividly remember being taught to CLEAN UP AFTER MYSELF from a very young age (which certainly didn't make my childhood unhappy), and my mum would maintain our house to an excessively high standard in the little time she had.
I'm not suggesting that everyone should go this far, but I agree, if you don't let your house get too messy it doesn't take long to have a quick whizz around. The whole family should get involved with regular tidy ups, this is not a woman's job anymore!

:)

Ps. I'm sure we all agree that there is a big difference between a few toys on the floor and a dirty toilet! Hosts should be embarrassed to have guests in their house using a toilet with mess on Blush

DawnOfTheDee · 16/09/2013 19:53

Yes Bea! That's a bit what it's like round here. I mean I'd love a cleaner, hell i'd settle for a dishwasher at this point, and i'm sure some of those ladies are lovely and wouldn't care....but it makes me worry. More so than it used to. Think i've lost a bit of confidence or something. I'm sure i never used to be such a worry wart.

FetchezLaVache · 16/09/2013 19:55

ItIsKnown- are you my sister? I have, ahem, been known to wash up only when there are no plates left. And I'm pretty sure a crisp packet could easily remain on my bathroom floor for a fortnight. Blush

This thread has actually motivated me to do a small amount of housework today.

Original poster
HarderToKidnap · 16/09/2013 19:57

Dawn, no one will care if your house is basically clean, really.

OP posts:
FrauMoose · 16/09/2013 20:01

I suppose for me the important things are:-

  • Not giving family or visitors food poisoning. This isn't exactly a tidiness issue, but does involve putting food in the fridge and also chucking it out of the fridge. Also washing knives etc used for raw meant
- Not having things so cluttered it's unsafe. Enough room on the stairs, not putting things in piles that might topple. Some safety rules - and therefore tidiness - have to be implemented when there are toddlers etc in the house.
  • Trying to avoid smells that might make people feel sick. So I'd air rooms regularly. But I would also avoid air freshener, aerosols etc as these make me feel nauseous.
- Trying to stop things being so chaotic one wastes loads and loads of time hunting for lost objects. So some kind of vague order - which probably requires doing one or two loads of washing a week.

That's it.

DawnOfTheDee · 16/09/2013 20:09

You'd care OP. I never plump my sofa. I hoover but probably not as often as I should (and my carpet is all one colour so shows up the tiniest little bits), sometimes there are dishes on the side cos I don't have a dishwasher, sometimes there are bit on the floor.

I haven't a fecking scooby what a poo crumb is. Maybe my house is riddled with them.

DawnOfTheDee · 16/09/2013 20:10

^bits

ItIsKnown · 16/09/2013 20:11

FetchezLaVache, do you scrape rancid food off off said plates into the bin and not leave it there attracting flies and stinking all week in a room where food is being prepared?

If so, you are not my sister.

I don't own a dishwasher but if I did and had lots of plates I would probably only run it once a week

Original poster
HarderToKidnap · 16/09/2013 20:14

I'm sure I wouldn't. And even if I did think "skanky cow" it's not like that would affect me liking you or wanting to spend time with you. I love my filthy friends. It's just that they are skanky! And they love me back but probably think I'm mouthy or too fat or something. It's not like me wondering why someone just can't find the time to swipe an antibacterial wipe round affects how I actually feel about them in a real way.

OP posts:
honeybunny14 · 16/09/2013 20:19

Ive never been in a house like that ever do ppl really live like that ???

honeybunny14 · 16/09/2013 20:25

Dawnofthedee ur house snds fine anyone with kids will know wat its like my house is clean bt tidy it isnt lol

DawnOfTheDee · 16/09/2013 20:36

Thanks honeybunny. There's just a lot of stuff. We don't have an attic or a garage so storage is difficult and i'm not very good at keeping things to the bare minimum am trying to be better though. With another DC on the way i just keep thinking things are going to get worse!

EmeraldJeanie · 16/09/2013 20:44

Well I'm bit depressed now. So, kids in bed and I shall have a small glass of red, read a paperback in a bubblebath in my 1970s skanky [very] bathroom.

LadyBigtoes · 16/09/2013 20:45

Though I find it all so much work, I really don't want a cleaner. Apart from the fact that I'd hate to have someone in my house who I'd have to chat to and pay which I'd be incredibly embarrassed about, a cleaner would just clean (for which I would have to tidy and declutter). I would pay to magically have all the random tidying, wiping, washing, putting away and sorting out clutter done every day, but a cleaner can't do that because you have to know what goes where and what you can chuck etc. Plus they would have to be there all the time to keep up with it.

What I need is a really good robot.